Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes - doing something I told him to do does teach responsibility, as does keeping family posted about where you are.

That is a skill that I will require if he wants more freedom. Do you want to go to the mall with your friends? OK, but only if you let me know when you arrive and when you plan to get home.

I expect my older DS to keep me posted about his plans and my husband to let me know when he has a change of plans. That's common courtesy and I want both of my kids to learn that courtesy.

...and this was a courtesy/skill my parents expected of me 40 years ago. Amazing what was accomplished without tracking apps.

I was a child of a single working mom who hated not being able to get in touch with her easily when after school activities went late, for example. I used to wish for an easy way to be in contact with her without relying on finding payphones. Now it's here and it's easy to use. Why not use a tool if it's available?

I had a family Apple Music account.

My niece, a young adult, was staying with us briefly. She had access to it (5 per household).
I accidentally saw what town she was in like 6 months later. Let her know and told her I'd not check it.
At the year mark, she deleted herself.

My kid has a phone now and has apple music. I can see where he is, but it isn't an issue.
It just a lower impact GPS.

Anonymous wrote:Can people not see how these apps make people more anxious, not less? We use these technologies and come to think they are necessary. Which leads to the feeling that situations aren't safe without the technologies. Which, ironically, makes us feel less safe (and in need of monitoring) in the world. Then what happens when DS leaves his phone in his school locker? You panic.

Recently went cold turkey and deleted FindFriends for this reason. I found I was constantly tracking my kids (now 16 and 18). It was not good for me or our relationships, especially my younger and more independent one. He was really resenting it. I won't lie, it's been a tough transition for me not being able to track their whereabouts at a moments notice - I've pretty much known where they were since we had baby monitors in their rooms. My husband has kept the app and can find them if needed - but he doesn't access it nearly as much as I did.

I find the find friends handy for things like checking to see if DS remembers to leave places when he is supposed. For example, I may have told him that he needs to come right home from school because he has a dentist appointment. If I look and see he is still hanging around school at 3:15, when he should have already started heading home, I will text or call him with a reminder. It is a super convenient tool for a number of situations. I don't know why some people are so tech phobic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people not see how these apps make people more anxious, not less? We use these technologies and come to think they are necessary. Which leads to the feeling that situations aren't safe without the technologies. Which, ironically, makes us feel less safe (and in need of monitoring) in the world. Then what happens when DS leaves his phone in his school locker? You panic.

Or, if your kid takes off for a walk - you don't spend the next four days panicked looking for him (ahem, college gardens, ahem).

Except that this kid took a walk without his cellphone. Are you going to suggest we get kids microchipped?

No, but I would suggest that my child take her phone with her if she's going for a walk in case something happened.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people not see how these apps make people more anxious, not less? We use these technologies and come to think they are necessary. Which leads to the feeling that situations aren't safe without the technologies. Which, ironically, makes us feel less safe (and in need of monitoring) in the world. Then what happens when DS leaves his phone in his school locker? You panic.

Or, if your kid takes off for a walk - you don't spend the next four days panicked looking for him (ahem, college gardens, ahem).

Except that this kid took a walk without his cellphone. Are you going to suggest we get kids microchipped?

Anonymous wrote:Two boys, both teens. We've never tracked them. I think it is creepy, and silly actually.

We know.
And then there are teens like the one in Rockville who just disappear and you wish you'd tracked their phones.
We haven't even given DS a phone. Sigh.