If he is going to be legally responsible for the child I would be reluctant as well.

I know of zero cases where there was a formal legal process for using an anonymous sperm donor and he was later successfully sued for child support. Most states follow the uniform parentage act that excludes legally valid anonymous sperm donors.

There are cases involving unofficial formal arrangements for donation, and later there was a claim for child support.

Very different.

The state family law judge could give this woman an interim formal legal ruling before the divorce is final so she can proceed independently with her life and take actions that are important for her own bodily integrity and medical issues.

The soon-to-be-ex would then be definitely cut out, absolved of legal responsibility, and would not be in a position to use "permission" as leverage.

I this N? We haven't heard from you in a while....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By this standard, he should have to get your permission before having sex with anyone since that may also result in a child born to one party in a (dissolving) marriage. And yes, I understand the laws around presumptions of parental responsibility in the context of a marriage, but the presumption can be easily overcome in this case. It's a retrograde and sexist law.

But she wouldn't be responsible for a baby he has with someone else. Poor analogy.

And neither would he, because as I said the presumption of paternity is easily overcome in this case (especially if she signs a release as discussed above).

OP, are you ok with your husband having visitation or shared custody of this child. It goes both ways. He could be declared the legal father and ordered to pay child supports but then he would have shared rights to that child in terms of custody.

Anonymous wrote:Given there are cases now where anonymous donors were ordered to pay child support, I would not sign any permissions if I were still a husband.

+1. Way too much risk and very little upside.