Anonymous
07/20/2017 09:06
Subject: Re:More drama w/ alcoholic BIL
This is going to sound cold. But if your husband loses his job over missed work/responsibilities that could be catastrophic for you. Loss of income, insurance and stability. And guess what? BIL and In Laws, not coming to your rescue. So, someone else needs to step in/help. I say this as someone whose SO had a serious medical condition during one of my most demanding career times and I did all sorts of work from ERs. waiting rooms and hospitals. It would do no one any good for me to be out of work at that time.
Anonymous
07/19/2017 18:29
Subject: More drama w/ alcoholic BIL
I see lot's of recommends for Al Anon so I am just going to add my two cents...absolutely a good idea for your DH, and you too OP, to attend a minimum of 6 meetings. Get literature as well. Best to ya!
Anonymous
07/19/2017 17:34
Subject: More drama w/ alcoholic BIL
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:5 times in 2 years is a lot. I have a BIL who is also a recovering alcoholic. My DH only had to rescue him once, including a stay at the hospital. Can't imagine 5 times!
I would lovingly tell your husband that he is being an enabler and if something does not change, one day his brother is not going to make it to the hospital.
He needs to tell the brother that his assistance comes with a price of admitting he has a problem and getting in treatment. If treatment is too expensive (although some do take insurance as a pp mentioned) insist on daily AA meetings. Maybe your DH can go with him if that's advisable. I don't know.
I am sorry OP this is really a tough situation.
I agree completely. Maybe DH's parents know this and don't want to enable BIL any longer. How many times is DH going to sit by his side through this? And he claims there is no problem? This is enabling.
DH's parents are asking DH to sit by BIL's side and "make sure he doesn't drink," according to OP's later post. So they are pushing DH to enable BIL. Which can't be helping DH's guilt and stress.
I'm glad DH told FIL no this time, and that you'll both go to Al-Anon. Those are both really helpful steps.