Anonymous
10/07/2017 19:32
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Here's my advice. Assume you'll never get married. Wake up tomorrow and just live the best life you can. Go on dates but don't put a lot of stake in them. View each date as a way to make a new friend. Try and get to know men you date and stop focusing on the superficial things. Instead try and find someone you have fun with. That's all you need to do. You may be surprised who you have fun with and who you enjoy kissing and eventually having sex with. I would try going out with some men who aren't your "type." You may be surprised.
Signed,
Wife of clean cut, conservative, good looking, "good family," high wage earner who doesn't make me that happy. I was a little too focused on the good on paper and instead should of concentrated on having fun and having fun without alcohol. I'm lonely.
I'm not too sure about this. So many people marry someone who is fun in bed, but can't stand be married or parenting with them because their values are totally different.
I do agree OP should be willing to try men outside of her checklist.
PP. this is true. I should focus on the positives which is I have a lot in common with my spouse. Similar values, view on raising children, growing wealth
Anonymous
10/07/2017 19:31
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Here's my advice. Assume you'll never get married. Wake up tomorrow and just live the best life you can. Go on dates but don't put a lot of stake in them. View each date as a way to make a new friend. Try and get to know men you date and stop focusing on the superficial things. Instead try and find someone you have fun with. That's all you need to do. You may be surprised who you have fun with and who you enjoy kissing and eventually having sex with. I would try going out with some men who aren't your "type." You may be surprised.
Signed,
Wife of clean cut, conservative, good looking, "good family," high wage earner who doesn't make me that happy. I was a little too focused on the good on paper and instead should of concentrated on having fun and having fun without alcohol. I'm lonely.
I'm not too sure about this. So many people marry someone who is fun in bed, but can't stand be married or parenting with them because their values are totally different.
I do agree OP should be willing to try men outside of her checklist.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 19:29
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I do think most of you are right. I need to look past the superifical height and facial hair. I do think politics is important because it is a big issue in many relationships. Look at all the " My spouse voted for Trump." threads. I still think a good career and wanting a family is important.
Pp - Being Republian doesn't mean I am a Trump supporter, like many liberals who are not Hilary supporters. I am not the biggest fan of Trump.
Here's the thing salaries can change. Your best bet is to look for someone with a stable career, who is hard working ( even in adverse situations) and can provide for himself. You don't want to end up with the guy who makes 6 figures but if he lost that job refuses to work at all because everything else is beneath him. Also realize that big salaries also mean time away from family. Would you want a guy with the right salary who wants a family, but has a job that means he would seldom see that family?
Seperate values from politics. What a person values is more important than if they identify as liberal, conservative, Democrat or Rebublican. A person's party can change, values rarely due.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 19:24
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Here's my advice. Assume you'll never get married. Wake up tomorrow and just live the best life you can. Go on dates but don't put a lot of stake in them. View each date as a way to make a new friend. Try and get to know men you date and stop focusing on the superficial things. Instead try and find someone you have fun with. That's all you need to do. You may be surprised who you have fun with and who you enjoy kissing and eventually having sex with. I would try going out with some men who aren't your "type." You may be surprised.
Signed,
Wife of clean cut, conservative, good looking, "good family," high wage earner who doesn't make me that happy. I was a little too focused on the good on paper and instead should of concentrated on having fun and having fun without alcohol. I'm lonely.
Signed,
Wife of clean cut, conservative, good looking, "good family," high wage earner who doesn't make me that happy. I was a little too focused on the good on paper and instead should of concentrated on having fun and having fun without alcohol. I'm lonely.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 19:10
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Op here. I do think most of you are right. I need to look past the superifical height and facial hair. I do think politics is important because it is a big issue in many relationships. Look at all the " My spouse voted for Trump." threads. I still think a good career and wanting a family is important.
Pp - Being Republian doesn't mean I am a Trump supporter, like many liberals who are not Hilary supporters. I am not the biggest fan of Trump.
