Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 09:20     Subject: Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lawyer in early retirement.


Retirement implies you worked and saved up enough assets to be financially independent and no longer work.

SAHM is not living off her investments earned thru work, unless you consider her relationship to her DH work.


I am.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 09:12     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:^^ I've come to believe the difference between working moms and sahms/housewives is lack of efficiency in the latter group.

In our school, many of the room moms and volunteers are moms that at least still work part-time. The sahs are too over-whelmed and always want to tell you how busy they are.


And I have found that SAHMs and working moms can work really well together. The working mom brings her more recent work experience to the table, while the SAHM brings flexibility. The combination can be really productive.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:58     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
You know what I see all the time--on vacation, meeting new people...they'll ask my husband what he does and then they get squirrelly like they are afraid to ask me. Once I volunteer my STEM job, the men get all animated and start asking me questions and there is that look of respect and admiration. Later, I'm always told how impressed they are with me. I am an attractive woman involved with her kids so I think they expect that I am the trophy wife or SAH.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:56     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

I respectfully disagree. After my kids go off to school, I'm still doing a lot of things that benefit my kids directly, although they are not with me. I may be volunteering in their school, grocery shopping, getting rid of the outgrown clothes and toys in their closets, mowing the lawn, taking the car to the garage for an oil change, picking up dry cleaning, taking the grandparents to doctor appointments, fixing random broken things around the house or searching for lost items, picking up books that have been reserved at the library, planning weekend outings/play dates or family vacations, taking pets to the vet, gardening ...
Both stay at home mom and housewife are misnomers. I'm hardly ever home. We need new terminology. Maybe "family manager"?


How about housewife? Homemaker? Everything you describe would have been considered part of the normal activities of a housewife/homemaker back in the days when the terminology was accepted. The term, whether housewife or homemaker, was always meant to encompass a wide variety of activities associated with running the house and raising the family.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:52     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
^^ I've come to believe the difference between working moms and sahms/housewives is lack of efficiency in the latter group.

In our school, many of the room moms and volunteers are moms that at least still work part-time. The sahs are too over-whelmed and always want to tell you how busy they are.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:49     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One and the same.

I agree, but at the same time, I'm a SAHM of school-aged children. It's summer so I am totally feeling the SAHM vibe - because it is all day, every day - but during the school year, I'm a housewife. Full stop.

Once the kids are on that bus at 8:45, it's me until I get them at 4pm. I'm doing stuff for the HOUSE, or stuff for me (the WIFE). There really is no "mom" in the equation for about 7 hours, unless of course someone is sick or school is out.


Agreed SAHM of school age kids is a housewife.


I respectfully disagree. After my kids go off to school, I'm still doing a lot of things that benefit my kids directly, although they are not with me. I may be volunteering in their school, grocery shopping, getting rid of the outgrown clothes and toys in their closets, mowing the lawn, taking the car to the garage for an oil change, picking up dry cleaning, taking the grandparents to doctor appointments, fixing random broken things around the house or searching for lost items, picking up books that have been reserved at the library, planning weekend outings/play dates or family vacations, taking pets to the vet, gardening ...
Both stay at home mom and housewife are misnomers. I'm hardly ever home. We need new terminology. Maybe "family manager"?


But aren't most women the family manager? I work full time and do everything on your list except volunteer. I do a lot during my lunch hour.


Me too. I even volunteer at school because I WAH full-time 40 hours per week and move my hours around when I volunteer.

22-years in and I have a hefty amount of retirement saved. We also use my health benefits because I am a fed and DH works for himself consulting.

I play the role of SAHM (doing all carpool driving), but have to squeeze in the 40-hours work too.

Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:49     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom was a SAHM/housewife and was glad when she was old enough she could just say she was retired. Do I have to wait until I'm 65 to say I'm retired? Why don't men call themselves working husbands/dads? stay at home dads? Work at home husbands? It's stupid. We need a new name for SAHMs/wives. Homemaker is stupid title too. The Real Housewives franchise has made it so no one wants to call themselves a housewife.


She's not retired if she never worked and never earned a pension.

My husband and I both have large retirement portfolios. I can't imagine relying on one spouse'.


And if you meet her, and if she says that she's retired, you can then say, "No, you're not."

Other than that, really, how is it any business of yours, what she calls herself?
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:47     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom was a SAHM/housewife and was glad when she was old enough she could just say she was retired. Do I have to wait until I'm 65 to say I'm retired? Why don't men call themselves working husbands/dads? stay at home dads? Work at home husbands? It's stupid. We need a new name for SAHMs/wives. Homemaker is stupid title too. The Real Housewives franchise has made it so no one wants to call themselves a housewife.


She's not retired if she never worked and never earned a pension.

My husband and I both have large retirement portfolios. I can't imagine relying on one spouse'.


I think that would fall under the category of "Her business" not "Your business". If she and her husband agreed that she should SAH and take care of childcare duty, that was a legitimate choice and that they somehow managed to make work with one income. Good for them. Plus, you don't know if the SAHM worked previously and has her own pension/accounts that will supplement the marital retirement income.

