Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:57
Subject: Re:Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:The ONLY way i would do this is if it were either each family got their own room or the men and boys had their own space so did the women and girls.
I am not changing my tampon with my BIL in the next stall and then sleeping next to me. Nope.
I also don't want my preteen daughters walking in on BIL getting out of the shower. It isn't creepy but totally not comfortable at all.
You need to let them know that while you will love to visit, the house they are building and the future they are envisioning with it won't be reality. You need to get the Siblings and other inlaws on board to back you up that every holiday will NOT be spent in a barracks. Nope. Not gonna happen.
If they want to take all the grandkids for a week a summer up there, more power to them.
Yeah, this is not a great set up on a lot of levels. Even the idea of these grandparents having all of the grandchildren there for a week over the summer may be a bit premature. obviously, the kids are too young right now to be left alone in a room like that. When they are older, who knows if the cousins will even get along with each other or if the grandparents will be capable of supervising them all for any length of time.
I suppose you could make it work on some level by staying nearby in another rental property or hotel and hanging out at the their house during the day. But is that really how you want to spend your time, vacation leave and money every holiday?
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:46
Subject: Re:Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:The ONLY way i would do this is if it were either each family got their own room or the men and boys had their own space so did the women and girls.
I am not changing my tampon with my BIL in the next stall and then sleeping next to me. Nope.
I also don't want my preteen daughters walking in on BIL getting out of the shower. It isn't creepy but totally not comfortable at all.
You need to let them know that while you will love to visit, the house they are building and the future they are envisioning with it won't be reality. You need to get the Siblings and other inlaws on board to back you up that every holiday will NOT be spent in a barracks. Nope. Not gonna happen.
If they want to take all the grandkids for a week a summer up there, more power to them.
You sound loud and obnoxious.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:45
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
You have two chief complaints about this property and their expectations:
1) No way will you be able to join them at this vacation home more than annually;
2) The home is too small.
This is a bit like the old saw about the disgruntled restaurant patron who said "The food at that place is disgusting; not only that, but the portions are so small!"
Each complaint is legitimate, but what you have thus far failed to recognize is that they almost cancel each other out.
Since you won't be going more than once a year, anyway, just gently let them know that, and they'll process it. The barracks style dormitories are amusing, but irrelevant since, as you've already said, you won't be there that much. Get a VRBO or hotel for the time that you are there.
1) No way will you be able to join them at this vacation home more than annually;
2) The home is too small.
This is a bit like the old saw about the disgruntled restaurant patron who said "The food at that place is disgusting; not only that, but the portions are so small!"
Each complaint is legitimate, but what you have thus far failed to recognize is that they almost cancel each other out.
Since you won't be going more than once a year, anyway, just gently let them know that, and they'll process it. The barracks style dormitories are amusing, but irrelevant since, as you've already said, you won't be there that much. Get a VRBO or hotel for the time that you are there.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:41
Subject: Re:Parents building a vacation home
The ONLY way i would do this is if it were either each family got their own room or the men and boys had their own space so did the women and girls.
I am not changing my tampon with my BIL in the next stall and then sleeping next to me. Nope.
I also don't want my preteen daughters walking in on BIL getting out of the shower. It isn't creepy but totally not comfortable at all.
You need to let them know that while you will love to visit, the house they are building and the future they are envisioning with it won't be reality. You need to get the Siblings and other inlaws on board to back you up that every holiday will NOT be spent in a barracks. Nope. Not gonna happen.
If they want to take all the grandkids for a week a summer up there, more power to them.
I am not changing my tampon with my BIL in the next stall and then sleeping next to me. Nope.
I also don't want my preteen daughters walking in on BIL getting out of the shower. It isn't creepy but totally not comfortable at all.
You need to let them know that while you will love to visit, the house they are building and the future they are envisioning with it won't be reality. You need to get the Siblings and other inlaws on board to back you up that every holiday will NOT be spent in a barracks. Nope. Not gonna happen.
