So you've had oral sex with her on 2 occasions?
OP, is your name Bill Clinton by any chance???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you physically affectionate in other ways? Do you tell her how attracted you are to her? No reason you can't show interest while respecting her wishes.

Op here. We are very affectionate with kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and some oral sex. I have made moved to go further but she stops me or says no. Obviously will not push her once she says no. I am going to have a talk to her tonight on whee this is headed and the level of intimacy I need.

I don't consider that nothing, OP. I atually think that's a pretty fair balance of things considering where you are in your relationship.

I don't think your conversation is a good idea, or maybe it is so she can see you are not so different from her ex. You aren't really respecting her boundaries at all, she's shown you what she's willing to give right now, if she were ready for more you wouldn't have to try any moves, she'd let you know. Yet you keep pushing. You aren't as much of a gentleman as you seem to think you are

Also you don't get a medal for not pushing her when she says no further. That's what you're supposed to do.

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that oral sex means no sex to you.

+1

Apparently "no sex" means "we had sex twice"

Just admit you want to try her out , OP and see if she's any good.

I'm surprised that oral sex means no sex to you.

Anonymous wrote:I would sleep with someone else while waiting for her to be ready.

Who says she isn't?

Anonymous wrote:If she's already weaponizing sex in the relationship, it's just going to get worse.

Aw, someone who doesn't know what the word "weaponizing" means.

If she's already weaponizing sex in the relationship, it's just going to get worse.

If she's worth it, like you said in your OP, you wait it out. She told you why she's waiting and it's obviously something she feels strongly about. you're going to screw this up if you give her the "I have needs" talk. It's only been two months and she's still hooking up in pretty major ways with you while waiting so it's not like she's totally withholding.

Anonymous wrote:I would sleep with someone else while waiting for her to be ready.

Completely agree

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone hops in the sack that quickly. Two months is how many dates? 10 or fewer? If I want to get off, I take care of it myself while I'm figuring out who this guy is. So can he, BTW. I have to trust him to the point where my own body insecurities don't matter to me at all. If I'm not there yet I can't enjoy it. I feel like I'm just a blow up doll who's just along for him to get off.

Exactly.

Is she at least giving you BJ's?

Is she at least giving you BJ's?

Not everyone hops in the sack that quickly. Two months is how many dates? 10 or fewer? If I want to get off, I take care of it myself while I'm figuring out who this guy is. So can he, BTW. I have to trust him to the point where my own body insecurities don't matter to me at all. If I'm not there yet I can't enjoy it. I feel like I'm just a blow up doll who's just along for him to get off.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she shouldn't date at all and do some therapy to heal from her past relationship. She wants an emotional connection first but is willing to do oral now? Makes no sense to me.

I can respect her desire to want to make sure there's a connection before sex, but I'm also leery of people who effectively punish their current significant others over something done by their exes.