Anonymous wrote:I can vouch that it is hard to go from travel to rec. We did both last year, and after the structure of the travel program and the dedication of the players, rec can be frustrating. It's fun, but the girls goof around a lot at practice (if they show up) and are less likely to show up for games, so you end up very short-handed some weekends and praying one more girl will show up so you don't have to forfeit the game. It's one thing for this to happen in kindergarten, but by 3rd grade when everyone's been playing for 4 years, you kind of figure maybe they could buckle down a bit for 2 hours a week.

We do love our rec team, though.

It depends. *Generally*, the rec experience nose-dives at U9 (or whatever age your local club/league starts travel) but then perks back up by U12. The players who are just being pushed out there by their parents are gone, and players who played travel but chose different priorities are back in rec.

I'm coaching several former travel players this year at U14. They were initially shocked that so many players in the league were so good. Took an adjustment period.

But you can also get a group of kids that goofs off. Again, that's a little less of an issue as you get older -- kids mature (somewhat), and the kids who have no interest in soccer are long gone.

Forfeits and short-handed play, though, are a legitimate problem. A lot of these players are playing rec soccer because it's NOT their first priority. (I've seen a few counterexamples in which coaches somehow convince kids and their parents that this is the most important thing in the world.) They'll miss time for basketball, lacrosse, plays, music performances, etc.

And a lot of rec-league organizers make it worse. The Vienna approach under the longtime VP of House was to have small rosters because he viewed it as a mortal sin to have players on the bench. The result is that you're often one Scout trip away from asking out-of-shape players to get through all 70 minutes of a full-field game.

Rec leagues need more flexible rosters. Maybe ask on the registration form how much of a commitment each player is likely to make and bear that in mind when making the roster. If you put 20 people on a roster, you can probably deal with that one game in which all 20 show up, and you'll be grateful for all the times you have 6-7 players out but can still field a team.

When DD returned to older-age rec this season, it was nice that all of the teams got to play on a new turf field a few minutes from our neighborhood, had excellent young refs who were constantly being monitored and mentored at the field by the ref guy, and experienced a relatively high level of play at times. We saved $2,500 or so for this. I will say that you don't want to make too many goalkeeper back passes at a rec game lest the parents from your own team lose their minds screaming about kicking it out. And yes, the kids goof off at practice.

I can vouch that it is hard to go from travel to rec. We did both last year, and after the structure of the travel program and the dedication of the players, rec can be frustrating. It's fun, but the girls goof around a lot at practice (if they show up) and are less likely to show up for games, so you end up very short-handed some weekends and praying one more girl will show up so you don't have to forfeit the game. It's one thing for this to happen in kindergarten, but by 3rd grade when everyone's been playing for 4 years, you kind of figure maybe they could buckle down a bit for 2 hours a week.

We do love our rec team, though.

Mostly is just a few inexperienced parents with their first kid playing a travel sport. It can take some time depending on club and coach expertise in dealing with inexperienced parents, and whether there is a base of non-first time parents with kids on the team.

By about age 12 or 13 parents and kids have a handle on where the kid stands in ability. Kids absolutely can still improve restive to their peer group, but for many - the goal changes to having fun and getting ready to play high school ball. Things calm way down.

Anonymous wrote:You will be lucky if your kid survives the distraction of the other gender in high school. Should I go to practice or hang out with my girl/boy friend. It will happen to most of these kids, soccer isn't as cool as getting to 2nd base.

I thought only high school athletes had a chance of getting to second base.

You will be lucky if your kid survives the distraction of the other gender in high school. Should I go to practice or hang out with my girl/boy friend. It will happen to most of these kids, soccer isn't as cool as getting to 2nd base.

Anonymous wrote:It is appalling in this area the arrogance of travel soccer parents. Is it just me or does everyone think their kid is the greatest?! I'm realistic and my kid is not the best, but soccer is a team sport and seems like it's a bunch of individual mindsets. My DA plays u14 travel in va, moved here 2 years ago.

It's usually the mom complaining about the other stage moms who is the worst stage mom of all....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is appalling in this area the arrogance of travel soccer parents. Is it just me or does everyone think their kid is the greatest?! I'm realistic and my kid is not the best, but soccer is a team sport and seems like it's a bunch of individual mindsets. My DA plays u14 travel in va, moved here 2 years ago.

Because of Title IX it is much easier for girls to get soccer scholarships because girls' soccer gets more $ and isn't competing with Football.

However, the D1 schools get 14 scholarships at one time, compared to the boys' 9.9. Again, this is for the ENTIRE time the players are in college--so if 13 girls have scholarships and nobody is graduating--there is 1 available for the incoming Freshmen class.

This is the second time you have referenced it in the thread, but nitpicking here, there are partial scholarships, and for many in this area, it isn't about the aid but the admissions.

" I remember that he scored a goal and all of us moms on the other team started cheering. "

This made me cry. May Karma bless you finding a $20 bill in the dryer. Good stuff.