If they want to take all the grandkids for a week a summer up there, more power to them.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:39
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
This is crazy.
Your husband and his siblings have (HAD!) a responsibility to tell their parents that this is a very bad idea.
I can't imagine how there was no family discussion about this before the parents paid for the property and drew up the plans. If your husband and the siblings knew about this for months, they should have spoken up.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:37
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, how many siblings does your DH have and are they brothers or sisters or a combination of both? What are the ages of the grandchildren? How many boys, how many girls?
I'm curious as well!
OP here. I don't want to be too specific, but yes there are siblings. All are married (so there are adult men and women who would be bunking). There are only a few grandchildren right now and all are babies in cribs.
Are the adult siblings all the same sex by any chance?
No. There are both male and female siblings.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:34
Subject: Re:Parents building a vacation home
Share with them your concerns but let them build whatever they want. It's also your right to not visit them at all or only just once a year. If you only get two weeks off and it's 8 hours away you have a very good excuse to limit your visits. My IL's built a beautiful vacation home but they know that we can only visit once a year because of our careers and kids schools.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:19
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, how many siblings does your DH have and are they brothers or sisters or a combination of both? What are the ages of the grandchildren? How many boys, how many girls?
I'm curious as well!
OP here. I don't want to be too specific, but yes there are siblings. All are married (so there are adult men and women who would be bunking). There are only a few grandchildren right now and all are babies in cribs.
Are the adult siblings all the same sex by any chance?
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:17
Subject: Re:Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that would look at it like camping? Bring a tent and sleep under the stars. Or rent an RV for the week for extra space and privacy. I think it could be a lot of fun!
Who goes camping every month and on all holidays?
Camping is actually quite a bit more private than this bunk room set up would be. At least when you're camping you have your own tent which you can pitch a bit away from everyone else's tent if you want to.
The communal bathroom with stalls and bunk room....that might be fun for the grandchildren but I can't imagine married spouses wanting anything to do with that set up for more than an overnight stay.
It's telling how the in-laws who are building this home have their own private bedroom and bathroom. It's not that they don't "get" that a little privacy is nice for themselves....
This is either well intended by some rather clueless people or a deliberate attempt to make some or all of the adult family members feel uncomfortable about staying there.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:16
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, how many siblings does your DH have and are they brothers or sisters or a combination of both? What are the ages of the grandchildren? How many boys, how many girls?
I'm curious as well!
OP here. I don't want to be too specific, but yes there are siblings. All are married (so there are adult men and women who would be bunking). There are only a few grandchildren right now and all are babies in cribs.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:13
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, how many siblings does your DH have and are they brothers or sisters or a combination of both? What are the ages of the grandchildren? How many boys, how many girls?
I'm curious as well!
Anonymous
10/11/2017 11:11
Subject: Re:Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that would look at it like camping? Bring a tent and sleep under the stars. Or rent an RV for the week for extra space and privacy. I think it could be a lot of fun!
Who goes camping every month and on all holidays?
Anonymous
10/11/2017 10:54
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
Out of curiosity, how many siblings does your DH have and are they brothers or sisters or a combination of both? What are the ages of the grandchildren? How many boys, how many girls?
Anonymous
10/11/2017 10:40
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
Anonymous wrote:Communal bathroom with stalls?
Bahahahaha.
I was going to come on here and say that "Family is everything. Cherish your time together," but their home plan is a seriously weird idea.
Lol. Sorry, Op.
Anonymous
10/11/2017 10:36
Subject: Parents building a vacation home
So your DH will go with the kids 2-3 times a year, holidays will happen once or twice before other people also bow out ...
I do think it would be kind for DH and his siblings to explain to them that the huge family holidays they envision are unlikely to happen. But aside from that, I can totally see the cousins heading up there in a few years as teens to all bunk together and hang out at the lake.
I do think it would be kind for DH and his siblings to explain to them that the huge family holidays they envision are unlikely to happen. But aside from that, I can totally see the cousins heading up there in a few years as teens to all bunk together and hang out at the lake.