I'm sorry, OP. This is a challenge with FB. I think that this means FB isn't for you. There are other resources on line that provide the same type of support with a bit more privacy. I suggest you do some googling. I used to belong to one for a specific cancer and I know that such groups can be lifesaving.

Anonymous wrote:Blocking SIL won't stop her from reading OPs post in the groups. Anyone can see those posts.

You should confront her and ask her what the heck she is doing by joining your groups.

What are you talking about, of course it does!
You're perpetuating lies )... I know this for a fact.

If she blocks her SIL, she blocks her EVERYWHERE on Facebook.
If her SIL tries to look her up by name, NOTHING will show up for her, nothing, nowhere, not even a picture, NADA.

Once she is blocked, there is absolutely NOWHERE that her SIL can find her or her posts on Facebook, not even groups.

If you are simply members of the same group you will be invisible to each other, only admins can see blocked outsole in their groups.

Look. It. Up.

* OP, if you're that concerned I'd take the good advice others have given you & create a fake account associated with a new email address you create (not in your name) & don't friend anyone that you two have in common.

If you report her for stalking, Facebook will require proof before moving forward with any action besides blocking.

Good luck

If your goal in avoiding confrontation, I'm with the others that say withdraw from the groups and rejoin later under an assumed name. I'd love to learn if she withdraws from the groups too!

Regardless of what you do be careful around this person.

Blocking SIL won't stop her from reading OPs post in the groups. Anyone can see those posts.

You should confront her and ask her what the heck she is doing by joining your groups.

If you block her then she can't sant see what you post in groups. That's why admins in groups say it's against the rules to block them and if you do then you'll get kicked out of the group.

For the future, you can make it so your groups are private. You can also choose not to share things with her or with any of your inlaws in your privacy settings. They will still be able to look on your fb but it will just look like you don't post much.

I still haven't read anything from OP that makes me think her SIL has nefarious intentions.
Sometimes people don't go out of their way to help because they don't know how.

However if you feel uncomfortable, then do set up another account.

Did she possibly join those groups to get a better sense of your experiences and what you're going through? It's still intrusive but maybe not meant to harass?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd still block her. Or change the settings so she is still your 'friend' but can't really see much of anything.

I think that just blocks her from my profile. She can still see what I post in groups.

That's not true. I had some people block me (we were members of same group) and I don't see anything from them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd still block her. Or change the settings so she is still your 'friend' but can't really see much of anything.

I think that just blocks her from my profile. She can still see what I post in groups.

If you block her she can't see ANYTHING you post ANYWHERE. Not on your profile, not in these groups, she won't be able to find you anywhere on Facebook.

To her, its like you're not on Facebook at all & if you were having a conversation with a mutual friend of yours & SIL (let's call her Sally) on a post on Sally's Facebook page, it would literally look to your SIL like Sally was talking to herself, lol.

You can report her to FB for stalking you.

To do this, click on her name. It will take you to her wall. Just under her profile photo, there is a button in the lower right that is [...] (the dots). Click on that and the select "Report". One of the options is "This person is annoying me." and you can report that she is stalking you on FB. You can say that she is a relative who does not have any of the conditions you have, but is joining groups that you join to harass you. Most likely this will get her account closed. You can request that they not inform her who reported her, but they can close the account for inappropriate behavior. She will not know that it was you who reported her.

I would feel violated too. Personally, I would delete & block SIL, plus every single person connected to her, and I'd PM the organizers of the groups explaining that your SIL has not had relevant experiences and has no business joining but has joined only to embarrass and harass you online, and asking them to remove & block her from the group.

Don't make anything you're doing a secret, expect that people will tell her. Who cares about discord in DH's family. It was the SIL who caused the discord, by snooping around in your life and trying to read your diary in a sense. That's a pretty sick person. Try to ignore her. DH is another issue altogether. If he doesn't support you, tell him you want to do marriage counseling.

And then comment all you want in the groups. It's important that you have support.

If the groups wouldn't kick her out, I'd probably post something on her public wall: "SIL, I see that you joined the traumatic birth experiences group a few days after I did. I wasn't aware that you had any traumatic birth experiences. It certainly would have helped me a lot when I was struggling with the fallout of mine to hear that you went through it too. And of course I would have been happy to support you! It's great that you're reaching out online to get support though. Which birth was it?"

I absolutely would not be starting any anonymous accounts just because of one girl.

Anonymous wrote:Make a new FB profile associated with a new free email address. Make it so that publicly, you cannot be recognized. Leave the groups in your original FB account. Join them in your new FB account. Block everyone connected with SIL in your new FB account.

This. Excellent advice.

This happened to me too. I felt violated bc some of those online communities felt like the only place I could just write and reflect on my own feelings and experiences. I needed the audience without feeling like i was revealing private information and making myself vulnerable to hateful people. I lost that thanks too some pretty cruel stalkers, and I've never been able to regain it.

The plus side is that I've worked harder to be more honest and open in my real world relationships and to cultivate more supportive friendships. It's been good for me in that sense, but the pain of the violation is still there. I'm sorry you have to go through it too.

Make a new FB profile associated with a new free email address. Make it so that publicly, you cannot be recognized. Leave the groups in your original FB account. Join them in your new FB account. Block everyone connected with SIL in your new FB account.