Of course. We started allowing a glass of wine or a beer sometime around 16 or 17. I have four college grads. None have ever had problems with alcohol. I think it's because it was never off-limits at home.

How will they learn to drink responsibly if they don't start at home with me under my watchful eye???

But then we're French, not American.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started allowing our children to drink during trips to Europe. Waiters would bring wine glasses for children when there were as young as 14 or 15. I think it helped demystify alcohol and made drinking a glass of wine with a meal very enjoyable for them. I think a drinking age of 21 is insanely puritanical and causes many unintended consequences not the least of which is binge drinking on college campuses.

I wish we would put this pervasive "BUT IN EUROPE!!!" myth to rest. Europeans have among the highest binge drinking/alcoholism rates in the world, including among teens.

If you want to serve your kid alcohol that's fine, but don't act like there's even a hint of data suggesting it is beneficial. In fact, the research is crystal clear that age one started drinking and binge drinking rates are very much inversely correlated.

Exactly! The research is actually pretty clear on this, but for some reason, this myth that letting your kids drink alcohol in your presence makes them less likely to binge drink with friends remains...

Yes, a small amount from 16 onward, as much as they want from 18 onward.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely, in my presence and assuming we're in one of the many states where that is legal.

Most likely, in my presence or with specified family members I trust in our own property or rented accommodation regardless of legalities, although I would only admit that anonymously.

This is not legal anywhere in the continental U.S.

It most certainly is. If you're going to post legal information in a way that implies certainty as to whether something is legal, it may help to provide supporting evidence. You appear to be incorrect; in fact, many states specifically have exceptions in their underage drinking laws to allow for parents to permit consumption of alcohol by their own minor child (in this case under age 21) in their presence. The specifics vary by state, but it is categorically false to claim that drinking as I described in the first sentence of my post is illegal in all of the continental U.S. states.

Legal citations/primary sources in brackets [example].
Secondary sources linked.

"The minimum purchase and drinking ages is a state law, and most states still permit "underage" consumption of alcohol in some circumstances. In some states, no restriction on private consumption is made, while in others, consumption is only allowed in specific locations, in the presence of consenting and supervising family members "
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Minimum_Drinking_Age_Act

The 1984 National Minimum Drinking Age Act, [23 U.S.C. § 158], requires that States prohibit persons under 21 years of age from purchasing or publicly possessing alcoholic beverages as a condition of receiving State highway funds. A Federal regulation that interprets the Act excludes from the definition of "public possession," possession "for an established religious purpose; when accompanied by a parent, spouse or legal guardian age 21 or older; for medical purposes when prescribed or administered by a licensed physician, pharmacist, dentist, nurse, hospital or medical institution; in private clubs or establishments; or to the sale, handling, transport, or service in dispensing of any alcoholic beverage pursuant to lawful employment of a person under the age of twenty-one years by a duly licensed manufacturer, wholesaler, or retailer of alcoholic beverages." [23 C.F.R. § 1208.3] (bolding mine for emphasis of relevant parts)
https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/Underage_Possession_Consumption_Internal_Possession_of_Alcohol.html

As just one example, at home in Maryland it is legal for the parent, guardian, or spouse age 21+ of someone under age 21 to permit that individual to consume alcohol. [Crim. Law § 10-117(c)(1) beginning October 1, 2002, and Md. Ann. Code 1957 art. 27, § 401A(c)(1) prior to October 1, 2002]
https://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/State_Profiles_of_Underage_Drinking_Laws.html

Anonymous wrote:I come from a military family where we lived in Europe starting when I was 12. I was served wine at dinners with Italian and other foreign officers....not a lot..but a small glass. It taught me to what sort of wines I liked and I learned how to pair wines with food. I then went on to live in Belgium for four years and learned about beer. These have been life skills for me going forward. I will certainly teaching my children about wine and beer.

Side note: did you live at SHAPE? I've met some people who lived there as teens (15+ years ago) and they said it was wild!

Anonymous wrote:I let my 15 year old have a bit here and there. In a lot of cultures, this is how it is done. In my Italian family, wine was just part of a meal. It was available, though I never really cared for it.

Just typed my response. I remember thinking "I'm never going to want to have a whole glass of this" when I would have a sip here and there as a 13 or 14 year old. Which is funny, because my grandparents (and even my own parents until later) just drink really crap wine- so that didn't help!

Yes, but I come from an immigrant family and alcohol was simply not taboo- mostly a beer or glass of wine with a BIG ass meal on Sundays so more for the taste or refreshment than anything else. I think it makes a difference too that no one in my family has had a drinking problem, so we don't have that sort of lens to analyze this through. I think that might make a huge difference.

I also think the drinking age should be 18, but that's just me.

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely, in my presence and assuming we're in one of the many states where that is legal.

Most likely, in my presence or with specified family members I trust in our own property or rented accommodation regardless of legalities, although I would only admit that anonymously.

This is not legal anywhere in the continental U.S.

I wouldn't take the action. I wouldn't pour the drink. I figure they drink at college and would rather drink with their friends anyway. I'm in Virginia, I doubt the law is the same. But I am so against the 21 year law though. It is absolutely ridiculous.

I'll let my 19 year old have a glass of wine or a beer/cider if there is some occasion (holiday, family in town), but it's not a regular thing. I'm not going to pretend that she never drinks at college or never drank at all in HS.

Anonymous wrote:If your at home or on vacation and there's NO chance of your college age kids (under 21) driving, would you ever allow them to have a beer, glass of wine or such? I'm just talking a single drink, not getting drunk.

Ha! I grew up in Wisconsin where there is no legal drinking age (minors can be served in a bar with parents present) Yes, I've allowed my college age children to have a drink or two at home when there is no chance of them leaving the house. I will not allow other peoples kids to drink however

Anonymous wrote:Nope

21+ is when they can have a drink and especially in my presence.

Yeah, your kids were probably already drunk as you typed this.

I let my 15 year old have a bit here and there. In a lot of cultures, this is how it is done. In my Italian family, wine was just part of a meal. It was available, though I never really cared for it.

My own children? They can have alcohol WAY before college.