Anonymous wrote:I didn't really think about marriage until 30 or so. I met my DH at 32, married at 35, had a kid at 36, considering #2 at 39. I did have to focus on dating "seriously," but I had a blast doing it, met many nice people (just no chemistry), had a couple of short relationships and finally met my DH.

You really lucked out. I know a lot of women who did the same thing - not focus on marriage until 30. The problem is, you meet a guy at 31, then date for 2 years, and finally realize he's not the one. Now you're 33, start process again, and find out at 35 the same issue. Soon the biological clock is really ticking. It's a real gamble.. but what can you do?

Anonymous wrote:I didn't really think about marriage until 30 or so. I met my DH at 32, married at 35, had a kid at 36, considering #2 at 39. I did have to focus on dating "seriously," but I had a blast doing it, met many nice people (just no chemistry), had a couple of short relationships and finally met my DH.

What I found was that being "older" was actually a fantastic filter against the kinds of guys your friends are. Not judging a person according to superficial data is a great proxy for many other important values. At the end of the day, it really comes down to your attitude. People, including men, want to be with women who are level headed and know how to have fun. That's it, really. Unless you are very overweight, I think you can have pretty much any man you want. It's not about your age or looks (for the most part), it's about how you make people feel.

People who understand this have more friends and an easier time dating

Posters on here who constantly post about a woman's age and judgements that typically only focus on looks most likely have a more difficult time dating and don't know why.

If I wanted to have kids I wouldn’t look for anyone over 33 unless they hit every other check on the list. Fertility problems are common enough, and adding advanced age into the mix doesn’t help your chances. I get that its 2017, but basic biology hasn’t changed.

I didn't really think about marriage until 30 or so. I met my DH at 32, married at 35, had a kid at 36, considering #2 at 39. I did have to focus on dating "seriously," but I had a blast doing it, met many nice people (just no chemistry), had a couple of short relationships and finally met my DH.

What I found was that being "older" was actually a fantastic filter against the kinds of guys your friends are. Not judging a person according to superficial data is a great proxy for many other important values. At the end of the day, it really comes down to your attitude. People, including men, want to be with women who are level headed and know how to have fun. That's it, really. Unless you are very overweight, I think you can have pretty much any man you want. It's not about your age or looks (for the most part), it's about how you make people feel.

The only 30+ women I date are md/ science phd types who obviously had to work their butts off for a long time and perhaps didn’t have time to really form relationships

If you are some “cute” state school woman, hah no - your shelf life is a lot less and not comparable.

Anonymous wrote:I am a 29 year old single woman that is living in the moment. I am advancing my career by going back to school. I've never been one to focus on getting married or having kids by a certain age. Last night I was having a conversation with a couple male friends. One ( engaged guy) told me I should put more focus into finding a husband because most men women single and over 30 as " damaged goods". If they were a catch, they would have already been taken. The other guys agreed, and then said while I am a good catch, men might immediately dismiss me because of my age. I believe it's bs buy curious what other, specifically males, think about their views?

Op I think the bigger problem you'll face as you move single into your thirties is men your age who are damaged goods.

Anonymous wrote:Women get too old and man don't want them

old woman can just steal husband, promise lot of sex, then once married just say 'I'm too tired'.

Many women are in their prime in the 30's - financially, sexually, visually - but there are many that are just left overs, that will never get married because they have 'issues'. The other problem with women over 30 is that they get desperate and men can smell it a mile away. It's a turn off.

41 year old woman here. Late twenties and early thirties are great dating years in my opinion. Go online several different sites.

I am 41 and still have decent dating options, though most are divorced with kids. Don't freak out or feel pressured but I do encourage you to prioritize dating over the next few years if your goal is marriage with kids. And don't waste time dating guys who you can't see marrying - I wasted too much time in my twenties and thirties in monogamous relationships that didn't go anywhere.

Anonymous wrote:This is strange. As a married woman, I can assure you marriage and men in general are overrated. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow I would enjoy the life insurance payout and never entertain marriage ever again. Most men are terrible in bed so not sure I'd entertain sex either unless I found a unicorn man. While men tend to live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval, most women do not. Many of us really just don't.l care.

Definitely.

I am a young woman and i see this dynamic all the time. My parents are divorced and my dad would do anything to get back with my mom. He "could" easily be dating 20 year olds, by DCUM logic, as he's wealthy, in good shape, etc. But my mom is it for him. And he, being a functionally healthy human being, has no interest in dating people a fraction of his age anyway.

By contrast, my mom has zero interest in him or really dating at all, though she does read romance novels and stuff, but I think that's partly because it's one of the only genres targeted and written by women, and less about her actually hoping for a man.

I think most women can take or leave men. The reverse is not true in the least. Men spend their time obsessively plotting how to get women.

As a young woman, marriage is looking more and more like a racket and trap for women.

This is strange. As a married woman, I can assure you marriage and men in general are overrated. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow I would enjoy the life insurance payout and never entertain marriage ever again. Most men are terrible in bed so not sure I'd entertain sex either unless I found a unicorn man. While men tend to live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval, most women do not. Many of us really just don't.l care.

Don't shoot the messenger.

Anonymous wrote:Women get too old and man don't want them

More like the reverse

Women get too old and man don't want them

I think damaged goods is a strong word. The statistics do show the number of never-marrieds in each age group from 30 and above has been increasing over time. Likewise, women are waiting later to have children, and fertility clinics are seeing improving fortunes because of that.

So I think there is a phenomenon of people waiting too long and never finding someone, and those who "leave the market" (just give up). Also as you get older, it's more likely potential mates of your same age are now married.. but as another poster said, you only need one. Who cares about statistics in the aggregate.