I was reading this the other day too and for me it reminded me of my brothers break up with several girls. He just wasn't that into them. Keeping a relationship with them would've given them hope so I know he wanted us to end it with them too and we did.

As for me- an ex I dated through hs and uni- I love his parents and they love me. I visit them w my dh and kids when I go home every couple years. One time early on they told me his new wife had said she felt threatened by them when they were first dating and that they were too involved so she forced them to move hours away and rarely visit. I was in shock. They were so mellow and sweet. Sounds like she was coloured by her messed up upbringing they said. She really could have used them on her side and learned from them. So I kind of jokingly said "ok don't mention u saw me" and they were like "we won't" and I was like"no srsly" and they were like "lol. No srsly!!"

At some point I would hope we all get old enough that no one cares and everyone is confident in themselves and can just visit/enjoy.

My MIL is friends on FB with BIL's exGF and I think he would flip if he was on FB and knew about it (or if current long term GF was on FB and saw it I'm sure she'd be offended). I would also be offended if MIL was friends with DH's exGF...

My HS/college BF's mom reached out to me after we broke up and told me how much she'd miss me and I also found it very sweet. We were young and innocent and together for 4 years. Every now and then I look her up on FB and look at pictures (I have been happily married for 7 years and have 2 kids, exBF is also married with a little girl...). I think of them fondly but have no desire to actually strike up a reunion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Son does not just get to say "no" if you've developed a close relationship with this woman over five years. She is now your friend if you both want to keep in touch. Try to talk or get together when he's not around but don't make it a secret and don't inform on your son, to her, or vice versa.

LOL really? Would you be saying the same thing if it was your ex boy and your mother or father did the same? What is wrong with you people?

Of course not! Then t would be seen as some great betrayal poor boundaries etc. DCUM narcissists at their finest.

Anonymous wrote:Son does not just get to say "no" if you've developed a close relationship with this woman over five years. She is now your friend if you both want to keep in touch. Try to talk or get together when he's not around but don't make it a secret and don't inform on your son, to her, or vice versa.

I agree with this, although it would also depend on why they broke up. In my family's case, my brother cheated on his girlfriend of 10 years, dumped her, and it also became apparent that he had mental health issues. My mom and his ex stayed friendly, because they had been friends for almost a decade.

My mom does not discuss with my brother that she occasionally has lunch with his ex. She does not discuss my brother's life with his ex.