Anonymous
08/09/2017 09:20
Subject: Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
Anonymous wrote:A judge is letting you FORGO child support with a disabled child? Huh? That judge needs to be taken off the bench.
Do NOT forgo child support. Period. Moving the kids is FAR better than your emotional decision to put them at HUGE financial risk for the rest of their childhood.
Her ex doesn't make any money, so the child support is a moot point.
Anonymous
08/09/2017 09:19
Subject: Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
A judge is letting you FORGO child support with a disabled child? Huh? That judge needs to be taken off the bench.
Do NOT forgo child support. Period. Moving the kids is FAR better than your emotional decision to put them at HUGE financial risk for the rest of their childhood.
Do NOT forgo child support. Period. Moving the kids is FAR better than your emotional decision to put them at HUGE financial risk for the rest of their childhood.
Anonymous
08/09/2017 09:16
Subject: Re:Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
I have some good suggestions here thanks.
To the PP who asked what kind of hospitalizations, he has epilepsy as well as a mental health disorder in conjunction with his autism. I am able to bring him to work because I am working for an old friend in a private setting with the agreement that I can bring my child if I need to.
I know the circumstances are a bit out there but it is all the absolute truth. The situation with DH was even more volatile then I lead on. When I went into hiding and before he even knew I had gotten an order of protection, he tried to kill himself, because he couldn't find the kids and I. He called me and told me he ODed and where he was. I hung up with him and called an ambulance right away. Saving his life.
Given everything he has put me through with the divorce, I sometimes wish he didn't call me.
To the PP who asked what kind of hospitalizations, he has epilepsy as well as a mental health disorder in conjunction with his autism. I am able to bring him to work because I am working for an old friend in a private setting with the agreement that I can bring my child if I need to.
I know the circumstances are a bit out there but it is all the absolute truth. The situation with DH was even more volatile then I lead on. When I went into hiding and before he even knew I had gotten an order of protection, he tried to kill himself, because he couldn't find the kids and I. He called me and told me he ODed and where he was. I hung up with him and called an ambulance right away. Saving his life.
Given everything he has put me through with the divorce, I sometimes wish he didn't call me.
Anonymous
08/09/2017 06:51
Subject: Re:Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
Anonymous wrote:I appreciate all the suggestions. My house is mine, free and clear, DH's name is off the deed. If I am struggling to put away $330/month for taxes so selling and moving to somewhere where rent is $800 doesn't help much. The house can be portioned off and rented out, I suppose, but it will take money I don't have. It did have an apartment before so there are two meters, which helps.
I also have some livestock that feed us and one boarder who pays for the livestock instead of rent. Which is huge.
The kid is autistic and explosive and part of the reason we moved to the middle of nowhere. City life was not for him. He can't handle crowds and noise and has thrived raising animals and running through the fields.
I have applied for SIS but was denied.
What hospitalizations does he require then? And how are you able to bring him to your job?
Anonymous
08/09/2017 06:27
Subject: Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
If I had a disabled child I would want to live in the best school district with the best support services...even if that meant renting a little apartment.
Anonymous
08/09/2017 02:06
Subject: Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
This is very tough OP. If you can't qualify for government assistance, do you have family that might be willing to help? Renting with an autistic child where you have to work and spend money to make it rentable is more money you don't have. It is something people with money fail to understand, in order to earn money by renting you need to spend money, and since you say you are in a middle of nowhere, it is not easy to find a single renter who would take a room and share a bathroom. Though, trying won't hurt either.
Anonymous
08/09/2017 00:39
Subject: Re:Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
Anonymous wrote:I appreciate all the suggestions. My house is mine, free and clear, DH's name is off the deed. If I am struggling to put away $330/month for taxes so selling and moving to somewhere where rent is $800 doesn't help much. The house can be portioned off and rented out, I suppose, but it will take money I don't have. It did have an apartment before so there are two meters, which helps.
I also have some livestock that feed us and one boarder who pays for the livestock instead of rent. Which is huge.
The kid is autistic and explosive and part of the reason we moved to the middle of nowhere. City life was not for him. He can't handle crowds and noise and has thrived raising animals and running through the fields.
I have applied for SIS but was denied.
Why are you making renting more complicated than it needs to be? (By saying you need to spend money?) You just need to get roommates or tenants. You don't need separate meters. Or separate quarters. Share your kitchen if you have to for now. Build your partitions when you have the money.
Anonymous
08/08/2017 22:48
Subject: Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
It makes no sense to take a reverse mortgage or to sell given her housing costs.
