That's wonderful. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

First step would be a DNA test. Then upload the raw data to GEDmatch.com as well since they have a huge data base. You can then sort out maybe what common last names are showing up in the dna matches. Additionally getting someone to do a DNA test from the fathers side will allow you to triangulate the dna to see which are related on dad's side and on mom's side.

How do you do this if you got your test done through another group, such as 23andme?

NP. You can connect your 23andme profile to gedmatch.

First step would be a DNA test. Then upload the raw data to GEDmatch.com as well since they have a huge data base. You can then sort out maybe what common last names are showing up in the dna matches. Additionally getting someone to do a DNA test from the fathers side will allow you to triangulate the dna to see which are related on dad's side and on mom's side.

How do you do this if you got your test done through another group, such as 23andme?

Sounds like your step mother knew all along...

Wonderful story OP, please keep us informed when you get back!

Kind of a personal question... so your mom cheated on your dad then? Or was she already pregnant when they got together?

Great short story, OP! I'm sure it will sell well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to get my DH to find his birth mother. I wish it would work out like this but I know it doesn't always.

If he doesn't want to do it. Leave it be.

This. It isn't your choice. It is your DH's choice and his alone. This is none of your business.

Who the heck really cares about a "family" that really isn't a family. A sperm donor and his offspring are irrelevant imho.

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to get my DH to find his birth mother. I wish it would work out like this but I know it doesn't always.

If he doesn't want to do it. Leave it be.

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to get my DH to find his birth mother. I wish it would work out like this but I know it doesn't always.

First step would be a DNA test. Then upload the raw data to GEDmatch.com as well since they have a huge data base. You can then sort out maybe what common last names are showing up in the dna matches. Additionally getting someone to do a DNA test from the fathers side will allow you to triangulate the dna to see which are related on dad's side and on mom's side.

I'm trying to get my DH to find his birth mother. I wish it would work out like this but I know it doesn't always.

Anonymous wrote:Did your Bio dad have lots of women?

Otherwise I'm not seeing how you can show up at the reunion looking like everyone and his wife not be suspicious.

Also, don't bring Starbucks. Everyone has Starbucks.

LOL first question I cannot answer. From everything I hear he was very doting on his wife. People bring friends to the reunion and pretty much everyone there knows about this, so it's not really an issue. Their mom will not be there as she is not well (Alzheimers). Good point on the Starbucks. They're everywhere. But I can get the stuff that only the Pike Place Starbucks has. We have a neat shop near Pike Place Market that is called "Simply Seattle." They even have space needle noodles. I've ordered some Washington wines to be sent for delivery the morning that we arrive. My daughter and I are going to rent a car from Los Angeles, head down to the beach that I grew up near, visit my childhood neighborhood then head down from there! Might as well make a time of it.

Did your Bio dad have lots of women?

Otherwise I'm not seeing how you can show up at the reunion looking like everyone and his wife not be suspicious.

Also, don't bring Starbucks. Everyone has Starbucks.

If there were more time, I might Shutterfly some small photo books with maybe 3-8 photos of you and your immediate family. Since you don't, maybe find some photos and print them out, then put them in those small photo albums. I think photos of the long lost sibling and her family would be a nice intro gift. Then take the pulse of the group and think about if the relationship is right and whether there is anything that strikes you as appropriate to give them in the future. Kind of like visiting with someone and rather than bringing a hostess gift when you arrive, send something after you leave as a token of your appreciation based on what you know after staying with them.

Anonymous wrote:Bring them something from this area. I like to give food. Cookies from that old bakery in Baltimore (tehhy sell them in Giant.. German name.. I forgot.. red bags in the bakery section) for example. Old Bay Utz potato chips (only available around here). Local chocolates.

Ok, Starbucks coffee and Theo chocolates it is! Thank you! That's a great idea.