Anonymous
06/16/2017 10:08
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney and there isn't a day that goes by when I don't wish that I had gone to culinary school instead. I wish that I had been your daughter and realized that that's what I wanted at 16 rather than at 36, when it was way, way too late.
a.) People often find that when they try to turn their passions into paying work, it ruins their love for the hobby
b.) you probably make a lot more money as an attorney which affords you nice things that you wouldn't have as a caterer or chef, such as vacations. It's a really hard industry to make an UMC living from.
This is just sad to read. I would never ever say this to a child. Getting to a "UMC living" through a corporate soul crushing job might be worth to some, some even forget that life outside of work exists. Those mediocre engineers, analysts, attorneys, that went into the field purely to earn a living are often miserable.
You're being very unrealistic. Say this girl wants to stay in the DC area. Do you know how hard it would be to save up a DP to buy an apartment or a house on a part time caterer/part time dance teacher salary? We're talking paycheck to paycheck existence here.
I don't fault the OP for wanting better than that for her daughter.
OK, so OP sits down with OP's 16-year-old daughter and says, "Honey, I want you to have an upper-middle-class income when you grow up -- defined as, enough to buy property in a neighborhood in Montgomery County with "good schools" -- so you need to major in science in college, and you shouldn't go into catering or dance."
Do you think that sounds ludicrous? I do.
I don't. I wish my parents had known enough to have that talk with me (history major).
I plan to have it with my children when they are older. We make a very nice living and will be able to help them somewhat as adults but if they want to have the lifestyle they enjoy now with a nice house in an expensive area, several vacations a year, college savings and expensive extracurricular activities for any kids they might have, they'll have to get a job that pays more than catering.
I have a feeling the OP has a nice lifestyle now if the daughter is such a serious dancer that she auditioned for a competitive school in NYC. They must spend a lot on dance classes.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 10:03
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney and there isn't a day that goes by when I don't wish that I had gone to culinary school instead. I wish that I had been your daughter and realized that that's what I wanted at 16 rather than at 36, when it was way, way too late.
a.) People often find that when they try to turn their passions into paying work, it ruins their love for the hobby
b.) you probably make a lot more money as an attorney which affords you nice things that you wouldn't have as a caterer or chef, such as vacations. It's a really hard industry to make an UMC living from.
This is just sad to read. I would never ever say this to a child. Getting to a "UMC living" through a corporate soul crushing job might be worth to some, some even forget that life outside of work exists. Those mediocre engineers, analysts, attorneys, that went into the field purely to earn a living are often miserable.
You're being very unrealistic. Say this girl wants to stay in the DC area. Do you know how hard it would be to save up a DP to buy an apartment or a house on a part time caterer/part time dance teacher salary? We're talking paycheck to paycheck existence here.
I don't fault the OP for wanting better than that for her daughter.
OK, so OP sits down with OP's 16-year-old daughter and says, "Honey, I want you to have an upper-middle-class income when you grow up -- defined as, enough to buy property in a neighborhood in Montgomery County with "good schools" -- so you need to major in science in college, and you shouldn't go into catering or dance."
Do you think that sounds ludicrous? I do.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:55
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:I would disagree. I have several high school friends from my low COL hometown in upstate NY. One manages a successful hotel, one owns several pizza restaurants, another owns a Zumba studio, one is a firefighter. All of them have big beautiful homes in wonderful school districts, easy commutes and family close by. Yes they often work weekends but so do their peers. I feel they are much more successful than me with multiple degrees, modest home and hour commute.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Catering? Teaching dance?
I'm amazed at all the responses saying she should pursue these things. You know how much caterers and dance teachers make? She'll probably never break 75k in those combined endeavors and that'll be with her working ALL the time, including at night and on weekends when people throw typically parties.
The restaurant business in particular sucks. There is a reason why people who work in it often develop alcohol and drug problems. It's hard to go to work when mostly everyone else is relaxing.
Funny coming from a board where people complain about not having enough money on 300k HHI.
