I would have no issue with my parents pulling the kids out of camp for a random day here and there. I'd be sure it wasn't a special field trip day or another special camp day. But in the grand scheme of things, kids will have endless days of camp over the course of their childhoods. Memories of fun outings with grandparents will last a lifetime.

I grew up with grandparents who lived 45 minutes away. We had dinner together once a week until my grandpa didn't feel comfortable driving at night, and then we had Sunday morning brunch every weekend. My entire childhood.

I don't know how far your parents live from you, but maybe if it's regular thing, you can plan for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what does Grandma's custody order state?

Oh, right, she doesn't have one.

I just don't understand why it's so hard to just be kind to their grandmother. Yeah, maybe she's annoying but why does it always have to be so me, me, me, I do t have to consider anyone, I do what I want, her opinion doesn't matter? Why can't people just be kind without keeping score?

She offered her Tuesday. Sees them on the weekend. Grandma is being whiny.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm sorry I asked lol Grandma isn't happy because after camp "isn't enough time" for her to plan something fun. And "they'd be tired". Basically, yes. She's whining.

Kids aren't overscheduled, they just like camp (thankfully, because they are going!) and they like their chosen activities. When they come home from camp, they love making calls and finding out who is playing where. It's summer! They are out having fun! (They are both old enough to get on bikes and cruise the neighborhood like we did when we were young.) And like I said, I DO make ample time for grandparents, I think. I believe a weekend a month and a couple days sprinkled in between us plenty fair.

Remind your mom that situations change as the kids get older! Peers get more and more important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what does Grandma's custody order state?

Oh, right, she doesn't have one.

I just don't understand why it's so hard to just be kind to their grandmother. Yeah, maybe she's annoying but why does it always have to be so me, me, me, I do t have to consider anyone, I do what I want, her opinion doesn't matter? Why can't people just be kind without keeping score?

Per the OP, they do "weekend at the grandparents" with each set monthly, as well and dinner monthly, and additional random visits. There is plenty of time being spent with grandma. The kids are hardly overscheduled with a half-day camp and playdates. Grandma sounds like she prefers to be spontaneous and doesn't want to have to plan ahead and would want the grandkids to be ready at a moment's notice. That just doesn't work for most people. I'm pretty spontaneous myself and that wouldn't work for me either.

Anonymous wrote:Well, what does Grandma's custody order state?

Oh, right, she doesn't have one.

I just don't understand why it's so hard to just be kind to their grandmother. Yeah, maybe she's annoying but why does it always have to be so me, me, me, I do t have to consider anyone, I do what I want, her opinion doesn't matter? Why can't people just be kind without keeping score?

Well, what does Grandma's custody order state?

Oh, right, she doesn't have one.

Anonymous wrote:You have overbooked your kids and it is wrong. Grandpa and access is irrelevant, but she is right in that kids should not have that many activities. Boredom is the king of best inventions and stimulates great minds. Let them be bored, stop micromanaging and being insane. Plus you will save money and they might sleep more and end up taller. You sound not like a helicopter mom, but a drone mom!

I tend to agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You are in the wrong, OP.

The mistake is not communicating with your mother about summer plans before you signed them up for camps and activities.

You can remedy this now, and nix some playdates so that they can see their Grandmother if she doesn't live too far away.
If these are the low-intensity camps, you can even declare a couple of days in July and August "playing hooky" and have your kids spend the whole day at Grandma's! Not so much if the kids are in targeted one week camps with a performance at the end.

Have you been on a vacation with the grandparents? You could all go somewhere for one week.

In short, this is a planning error on your part, with the underlying issue that you didn't prioritize Grandma time. She won't be around for very long, you know.

WTActualF? Plans don't need to be cleared with the grandparents.

+1

PP is probably some annoying grandparent with zero sense of boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:
You are in the wrong, OP.

The mistake is not communicating with your mother about summer plans before you signed them up for camps and activities.

You can remedy this now, and nix some playdates so that they can see their Grandmother if she doesn't live too far away.
If these are the low-intensity camps, you can even declare a couple of days in July and August "playing hooky" and have your kids spend the whole day at Grandma's! Not so much if the kids are in targeted one week camps with a performance at the end.

Have you been on a vacation with the grandparents? You could all go somewhere for one week.

In short, this is a planning error on your part, with the underlying issue that you didn't prioritize Grandma time. She won't be around for very long, you know.

WTActualF? Plans don't need to be cleared with the grandparents.

Anonymous wrote:
You are in the wrong, OP.

The mistake is not communicating with your mother about summer plans before you signed them up for camps and activities.

You can remedy this now, and nix some playdates so that they can see their Grandmother if she doesn't live too far away.
If these are the low-intensity camps, you can even declare a couple of days in July and August "playing hooky" and have your kids spend the whole day at Grandma's! Not so much if the kids are in targeted one week camps with a performance at the end.

Have you been on a vacation with the grandparents? You could all go somewhere for one week.

In short, this is a planning error on your part, with the underlying issue that you didn't prioritize Grandma time. She won't be around for very long, you know.

Ohh HELL NO. Grandma is NOT entitled to access to the kids at her demand. That is absurd! Grandma didn't get priority because it's not about her. Give me a break with that crap, it's not like these kids never see her. You sound like one of these entitled grandparents yourself.

OP I don't think you're doing anything wrong, in fact you're being nicer about it than I would be. Grandma doesn't dictate your schedule or your children's. End of story. If she doesn't like the ample time you're offering, too bad so sad. You couldn't pay me to go on vacation for a week with either set of grandparents. And I have a good relationship with both. MIL lives with us (and has pulled some of this crap, complaining about DC being in daycare while I work from home). My parents live on the west coast and are free to visit when they want as long as our schedules permit. They are fine with that.

Your mother is being a jerk.

Can she take them on the weekend or a weekend day more than your usual visits? If camp is over at 12 or 1, why does she refuse to plan something then? They could go an activity sndxdhe can drop them off after dinner. Why is she focused on Tuesdays in particular?

You are in the wrong, OP.

The mistake is not communicating with your mother about summer plans before you signed them up for camps and activities.

You can remedy this now, and nix some playdates so that they can see their Grandmother if she doesn't live too far away.
If these are the low-intensity camps, you can even declare a couple of days in July and August "playing hooky" and have your kids spend the whole day at Grandma's! Not so much if the kids are in targeted one week camps with a performance at the end.

Have you been on a vacation with the grandparents? You could all go somewhere for one week.

In short, this is a planning error on your part, with the underlying issue that you didn't prioritize Grandma time. She won't be around for very long, you know.

That seems really strange. We ask my parents (who live around 20 minutes away) what times they have their own stuff going on so that we can know in planning our summer camps. But we don't plan the kids' summer around spending time with my parents. My parents have their own lives and their own hobbies and activities. They are not just sitting around waiting for the kids to come over.

Rather than a week, ask her if there's a day she'd like to take them and if they agree, let her take them that one day.

Anonymous wrote:PP again - I'm only now seeing Grandma refuses to see them in the afternoon.

OK, she's wrong too.

Next year, sit down with her with the schedule and say, when would you like a week with them?

+1

Let her host Grandma Camp next summer.