Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just put your baby in daycare, and when your mom is in town, keep baby home to hang out with mom? That way, your mom can spend time with baby when she is in town, but you aren't screwed looking for backup coverage if she is supposed to come when you don't have nanny coming, and then something comes up and she can't.

I think this is a great solution. You never know when your mother might get sick, or her flight might get cancelled, or after sometime she may find that the travel is too much.

When your mother is out of town DC just doesn't go to day care.

The other option is to find a nanny who is OK with house work and errands. One week she is full time with DC the next she cleans, cooks, does laundry, grocery shopping etc.

This. Just be completely up front about it in your job posting and interview. If your mom will be staying with you, there will be extra housework and you'll appreciate it. I also strongly suspect that your mom will cut back to one week a month really quickly...because the whole idea is kind of nuts.

We don't have nearly as frequent grandparent visits, but we have enough that we discussed in detail what would happen when they were visiting. Kids' nanny gets along great with everyone, has often taken my mom grocery shopping, and at this point I don't even need to discuss things with her...she goes out of her way to prepare the guest room etc for visits and forces me to sit down and plan meals ahead etc

Asking your nanny to do your housework just sreams low class.

Well, fine if you think that. But our nanny is experienced, highly paid (on the books), and we are pretty well-off even by DCUM standards. We even offered to pay for her community college classes, but she got a state grant. Our DS has some delays, and she diligently does his PT exercises and comes with us to his medical appointments.

I wouldn't ask a nanny to actually clean (I have a paid service for that), but laundry, dishes, meal planning, and grocery shopping are pretty common tasks for a nanny to take on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just put your baby in daycare, and when your mom is in town, keep baby home to hang out with mom? That way, your mom can spend time with baby when she is in town, but you aren't screwed looking for backup coverage if she is supposed to come when you don't have nanny coming, and then something comes up and she can't.

I think this is a great solution. You never know when your mother might get sick, or her flight might get cancelled, or after sometime she may find that the travel is too much.

When your mother is out of town DC just doesn't go to day care.

The other option is to find a nanny who is OK with house work and errands. One week she is full time with DC the next she cleans, cooks, does laundry, grocery shopping etc.

This. Just be completely up front about it in your job posting and interview. If your mom will be staying with you, there will be extra housework and you'll appreciate it. I also strongly suspect that your mom will cut back to one week a month really quickly...because the whole idea is kind of nuts.

We don't have nearly as frequent grandparent visits, but we have enough that we discussed in detail what would happen when they were visiting. Kids' nanny gets along great with everyone, has often taken my mom grocery shopping, and at this point I don't even need to discuss things with her...she goes out of her way to prepare the guest room etc for visits and forces me to sit down and plan meals ahead etc

Asking your nanny to do your housework just sreams low class.

Well, fine if you think that. But our nanny is experienced, highly paid (on the books), and we are pretty well-off even by DCUM standards. We even offered to pay for her community college classes, but she got a state grant. Our DS has some delays, and she diligently does his PT exercises and comes with us to his medical appointments.

I wouldn't ask a nanny to actually clean (I have a paid service for that), but laundry, dishes, meal planning, and grocery shopping are pretty common tasks for a nanny to take on.

I don't just think it honey, it is low class.
People with actual money have a cook/chef and a housekeeper and a nanny.

I would call a college student who has done some babysitting and maybe worked in daycare a highly qualified nanny.

It seems you are striving to be high class but are not b/c a true high class person would never refer to something as low class nor would they call someone 'honey'. It simply isn't proper.
Also based on your comment anyone without a chef, housekeeper and a nanny is low class. This is simply ridiculous.

The main point is that OP would need to clearly advertise what she is looking for in an employee. In this case it would be part-time child care and part time house-hold tasks. They person who takes such a job needs to be OK with the job requirements.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just put your baby in daycare, and when your mom is in town, keep baby home to hang out with mom? That way, your mom can spend time with baby when she is in town, but you aren't screwed looking for backup coverage if she is supposed to come when you don't have nanny coming, and then something comes up and she can't.

I think this is a great solution. You never know when your mother might get sick, or her flight might get cancelled, or after sometime she may find that the travel is too much.

When your mother is out of town DC just doesn't go to day care.

The other option is to find a nanny who is OK with house work and errands. One week she is full time with DC the next she cleans, cooks, does laundry, grocery shopping etc.