You need to file for child support so it is documented - when he works it will go retroactive. Usually one cannot waive child support.
You need to file for medicaid, food stamps, utility assistance, child care, WIC if kids are little.
You need to rent out rooms in your house and if necessary get rid of the live stock. You should easily get food stamps on that income.
If your child is severely impacted by autism and most likely will not be able to function, you need to hire an attorney to get disability for that child. Attorney's charge a portion of the money you get, so you don't pay upfront. If your child is very high functioning, get a child care voucher and get a better paying job.
You need to file for child support so it is documented - when he works it will go retroactive. Usually one cannot waive child support.
You need to file for medicaid, food stamps, utility assistance, child care, WIC if kids are little.
You need to rent out rooms in your house and if necessary get rid of the live stock. You should easily get food stamps on that income.
If your child is severely impacted by autism and most likely will not be able to function, you need to hire an attorney to get disability for that child. Attorney's charge a portion of the money you get, so you don't pay upfront. If your child is very high functioning, get a child care voucher and get a better paying job.
Anonymous
08/08/2017 22:40
Subject: Re:Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
Anonymous wrote:Apply to lower your taxes in your county.
They do that for low income folks, have you ask?
+1. You need to contact people in your local government and explain your situation. Most websites have a section on available resources.
Anonymous
08/08/2017 22:29
Subject: Re:Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:But you own the house without debt, you could take out a mortgage (reverse mortgage) and free up some of that equity to pay off your monthly necessities. But yeah, selling the house and moving and renting/buying something more affordable would probably be the better option long-term if you don't expect your salary to increase or costs to decline in a few years.
That's exactly how senior citizens get conned out of paid off homes.
OP isn't an 85 year old with Alzheimer's. There's nothing wrong with the reverse mortgage instrument, just the financial terms people agree to. op could get a home equity loan if that makes you feel better, but that's technically fraud if she's not doing improvements.
Anonymous
08/08/2017 22:07
Subject: Re:Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
Apply to lower your taxes in your county.
They do that for low income folks, have you ask?
They do that for low income folks, have you ask?
Anonymous
08/08/2017 21:26
Subject: Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
House cleaning? You could do it in the evening or weekend. Yard work? Helping people declutter or get organized?
Anonymous
08/08/2017 20:53
Subject: Re:Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
I just had another idea. Since you have a farmhouse, do you have a barn or stable? Could you provide housing for someone's horse?!
Anonymous
08/08/2017 20:40
Subject: Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have you spoken to your DH? I would hope he'd help you instead of letting his kids get thrown out onto the street.
Cash out refinance? But you said your credit isn't great.
Dog sitting? Dog walking? My friend gets $40 a dog a day to watch them. It's very easy cash.
Your electric bill is $300? Can't you cut any of that?
The delivery charges for the electric far exceed the charges for the amounts used.
Living in farm country there isn't a need for dog walking but maybe dog sitting is a good idea.
DH, soon to be Ex-DH, doesn't care about the kids, or I. He went four years without working and just growing more and more bitter as the days past. He threatened to kill me and I have an order of protection as a result. He left the state to live with a relative and I haven't heard much from him in nearly a year. Except in regards to our divorce and the kids, he isn't allowed to contact me. I have sole physical and legal custody. He gets whatever is left of his savings and gets to just walk away.
Refinancing or selling really aren't an option. Not just because I can't do that to the kids but because I do have some livestock and a garden. I sell eggs and such but they don't make a killing as the area is saturated with fresh eggs. What I paid $5 for in DC, I sell for $2 here. Taxes are high and my biggest concern.
Also, if I mortgaged the house that would mean I would have to insure it, which I can't afford to do at this point. That means painting (peeling paint) and repairing all 4 porches. I kinda bought a 200 year old farmhouse, a giant one, that needed a ton of work. It cost next to nothing, which was good, but it is still a work in progress.
Can you rent a large portion of your property to a farmer for him to plant his vegetables? Write a simple contract, signed by both you and farmer who rents.
A giant farmhouse - can you rent out a big room to someone? This is probably very doable!
Anonymous
08/08/2017 16:46
Subject: Re:Struggling to stay afloat. What can I do?
Anonymous wrote:I will apply again because the reason I was denied was because I have $1,000 in the bank.
Yes, apply again and make sure to clear any accounts with money. If you do get the SSI checks you need to make sure to take out the money every month, or else it will mean you're living the high life because you're not immediately spending all the money you have. Any savings must be hidden at home.