Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.

Well, aren’t you smug! Quite frankly, judging from a lot of threads in this forum, I’d say there are a lot of boyfriends out there in the world who are much better companions than your husbands. Get off your high horse.

Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.

You don't want to be with someone who is only with you because it's too difficult to get away from you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.

we've been together a decade, own a home together, joint money, beneficiary to each other's wills, medical POA, raising children together. Believe me there is far more commitment here than there was in either of our marriages

Why didn't you get married? How many kids do you have together?

because marriage sucks. Why are Goldie hawn-and Kurt rusell still together? They never got married

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.

+1 When people, particularly men, sign "just a piece of paper" they are making a commitment and know it will be expensive to break up. Somehow women think living together=commitment like marriage. Sorry, it does not. Not legally. Not emotionally, either (just ask anyone who has lived with someone and then gotten married to that person).

But too late now for the OP- just get out. He has shown he has no respect for you. He is acting like an ass to get you to do the dirty work and break it off, as another poster said.

Right, he never respected OP. This is just the most egregious time she has caught him not respecting her. But by giving him all the benefits of marriage without the true commitment of it, she has told him that he doesn’t need to respect her.

Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.

Actually, the courts treated single moms better than wives when it comes to custody and child support. If OP wants, she can move the kid and never file for support or custody, if the boyfriend doesn't care he won't file. If he files, he has to establish paternity first.

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.

Before we actually legally wed last year, my then-boyfriend was far more of a committed partner than my exH had been in 5 years of marriage. Even after we married, my first H was never my emergency contact person because he was bad a making decisions and was honest that he didn't want to be responsible. In contrast, my mere boyfriend took unpaid personal days off to help me when I was hospitalized with uncontrollable vomitting and abdominal cramps. So, yeah, he was and still is my partner, regardless of which side of the marriage license we're on.

Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.

+1 When people, particularly men, sign "just a piece of paper" they are making a commitment and know it will be expensive to break up. Somehow women think living together=commitment like marriage. Sorry, it does not. Not legally. Not emotionally, either (just ask anyone who has lived with someone and then gotten married to that person).

But too late now for the OP- just get out. He has shown he has no respect for you. He is acting like an ass to get you to do the dirty work and break it off, as another poster said.

Probably best to look at the underlying issues as opposed to this sensational pants incident. The pants-changer is obviously in the wrong, and is being disrespectful to you primarily but also the other woman (assuming he's not sleeping with her).

Those of you saying separation will be easier without marriage are only partially right. Separating and dealing with custody issues are NEVER easy, and child support is always a huge pain and very expensive.

Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.

-1000x

Bad advice here.
Sorry.

If OP were married to this rat-a-tat-tat, she would have so many hoops to jump from.

Best to just leave and be done with him!

If you stay w/him, then you will only be miserable going forward.

The guy is obviously cheating on you and he really doesn't seem like he really values you + your relationship overall.

You tell him to come home, yet he stays a little while w/her first.

Doesn't that show that he is willing to lose you just to spend some time in her company??!

Remain consistent in what you say or he will definitely take you even more for granted.

I strongly encourage you to get rid of this riff raff.
Stat.

Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.

No it doesn't. People will always cheat and act like asses. It just makes it a more drawn-out process if you do split up, if you're in a state that requires a year of legal separation before you can divorce.

Anonymous wrote:Be grateful for this sign from God that this is OVER and this relationship is no good. Now you don't have to waste any more time with him. Celebration!

Exactly! Your way is now clear! What more must he do to show you that he's done with you? He's just waiting for you to break it off.

Also - don't issue ultimatums unless you mean it. You need to be DONE with him.

Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.

+1. Or at least he'd be on the hook for more money for you.

Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.