This. Just be completely up front about it in your job posting and interview. If your mom will be staying with you, there will be extra housework and you'll appreciate it. I also strongly suspect that your mom will cut back to one week a month really quickly...because the whole idea is kind of nuts.

We don't have nearly as frequent grandparent visits, but we have enough that we discussed in detail what would happen when they were visiting. Kids' nanny gets along great with everyone, has often taken my mom grocery shopping, and at this point I don't even need to discuss things with her...she goes out of her way to prepare the guest room etc for visits and forces me to sit down and plan meals ahead etc

Asking your nanny to do your housework just sreams low class.

Well, fine if you think that. But our nanny is experienced, highly paid (on the books), and we are pretty well-off even by DCUM standards. We even offered to pay for her community college classes, but she got a state grant. Our DS has some delays, and she diligently does his PT exercises and comes with us to his medical appointments.

I wouldn't ask a nanny to actually clean (I have a paid service for that), but laundry, dishes, meal planning, and grocery shopping are pretty common tasks for a nanny to take on.

I don't just think it honey, it is low class.
People with actual money have a cook/chef and a housekeeper and a nanny.

I would call a college student who has done some babysitting and maybe worked in daycare a highly qualified nanny.

It seems you are striving to be high class but are not b/c a true high class person would never refer to something as low class nor would they call someone 'honey'. It simply isn't proper.
Also based on your comment anyone without a chef, housekeeper and a nanny is low class. This is simply ridiculous.

The main point is that OP would need to clearly advertise what she is looking for in an employee. In this case it would be part-time child care and part time house-hold tasks. They person who takes such a job needs to be OK with the job requirements.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just put your baby in daycare, and when your mom is in town, keep baby home to hang out with mom? That way, your mom can spend time with baby when she is in town, but you aren't screwed looking for backup coverage if she is supposed to come when you don't have nanny coming, and then something comes up and she can't.

I think this is a great solution. You never know when your mother might get sick, or her flight might get cancelled, or after sometime she may find that the travel is too much.

When your mother is out of town DC just doesn't go to day care.

The other option is to find a nanny who is OK with house work and errands. One week she is full time with DC the next she cleans, cooks, does laundry, grocery shopping etc.

This. Just be completely up front about it in your job posting and interview. If your mom will be staying with you, there will be extra housework and you'll appreciate it. I also strongly suspect that your mom will cut back to one week a month really quickly...because the whole idea is kind of nuts.

We don't have nearly as frequent grandparent visits, but we have enough that we discussed in detail what would happen when they were visiting. Kids' nanny gets along great with everyone, has often taken my mom grocery shopping, and at this point I don't even need to discuss things with her...she goes out of her way to prepare the guest room etc for visits and forces me to sit down and plan meals ahead etc

Asking your nanny to do your housework just sreams low class.

Well, fine if you think that. But our nanny is experienced, highly paid (on the books), and we are pretty well-off even by DCUM standards. We even offered to pay for her community college classes, but she got a state grant. Our DS has some delays, and she diligently does his PT exercises and comes with us to his medical appointments.

I wouldn't ask a nanny to actually clean (I have a paid service for that), but laundry, dishes, meal planning, and grocery shopping are pretty common tasks for a nanny to take on.

I don't just think it honey, it is low class.
People with actual money have a cook/chef and a housekeeper and a nanny.

I would call a college student who has done some babysitting and maybe worked in daycare a highly qualified nanny.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a stay at home mom who also babysits on the side. I would take this job. One week on one off would work for me!

Also my friend flew her mother in for childcare. It was cheaper than a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just put your baby in daycare, and when your mom is in town, keep baby home to hang out with mom? That way, your mom can spend time with baby when she is in town, but you aren't screwed looking for backup coverage if she is supposed to come when you don't have nanny coming, and then something comes up and she can't.

I think this is a great solution. You never know when your mother might get sick, or her flight might get cancelled, or after sometime she may find that the travel is too much.

When your mother is out of town DC just doesn't go to day care.

The other option is to find a nanny who is OK with house work and errands. One week she is full time with DC the next she cleans, cooks, does laundry, grocery shopping etc.

This. Just be completely up front about it in your job posting and interview. If your mom will be staying with you, there will be extra housework and you'll appreciate it. I also strongly suspect that your mom will cut back to one week a month really quickly...because the whole idea is kind of nuts.

