Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 21:36     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
My Dad had a 'secret recipe' for homemade mac and cheese which he would share with the grandkids with great pride and pomp. One year I made big magnets with the recipe scanned on it for everyone in the family's refrigerators: it was a well used recipe cut straight off the back of a pasta box. It was sweet that we all had the same thing and it became kind of a well loved family tradition (as I can print up for any one joining family!) Dad never hid that it wasn't original - just never mentioned it so was only thrilled to see it become a family 'heirloom.' Now my mother's apple pie was no secret but try as I might watching everything she does - I can never make it like she does and she truly makes the best apple pie ever
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 21:33     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I take it as a huge compliment and freely share my recipes with others. If it is a recipe I got from a friend or relative, I make sure to say "this is my Aunt Susan's cherry pie," and I let Aunt Susan know that someone else loved it enough to ask for the recipe.

Food is meant to be loved and shared. If you don't have a spirit of generosity, love and warmth when you cook, you aren't the best cook you could be.



Food is for nourishment.


If that's true, we would never eat desserts. It would be "functional food" only.

Have you never had people bring you food after a loved one died? They weren't just delivering you calories, you know. They were nurturing your spirit as much as your body.


Yes I have. But I can't agree that it was given for that reason. Most people do it to be helpful and to take one less thing off the person's plate. Don't get me wrong, I'm a foodie. So I absolutely love food. But I think it's a stretch to say one doesn't have a spirit of generosity, love and warmth when they cook simply because they refuse to share a recipe and that food is meant to be loved and shared. Ultimately food is nourishment. Loving and sharing are nice. But not necessary for food to serve its purpose.


What kinds of recipes do people usually ask for, though? Not kale salads or everyday ham sandwiches or steamed broccoli. They ask for pies, cakes, brownies and other baked goods; amazing dips for Superbowl parties; famous pasta salad or potato salad that is a staple of every Fourth of July; homemade jellies and jams, those kinds of special things.

No one asks for the recipe for scrambled eggs and toast.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 21:32     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:It's one of those things where I would just shrug and then roll my eyes when they aren't looking. If someone asked me for a recipe, I'd be flattered and give it to them (or tell them where I got it from).

But at the same time, I refuse to loan out any of my books any more. Not quite the same a recipes, since they're actual physical things, but I got burned by people not returning books too many times.


Are these "your recipes" you feel free to give out, or a book recipe? Both? I'm just wondering. I like the idea of having special meals myself where people come to my house go get my special Mac And cheese or my husband's ribs with his secret BBQ sauce. Dh and I definitely aren't selfish, but I'll admit it makes me feel good to be able to make these foods special for my family and friends. I'm not keen on giving up my secret recipes just yet.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 21:27     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I take it as a huge compliment and freely share my recipes with others. If it is a recipe I got from a friend or relative, I make sure to say "this is my Aunt Susan's cherry pie," and I let Aunt Susan know that someone else loved it enough to ask for the recipe.

Food is meant to be loved and shared. If you don't have a spirit of generosity, love and warmth when you cook, you aren't the best cook you could be.



Food is for nourishment.


If that's true, we would never eat desserts. It would be "functional food" only.

Have you never had people bring you food after a loved one died? They weren't just delivering you calories, you know. They were nurturing your spirit as much as your body.


Yes I have. But I can't agree that it was given for that reason. Most people do it to be helpful and to take one less thing off the person's plate. Don't get me wrong, I'm a foodie. So I absolutely love food. But I think it's a stretch to say one doesn't have a spirit of generosity, love and warmth when they cook simply because they refuse to share a recipe and that food is meant to be loved and shared. Ultimately food is nourishment. Loving and sharing are nice. But not necessary for food to serve its purpose.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 20:44     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I take it as a huge compliment and freely share my recipes with others. If it is a recipe I got from a friend or relative, I make sure to say "this is my Aunt Susan's cherry pie," and I let Aunt Susan know that someone else loved it enough to ask for the recipe.

Food is meant to be loved and shared. If you don't have a spirit of generosity, love and warmth when you cook, you aren't the best cook you could be.



