Personally, I wouldn't do it. Or at least expect most people who are not your closest friends/family to decline.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If people do attend, many will be there out of a sense of obligation and won't be very happy to be there. Is that how you want your wedding day to feel?

Not only that, even the ones who decline will ALWAYS REMEMBER that you chose a venue over your guests. It's incredibly immature of you to even consider doing this, to the point that you're too immature to be getting married.

Ehh or she was prioritizing being married over having a party

OP here. The venue is a small hotel in Old Town Alexandria. We are thinking small (50 people) gathering of closest friends and family, most of whom are local. 4:30 pm ceremony. 5-6 reception; 7-9 dinner 10 - 11 dancing. Not a big wedding.

Ah yes there is nothing I love more than rushing right from work to Alexandria with no down time and barely any time to change clothes, fighting traffic, and then having to get up for work the next morning. Sounds like a lovely time.

I would have a really hard time attending a wedding then. I would need to find someone to get the kids from school and get them home, help with homework, un pack and repack a pack a lunch etc. Much more than our usual sitter has to do on a weekend night. Move the work schedule around to take a half day to have time to come home and change, we'd have to cab to old town, and we are usually asleep by 10 on a week night to get up at 6am the next day. Plus vacation time is tricky so close to the holidays. It would be a huge inconvenience for us. I would do it for a sibling or maybe one or two close friends.

If you really care about the venue more than having people there, then go ahead and do it. Maybe check with your family and your closest friend or two. But I don't think you can expect 50 people to make that big of a sacrifice just so you get to have your perfect venue. Pick someplace else and do a Sunday brunch wedding, that would be logistically a lot easier for your guests. Or a courthouse ceremony during the day with your parents and dinner at a downtown restaurant with friends later. Or understand that you get your dream wedding with maybe a dozen people there.

Anonymous wrote:Why bother having a wedding if you don't want everyone there? Have a 15 person wedding and only invite immediate family.

What a dopey comment. A wedding is a wedding whether you have 15 people or 500.

Anonymous wrote:If your guests are local and you aren't going to be upset about most people leaving immediately after dinner, that sounds lovely. Asking people to travel for a week day wedding is another story.

This.

Why bother having a wedding if you don't want everyone there? Have a 15 person wedding and only invite immediate family.

If your guests are local and you aren't going to be upset about most people leaving immediately after dinner, that sounds lovely. Asking people to travel for a week day wedding is another story.

Just get married with the two of you and a witness, and throw a dinner reception from 6 to 10 pm at your venue of choice.

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine had a wedding on a Tuesday night. Almost everyone left before dinner was done. She was heading back to her house by 8:30.

It really depends on your expectations... if you just want a simple wedding with very few people (and no kids), then it can work. But if many of your guests are going to be working the next day or have kids that have homework and need to be on the bus the next morning, it's not worth it, go with a cheaper venue and a weekend date.

+1 I went to a Tuesday wedding and it was lovely. The people closest to the bride and groom took time off from work and school to attend, but that was about it. If that doesn't bother you, then great. It's a good way to save money.

Anonymous wrote:Would it be a Friday night or Mon-Thurs night? Huge difference.

Agree. If I have to travel for a Wed night wedding, that's 2-3 days off work depending on how far away I live. If everyone important is in DC? Go for it. If anyone is coming from elsewhere ... that's rough.

If someone sent me an invite to a Tues-Wed-Thurs wedding far away, I'd assume they didnt' want me to come and just sent an invite out of courtesy. Which is fine, I just don't think you'd care if I was there one way or the otehr.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If people do attend, many will be there out of a sense of obligation and won't be very happy to be there. Is that how you want your wedding day to feel?

Not only that, even the ones who decline will ALWAYS REMEMBER that you chose a venue over your guests. It's incredibly immature of you to even consider doing this, to the point that you're too immature to be getting married.

Ehh or she was prioritizing being married over having a party

That's the exact opposite of what she's doing. She would rather inconvenience her guests so she can have her dream wedding location.

Does not sound pleasant for your guests. And they will resent you because they will definitely know it is because you are being cheap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If people do attend, many will be there out of a sense of obligation and won't be very happy to be there. Is that how you want your wedding day to feel?

Not only that, even the ones who decline will ALWAYS REMEMBER that you chose a venue over your guests. It's incredibly immature of you to even consider doing this, to the point that you're too immature to be getting married.

Ehh or she was prioritizing being married over having a party

OP here. The venue is a small hotel in Old Town Alexandria. We are thinking small (50 people) gathering of closest friends and family, most of whom are local. 4:30 pm ceremony. 5-6 reception; 7-9 dinner 10 - 11 dancing. Not a big wedding.

Asking people to leave work early during the week can be a bit dicey, because there are so many things that might hold them up. I don't think your plan is a bad one, but I do think you would need to accept that some people will arrive late and not be upset by that.

You know your guests better than we do If there's someone who HAS to be there and will need to travel/has in inflexible job/childcare situation, ask first maybe? I would imagine this is only a best friend/sibling/parent would be a make or break person if the two getting married can make it and you have an officiant. FWIW, for a wedding, I'd be happy to get a sitter on a week day evening, but I would be annoyed if it started before 6.

Would it be a Friday night or Mon-Thurs night? Huge difference.