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us are ignorant

My son is 14 and plays travel. I've definitely seen some crazy soccer parents over the years (one time nearly came to blows between one of our dads and a teenage spectator on the opposing team), but those were on the most competitive teams my son played with. He's on a B team with a smaller club in NOVA now that plays NCSL and the parents are great and so are the boys! I think if you feel like your kid is in a negative environment and losing their love of the sport, it's time to shop around.

And by the way, even though he's been playing since he was tiny, I don't have much confidence that he'll make his HS JV soccer team, which I think will be sad, but I'm just keeping it real.

Are you me? Ah, no, your kid's a little older, so I guess not. But my family's story is similar.

Someone mentioned that players in lower-level travel should just go kill it in rec. But it doesn't always work that way. If you're *athletically* ahead of the curve, sure, you can dominate rec. But if you have soccer skills and soccer sense and enjoy putting them to use, rec league at U9-U10 can be rough. Everyone's packed together, no one knows how to pass the ball, and a bunch of kids are just pushed out there by their parents.

Nothing at all wrong with trying out travel at U9 and U10 (and, frankly, it should be open to just about anyone willing to make the commitment at that age) and then going back to rec when rec league gets better in the older ages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Especially once all that parental time/energy (+ opportunity cost) is taken into account, it seems like it would be cheaper to just pay for college.... even assuming the child was to get one of these coveted scholarships that are apparently so hard to get. Has anyone actually done a cost/benefit analysis for this?

No, probably not. But if you figure $3000/year for travel soccer * 8 years, you'd better have better than a 1 in 8 chance for a (full) scholarship to make the "investment" worthwhile.

It was explained to me several years ago that for people spending that much money, it's not about the scholarship. It's about getting into a better college than the kid would've made academically.

Which makes sense if you play for, say, UVA. A little less if you're at, say, Christopher Newport.

Anonymous wrote:My DS is 10 and was born with a severe leg disability such that one leg is a couple of inches shorter than the other with virtually no calf muscle. But he is an amazing little athlete who sometimes leaves me teary eyed. We never brag about him and I'm always stunned by those parents who think their 10 year old is gods gift to whatever sport they are playing and how the coach stinks because he doesn't keep their kid in the entire game. I just hold my tongue but these parents are clueless.

I won't "out" you and I don't know you personally but I believe I have seen your little boy play soccer a couple of times. My first thought was that this little boy had hurt himself and why didn't the coach or ref take him out until another mom said he was fine and just watch. He's amazing. He runs almost as fast as any of the other children and has no fear of mixing it up. I remember that he scored a goal and all of us moms on the other team started cheering. After the game even my little boy wondered how your son did it which allowed me to have a talk with him about overcoming challenges. Even if you're not the mom of the little boy I saw you must be very proud of him.

We've been fortunate with almost all of our kids' soccer teams, and they have been on DA, A, B, and C teams through the years. Most parents have been either highly knowledgeable about soccer or perfectly happy to enjoy watching their kid without knowing much about the sport. I have only met 2 or 3 parents (out of hundreds) who seemed to be delusional about their kid's abilities or assume that there was a potential scholarship or pro-career in their U10 kid's future.

I have seen a fair number of parents melting down over playing time and player demotion issues though, and have acquaintances who seem to spend half of each season plotting their coach's downfall. A PP alluded to the type of really toxic parent I've observed, one who is highly successful, wealthy, and competitive, and expects the coach to respond promptly to resolve every imagined problem. I swear some of them think the coach should treat them just like the junior associates at their law firm do.

Anonymous wrote:Not all of us are ignorant

My son is 14 and plays travel. I've definitely seen some crazy soccer parents over the years (one time nearly came to blows between one of our dads and a teenage spectator on the opposing team), but those were on the most competitive teams my son played with. He's on a B team with a smaller club in NOVA now that plays NCSL and the parents are great and so are the boys! I think if you feel like your kid is in a negative environment and losing their love of the sport, it's time to shop around.

And by the way, even though he's been playing since he was tiny, I don't have much confidence that he'll make his HS JV soccer team, which I think will be sad, but I'm just keeping it real.

+1 Same. We've been around tons of soccer parents around here and it is usually only those on the very top teams that are delusional. The vast majority are like this... B teams, good kids, good families, who gives a crap about a piddly scholarship or pretending the kid will go far. Your reaction is about a minority on the fringe...

Not all of us are ignorant

My son is 14 and plays travel. I've definitely seen some crazy soccer parents over the years (one time nearly came to blows between one of our dads and a teenage spectator on the opposing team), but those were on the most competitive teams my son played with. He's on a B team with a smaller club in NOVA now that plays NCSL and the parents are great and so are the boys! I think if you feel like your kid is in a negative environment and losing their love of the sport, it's time to shop around.

And by the way, even though he's been playing since he was tiny, I don't have much confidence that he'll make his HS JV soccer team, which I think will be sad, but I'm just keeping it real.