Food is for nourishment.


If that's true, we would never eat desserts. It would be "functional food" only.

Have you never had people bring you food after a loved one died? They weren't just delivering you calories, you know. They were nurturing your spirit as much as your body.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 20:33     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I find that so silly. I'm a very accomplished cook and people regularly ask me for recipes. I share freely. Number one, why wouldn't I want for my friends to be able to make what they loved? And number two...for people who want to be exclusive...that's complete BS. Listen and take it from someone who worked in commercial kitchens. I can give you a complete, step-by-step recipe from the best chefs in the business. And you can follow it religiously. Guess what?? You aren't going to end up with the same thing! You don't cut things the same way, you don't hold your knife the same way, the concept of "well done" means different things to you, your sense of seasoning is not the same, your style, your judgment, your taste is not the same, and your eye and skill is not the same. This is why no one will be able to recreate your recipe completely! So why bother with this ridiculous hoarding, I don't know. Share good food and enjoy.


I would say baking may be a bit different. Most recipes come out the and if you do exactly what the recipe says.


Baking is closer but not quite. What if you forget the sift the flour? When the recipe says, beat egg whites until stiff, what does "stiff" mean to you? Ovens vary so very violently with hotspots and whatnot. Maybe you open the door too many times to check and the cake deflates. Maybe you overbeat the batter. Maybe your vanilla extract is too chemical tasting. So many variables. I would say that baking is even harder because with baking, there is no opportunity to course-correct once the thing is poured and in the oven.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 20:12     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:My MIL is like this. But I don't like that I once asked her how to make something my DH has liked since childhood and she wouldn't tell me. For her own son.


Ridiculous. I would love my recipes to last longer than I will.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 19:55     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
It's one of those things where I would just shrug and then roll my eyes when they aren't looking. If someone asked me for a recipe, I'd be flattered and give it to them (or tell them where I got it from).

But at the same time, I refuse to loan out any of my books any more. Not quite the same a recipes, since they're actual physical things, but I got burned by people not returning books too many times.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 19:54     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:My MIL is like this. But I don't like that I once asked her how to make something my DH has liked since childhood and she wouldn't tell me. For her own son.


I would experiment until my version was his preferred. Oh, he likes mom's secret pecan pie? Now wife makes a version adapted from southern living (good place to start) with bourbon caramel sauce... Etc.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 19:52     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:I take it as a huge compliment and freely share my recipes with others. If it is a recipe I got from a friend or relative, I make sure to say "this is my Aunt Susan's cherry pie," and I let Aunt Susan know that someone else loved it enough to ask for the recipe.

Food is meant to be loved and shared. If you don't have a spirit of generosity, love and warmth when you cook, you aren't the best cook you could be.



Food is for nourishment.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 19:48     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
I take it as a huge compliment and freely share my recipes with others. If it is a recipe I got from a friend or relative, I make sure to say "this is my Aunt Susan's cherry pie," and I let Aunt Susan know that someone else loved it enough to ask for the recipe.

Food is meant to be loved and shared. If you don't have a spirit of generosity, love and warmth when you cook, you aren't the best cook you could be.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 19:22     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
Anonymous wrote:My aunt will give a recipe but tell you ONE thing totally wrong so yours won't come out as well as hers.

I think it's ridiculous.


My mom is like this too. There's always a measurement that she "just can't quite remember," or a pinch of something that she forgets to write down. But HER version always turns out perfect. LOL.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 19:16     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
I kind of hate when people ask for recipes. I consider it bad etiquette.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 18:14     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
We have a chef friend who didn't want to share "his" recipe.

His wife gave it to me instead.

Two of dh's grandma's recipes ended up in a church cookbook. She had given them to a granddaughter a few years before, the granddaughter shared them as her own.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2017 18:02     Subject: Not wanting to share recipes
I've never had someone refuse to give me a recipe, they're more likely to say they don't have a recipe for it or they modeled off of something else. If someone refused to give me a recipe I'd assume it was because they stole it from Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart and don't want anyone to know.