Pp - Being Republian doesn't mean I am a Trump supporter, like many liberals who are not Hilary supporters. I am not the biggest fan of Trump.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 18:52
Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The other threads are making me wonder about my situation. I just 32 and still single. I broke up with a guy a couple of months ago because I didn't see a future with him. I am starting to wonder if I have to settle because I don't feel like I am meeting the right guy I want to marry. I am cute and think I am a good catch, but I could be wrong. He wants to get back with me and I am almost tempted because I feel my chances to marry and have children are dwindling.
What kind of guy do you want to marry?
Op here. I want a guy who is 30's, makes at least 5-6 figure salary, white ( my preference), ideally tall, mostly Republican values ( not a total liberal), clean cut ( I hate the facial hair trend), in good shape ( I'm a health nut), and wants a family.
How many of those requirements does the ex who wants you back meet?
As an aside -- facial hair is a weird reason to rule people out when you're looking for a future husband. A clean cut guy can grow a beard and vice versa.
Op here. He met most expect he was a liberal ( created some issues) and the facial hair. I know it's trivial but having a a dad who had facial hair, I just can't get into it. I don't like the unkempt look.
If the guy met your entire list aside from he didn't vote the way you want and had a beard, then you should really think about what you're *actually* looking for in a future husband, because it's not that list. The only things that are missing are the least relevant, and you're not interested in him at all. So what you're really looking for is something more specific or something you don't feel comfortable admitting in an anonymous forum. Figure out what it is, then go find it.
She wants a Trump. Donnie Jr would be her ideal man. Go for it OP! Live your dream. Live your truth.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 18:48
Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The other threads are making me wonder about my situation. I just 32 and still single. I broke up with a guy a couple of months ago because I didn't see a future with him. I am starting to wonder if I have to settle because I don't feel like I am meeting the right guy I want to marry. I am cute and think I am a good catch, but I could be wrong. He wants to get back with me and I am almost tempted because I feel my chances to marry and have children are dwindling.
What kind of guy do you want to marry?
Op here. I want a guy who is 30's, makes at least 5-6 figure salary, white ( my preference), ideally tall, mostly Republican values ( not a total liberal), clean cut ( I hate the facial hair trend), in good shape ( I'm a health nut), and wants a family.
How many of those requirements does the ex who wants you back meet?
As an aside -- facial hair is a weird reason to rule people out when you're looking for a future husband. A clean cut guy can grow a beard and vice versa.
Op here. He met most expect he was a liberal ( created some issues) and the facial hair. I know it's trivial but having a a dad who had facial hair, I just can't get into it. I don't like the unkempt look.
If the guy met your entire list aside from he didn't vote the way you want and had a beard, then you should really think about what you're *actually* looking for in a future husband, because it's not that list. The only things that are missing are the least relevant, and you're not interested in him at all. So what you're really looking for is something more specific or something you don't feel comfortable admitting in an anonymous forum. Figure out what it is, then go find it.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 18:35
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
What you want is Trey MacDougal. What you need is Hayy Goldenblatt.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 18:14
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't get why me not liking facial hair makes me a troll. Don't we all have some pet peeve or trivial dealbreaker? Mine is unkempt facial hair and smoking. I make $200,000 gross a year. I want a guy who makes at least $80,000 a year. I can be lenient about politics but do think it's important to have similiar views on it. I am very short and do not that much about the height thing. I am only attracted to white men. I don't think I'm too picky.
1. Facial hair doesn't mean unkempt nor does it mean they are a smoker. Wtf?
2. Salaries can change. Being fixated on a particular number is shortsighted.
3. You should be focused on values not a political label.
4. Are you white yourself? If you are non white and insistent on having a white man you are limiting your dating pool. Because like it or not most people pair off within their own race.