You also can't assume that a person who has worked full time all of their life has put away a dime or earned any type of pension.

Don't ASSume.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:45     Subject: Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:Lawyer in early retirement.


Retirement implies you worked and saved up enough assets to be financially independent and no longer work.

SAHM is not living off her investments earned thru work, unless you consider her relationship to her DH work.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:43     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:One and the same.

I agree, but at the same time, I'm a SAHM of school-aged children. It's summer so I am totally feeling the SAHM vibe - because it is all day, every day - but during the school year, I'm a housewife. Full stop.

Once the kids are on that bus at 8:45, it's me until I get them at 4pm. I'm doing stuff for the HOUSE, or stuff for me (the WIFE). There really is no "mom" in the equation for about 7 hours, unless of course someone is sick or school is out.


Agreed SAHM of school age kids is a housewife.


I respectfully disagree. After my kids go off to school, I'm still doing a lot of things that benefit my kids directly, although they are not with me. I may be volunteering in their school, grocery shopping, getting rid of the outgrown clothes and toys in their closets, mowing the lawn, taking the car to the garage for an oil change, picking up dry cleaning, taking the grandparents to doctor appointments, fixing random broken things around the house or searching for lost items, picking up books that have been reserved at the library, planning weekend outings/play dates or family vacations, taking pets to the vet, gardening ...
Both stay at home mom and housewife are misnomers. I'm hardly ever home. We need new terminology. Maybe "family manager"?


But aren't most women the family manager? I work full time and do everything on your list except volunteer. I do a lot during my lunch hour.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:43     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

I respectfully disagree. After my kids go off to school, I'm still doing a lot of things that benefit my kids directly, although they are not with me. I may be volunteering in their school, grocery shopping, getting rid of the outgrown clothes and toys in their closets, mowing the lawn, taking the car to the garage for an oil change, picking up dry cleaning, taking the grandparents to doctor appointments, fixing random broken things around the house or searching for lost items, picking up books that have been reserved at the library, planning weekend outings/play dates or family vacations, taking pets to the vet, gardening ...
Both stay at home mom and housewife are misnomers. I'm hardly ever home. We need new terminology. Maybe "family manager"?


No. How about "a mother with non-adult children at home who does not have paid employment and is not currently looking for paid employment"?

Here's a novelty--I didnt even need a term for how I spend my time once I moved out of D.C. I never find myself answering the question "what do you do" unless I'm filling out an insurance form at the doctor's office. No one where I live now cares or asks. They know me as a person. I have acquaintances and neighbors for years and have no idea where they go to work or who their "Boss" is.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:37     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:My mom was a SAHM/housewife and was glad when she was old enough she could just say she was retired. Do I have to wait until I'm 65 to say I'm retired? Why don't men call themselves working husbands/dads? stay at home dads? Work at home husbands? It's stupid. We need a new name for SAHMs/wives. Homemaker is stupid title too. The Real Housewives franchise has made it so no one wants to call themselves a housewife.


She's not retired if she never worked and never earned a pension.

My husband and I both have large retirement portfolios. I can't imagine relying on one spouse'.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:32     Subject: Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because the main work they're doing is raising kids, not prepping the 6pm martini for when their husband gets home? If a woman stays home and has no kids, I think that's a housewife. But housewife sounds dismissive of the work that goes into a SAHM's day -- she's not just doing the ironing thinking of how to please her husband.

-WOH


+1


But what about when kids leave for college or basically barely see mom because they have their own lives and our at school most days?


That is when the mom becomes "retired" or, perhaps, goes back to work PT (semi retired) or back to work full time. Or if she prefers to call herself a housewife/homemaker, that's fine, too.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:29     Subject: Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because the main work they're doing is raising kids, not prepping the 6pm martini for when their husband gets home? If a woman stays home and has no kids, I think that's a housewife. But housewife sounds dismissive of the work that goes into a SAHM's day -- she's not just doing the ironing thinking of how to please her husband.

-WOH


+1


But what about when kids leave for college or basically barely see mom because they have their own lives and our at school most days?
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2017 08:26     Subject: Re:Housewife vs SAHM
Anonymous wrote:

I respectfully disagree. After my kids go off to school, I'm still doing a lot of things that benefit my kids directly, although they are not with me. I may be volunteering in their school, grocery shopping, getting rid of the outgrown clothes and toys in their closets, mowing the lawn, taking the car to the garage for an oil change, picking up dry cleaning, taking the grandparents to doctor appointments, fixing random broken things around the house or searching for lost items, picking up books that have been reserved at the library, planning weekend outings/play dates or family vacations, taking pets to the vet, gardening ...
Both stay at home mom and housewife are misnomers. I'm hardly ever home. We need new terminology. Maybe "family manager"?


No. How about "a mother with non-adult children at home who does not have paid employment and is not currently looking for paid employment"?