We don't have nearly as frequent grandparent visits, but we have enough that we discussed in detail what would happen when they were visiting. Kids' nanny gets along great with everyone, has often taken my mom grocery shopping, and at this point I don't even need to discuss things with her...she goes out of her way to prepare the guest room etc for visits and forces me to sit down and plan meals ahead etc

Asking your nanny to do your housework just sreams low class.

Well, fine if you think that. But our nanny is experienced, highly paid (on the books), and we are pretty well-off even by DCUM standards. We even offered to pay for her community college classes, but she got a state grant. Our DS has some delays, and she diligently does his PT exercises and comes with us to his medical appointments.

I wouldn't ask a nanny to actually clean (I have a paid service for that), but laundry, dishes, meal planning, and grocery shopping are pretty common tasks for a nanny to take on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just put your baby in daycare, and when your mom is in town, keep baby home to hang out with mom? That way, your mom can spend time with baby when she is in town, but you aren't screwed looking for backup coverage if she is supposed to come when you don't have nanny coming, and then something comes up and she can't.

I think this is a great solution. You never know when your mother might get sick, or her flight might get cancelled, or after sometime she may find that the travel is too much.

When your mother is out of town DC just doesn't go to day care.

The other option is to find a nanny who is OK with house work and errands. One week she is full time with DC the next she cleans, cooks, does laundry, grocery shopping etc.

This. Just be completely up front about it in your job posting and interview. If your mom will be staying with you, there will be extra housework and you'll appreciate it. I also strongly suspect that your mom will cut back to one week a month really quickly...because the whole idea is kind of nuts.

We don't have nearly as frequent grandparent visits, but we have enough that we discussed in detail what would happen when they were visiting. Kids' nanny gets along great with everyone, has often taken my mom grocery shopping, and at this point I don't even need to discuss things with her...she goes out of her way to prepare the guest room etc for visits and forces me to sit down and plan meals ahead etc

Asking your nanny to do your housework just sreams low class.

Anonymous wrote:Why not just put your baby in daycare, and when your mom is in town, keep baby home to hang out with mom? That way, your mom can spend time with baby when she is in town, but you aren't screwed looking for backup coverage if she is supposed to come when you don't have nanny coming, and then something comes up and she can't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just put your baby in daycare, and when your mom is in town, keep baby home to hang out with mom? That way, your mom can spend time with baby when she is in town, but you aren't screwed looking for backup coverage if she is supposed to come when you don't have nanny coming, and then something comes up and she can't.

I think this is a great solution. You never know when your mother might get sick, or her flight might get cancelled, or after sometime she may find that the travel is too much.

When your mother is out of town DC just doesn't go to day care.

The other option is to find a nanny who is OK with house work and errands. One week she is full time with DC the next she cleans, cooks, does laundry, grocery shopping etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my mom was the same. She wanted to watch my baby, but on her non-standard schedule. It actually got to be a serious problem. Against my better judgment (and because she was pressuring me so much), I went with her proposal and found very-hard-to-find intermittent but good childcare, but when the reality of caring for a baby hit, she ended up coming up with all sorts of conflicts. Of course, she didn't like to admit it, and so would actually cancel at the very last minute, leaving me without backup plans. Finally, after a several week stretch in which she canceled or altered the schedule 50% of the days that she had previously committed to, I found reliable weekly childcare. It was a scramble, too, because finding good care you trust takes time. All in all, it caused enormous stress that I don't think my mom ever even realized. My life was much better when I told my mom it wasn't working, and that she could continue to spend time with DS but that I was arranging for regular care. All in all, I blame myself in a lot of respects because I knew she was being overly optimistic and had unrealistic expectations of how it would work, but she was so adamant that I gave in, which I shouldn't have done.

I would not start with a schedule that involves logistical difficulties like this. Plane flights get canceled, and the reality of traveling every other week is going to be difficult. If this is your first baby, having that hanging over you will be incredibly stressful.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My parents live in Florida, not ready to move up this way yet, but my mom doesn't want to miss out on a relationship with her granddaughter especially since DH's family is local ( Maryland).

Mom is retired so she figures she can fly up here a week at a time get to know the baby.

I know it sounds crazy, but this is important to her and I want my daughter to know her grandmother too,

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My parents live in Florida, not ready to move up this way yet, but my mom doesn't want to miss out on a relationship with her granddaughter especially since DH's family is local ( Maryland).

Mom is retired so she figures she can fly up here a week at a time get to know the baby.

I know it sounds crazy, but this is important to her and I want my daughter to know her grandmother too,