Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine to just invite your dad and wife number 3. It sounds like her two daughters total moocher if they want to glom onto every family trip

The two daughters visiting are in elementary school so it's a little harsh to call them moochers. What do you expect them to do while their mother is away? If they have no one else they to watch them, they can't stay alone.

I think it's fine to just invite your dad and wife number 3. It sounds like her two daughters total moocher if they want to glom onto every family trip

Anonymous wrote:Op, tread carefully. My stepdaughter played this with my DH and now they have little to no communication. It's a package deal and sometimes, I get it, it sucks. Try to find a way to have lunch, just you and Dad, and try to keep that relationship strong, if possible. The rest will fall into place.

So you married a crappy man . Mazel tov!

OP I'm worse than you because my dad's new wife doesn't have kids and I'm still annoyed/I can't be bothered. They are in that inseparable honeymoon phase- and I'm happy he's happy.

The problem is she's a total Pop-blocker and won't let him/or he just won't visit me alone. I know I'm no one to her so she shouldn't care. Now that she's more decrepit I've mentioned we'd still love the grandkids to see him... but he never quite visits.

Embrace it. My MIL is on husband #3. We were all skeptical but they've been together for 20 years and he's lovely as are his kids. My kids have a big messy family full of people who love them.

It's very strange they are bring the grown children and two grandkids every time. Could you draw a limit...you can, at most, host everyone once a year or once every couple years, but invite your dad and his wife to come by themselves for other visits?

Can see why op is upset. It's not her job to entertain and host the new 3rd wife's grandkids every visit many times per year.

Anonymous wrote:Op, tread carefully. My stepdaughter played this with my DH and now they have little to no communication. It's a package deal and sometimes, I get it, it sucks. Try to find a way to have lunch, just you and Dad, and try to keep that relationship strong, if possible. The rest will fall into place.

Why can't a child spend time alone with a parent without the partner? This is Dad's third marriage. Its not a step-mom who raised the woman. I would have no issue if my husband flew out to see his adult kids and grandkids alone. When they'd come visit, I always opted out of activities even if they invited me so they could have some alone time with Dad.

My way around it would be to meet your dad (and whoever else tags along) for lunch at a halfway point. I know it's a long day of driving, but you would see your dad and not have to host or lose an entire weekend. Could this be a happy medium?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you always have to host? Can you not just meet them in a neutral location?

We've gone to visit them (well really to visit my dad but they all live in his house) a couple times but meeting up is not really an option. They don't have money for hotels and activities and we aren't paying for them.

You are their vacation.

That's what I was thinking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you always have to host? Can you not just meet them in a neutral location?

We've gone to visit them (well really to visit my dad but they all live in his house) a couple times but meeting up is not really an option. They don't have money for hotels and activities and we aren't paying for them.

You are their vacation.

I think it's very bizarre they are bringing her grown children plus their children to your house! I would just maintain contact with your dad separately.

Anonymous wrote:Op, tread carefully. My stepdaughter played this with my DH and now they have little to no communication. It's a package deal and sometimes, I get it, it sucks. Try to find a way to have lunch, just you and Dad, and try to keep that relationship strong, if possible. The rest will fall into place.

Played what? Why were you pushing your adult daughter and her kids on your DH's daughter?

Anonymous wrote:Op, tread carefully. My stepdaughter played this with my DH and now they have little to no communication. It's a package deal and sometimes, I get it, it sucks. Try to find a way to have lunch, just you and Dad, and try to keep that relationship strong, if possible. The rest will fall into place.

Op here, what happened in your case?

Anonymous wrote:Op, tread carefully. My stepdaughter played this with my DH and now they have little to no communication. It's a package deal and sometimes, I get it, it sucks. Try to find a way to have lunch, just you and Dad, and try to keep that relationship strong, if possible. The rest will fall into place.

Not op. You should have encouraged your DH to have a relationship with his daughter. Don't you see why his DD would want some alone time with her Dad?

Op, tread carefully. My stepdaughter played this with my DH and now they have little to no communication. It's a package deal and sometimes, I get it, it sucks. Try to find a way to have lunch, just you and Dad, and try to keep that relationship strong, if possible. The rest will fall into place.