5. Height most people pair with people of a similar height. Yes there are exceptions, but again you are really limiting yourself if he must be 6'2"
Most picky people do not think they are picky. You are 32 and while that is not old your musthaves read more like someone who is 18 to 25. You really need to consider what is important.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 18:08
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't get why me not liking facial hair makes me a troll. Don't we all have some pet peeve or trivial dealbreaker? Mine is unkempt facial hair and smoking. I make $200,000 gross a year. I want a guy who makes at least $80,000 a year. I can be lenient about politics but do think it's important to have similiar views on it. I am very short and do not that much about the height thing. I am only attracted to white men. I don't think I'm too picky.
The fact that you don't like facial hair because it makes you think of your dad is what makes you a troll.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 18:02
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
I'd drop the height requirement. Most men in dc aren't tall. You're very much limiting yourself with the height requirement
Anonymous
10/07/2017 18:00
Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The other threads are making me wonder about my situation. I just 32 and still single. I broke up with a guy a couple of months ago because I didn't see a future with him. I am starting to wonder if I have to settle because I don't feel like I am meeting the right guy I want to marry. I am cute and think I am a good catch, but I could be wrong. He wants to get back with me and I am almost tempted because I feel my chances to marry and have children are dwindling.
What kind of guy do you want to marry?
Op here. I want a guy who is 30's, makes at least 5-6 figure salary, white ( my preference), ideally tall, mostly Republican values ( not a total liberal), clean cut ( I hate the facial hair trend), in good shape ( I'm a health nut), and wants a family.
It might be time to modify your list . Keep only the things that are truly important. A wise person told me your must have list should be no longer than 3 things.
+1 to this
You can shave a face. People's politics change over time. Salaries are also flexible. Race - I don't know what to say to that. In shape seems less important than enjoys spending time with you on mutually agreeable activities. Etc.
The thing that seem most important if your goal is to settle down and raise children with a partner is: Wants a family.
You can get back together with that other guy but you already know you don't really like him that much. If all you really want is a sperm donor, then just go to a sperm bank. Read some of these other threads about women who hate their husbands but are now stuck with them because of children, and do not fall into that same trap.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 17:55
Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The other threads are making me wonder about my situation. I just 32 and still single. I broke up with a guy a couple of months ago because I didn't see a future with him. I am starting to wonder if I have to settle because I don't feel like I am meeting the right guy I want to marry. I am cute and think I am a good catch, but I could be wrong. He wants to get back with me and I am almost tempted because I feel my chances to marry and have children are dwindling.
What kind of guy do you want to marry?
Op here. I want a guy who is 30's, makes at least 5-6 figure salary, white ( my preference), ideally tall, mostly Republican values ( not a total liberal), clean cut ( I hate the facial hair trend), in good shape ( I'm a health nut), and wants a family.
Frankly, OP, you are describing the guy that 99% of single white women your age want. Thank you for admitting that and being blunt. In other words, you want a normal, traditional guy - a real man, despite the screeds of your professor from your gender studies class.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 17:53
Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for you if you would make such a bad decision because you can’t be alone.
Op here. You don't know me to be making that assumption. I spent a good 5 years being single in my 20's. I dated around but didn't date anyone for more than a couple of months. I am more than fine being alone, but the reality is my time for children is decreasing, and I definitely want a family. I don't want to be 40 and never have a child.
A couple of options:
1. Marry the guy and have a baby but have a marriage that's meh.
2. Wait a few more years and hope to meet the right guy.
3. If you don't meet the right guy, have a baby and be a single mom. That's probably better than marrying a guy you're not really in love with.
Do not do this.
Anonymous
10/07/2017 17:50
Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Op here. I don't get why me not liking facial hair makes me a troll. Don't we all have some pet peeve or trivial dealbreaker? Mine is unkempt facial hair and smoking. I make $200,000 gross a year. I want a guy who makes at least $80,000 a year. I can be lenient about politics but do think it's important to have similiar views on it. I am very short and do not that much about the height thing. I am only attracted to white men. I don't think I'm too picky.