+ 1
Speaking from personal experiences, these are the types of creative but flexible gigs best pursued by rich kids. If you're not rich, you'll have to *really* hustle to make a decent living and even then a lot of it will just depend on right time/rich place kind of luck. The PP is correct in thinking that if she's only making the median income and doesn't become a famous chef with multiple restaurants and cookbooks (which is like wanting to become an actor, it's very competitive), she probably won't break 75k. It's a career that is best pursued by kids whose parents can continue to subsidize them through adulthood with hefty down payments or even outright buying them a house, buying them a car, paying for them to take really nice family vacations, etc. so they still get to travel some.
If you can't afford to do these things for an adult child, OP, I would sit your daughter down and give her a serious talk about finances and how much money she is like to make as a part time caterer, part time dance teacher and what lifestyle that will afford her (probably not as nice as the one she grew up with).
They're in Upstate NY. So maybe your friend was the first person to open a Zumba studio up there and it caught on. That's the type of "right place/right time" luck I was speaking of and you can't count on that in life. If it happens to you, great but most likely, it won't.
60% of new hospitality endeavors, such as restaurants, fail in the first year. That is just reality. It is very very difficult to make an UMC living in this industry.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:51
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
I would disagree. I have several high school friends from my low COL hometown in upstate NY. One manages a successful hotel, one owns several pizza restaurants, another owns a Zumba studio, one is a firefighter. All of them have big beautiful homes in wonderful school districts, easy commutes and family close by. Yes they often work weekends but so do their peers. I feel they are much more successful than me with multiple degrees, modest home and hour commute.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Catering? Teaching dance?
I'm amazed at all the responses saying she should pursue these things. You know how much caterers and dance teachers make? She'll probably never break 75k in those combined endeavors and that'll be with her working ALL the time, including at night and on weekends when people throw typically parties.
The restaurant business in particular sucks. There is a reason why people who work in it often develop alcohol and drug problems. It's hard to go to work when mostly everyone else is relaxing.
Funny coming from a board where people complain about not having enough money on 300k HHI.
+ 1
Speaking from personal experiences, these are the types of creative but flexible gigs best pursued by rich kids. If you're not rich, you'll have to *really* hustle to make a decent living and even then a lot of it will just depend on right time/rich place kind of luck. The PP is correct in thinking that if she's only making the median income and doesn't become a famous chef with multiple restaurants and cookbooks (which is like wanting to become an actor, it's very competitive), she probably won't break 75k. It's a career that is best pursued by kids whose parents can continue to subsidize them through adulthood with hefty down payments or even outright buying them a house, buying them a car, paying for them to take really nice family vacations, etc. so they still get to travel some.
If you can't afford to do these things for an adult child, OP, I would sit your daughter down and give her a serious talk about finances and how much money she is like to make as a part time caterer, part time dance teacher and what lifestyle that will afford her (probably not as nice as the one she grew up with).
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:51
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney and there isn't a day that goes by when I don't wish that I had gone to culinary school instead. I wish that I had been your daughter and realized that that's what I wanted at 16 rather than at 36, when it was way, way too late.
a.) People often find that when they try to turn their passions into paying work, it ruins their love for the hobby
b.) you probably make a lot more money as an attorney which affords you nice things that you wouldn't have as a caterer or chef, such as vacations. It's a really hard industry to make an UMC living from.
This is just sad to read. I would never ever say this to a child. Getting to a "UMC living" through a corporate soul crushing job might be worth to some, some even forget that life outside of work exists. Those mediocre engineers, analysts, attorneys, that went into the field purely to earn a living are often miserable.
You're being very unrealistic. Say this girl wants to stay in the DC area. Do you know how hard it would be to save up a DP to buy an apartment or a house on a part time caterer/part time dance teacher salary? We're talking paycheck to paycheck existence here.
I don't fault the OP for wanting better than that for her daughter.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:48
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney and there isn't a day that goes by when I don't wish that I had gone to culinary school instead. I wish that I had been your daughter and realized that that's what I wanted at 16 rather than at 36, when it was way, way too late.
a.) People often find that when they try to turn their passions into paying work, it ruins their love for the hobby
b.) you probably make a lot more money as an attorney which affords you nice things that you wouldn't have as a caterer or chef, such as vacations. It's a really hard industry to make an UMC living from.
This is just sad to read. I would never ever say this to a child. Getting to a "UMC living" through a corporate soul crushing job might be worth to some, some even forget that life outside of work exists. Those mediocre engineers, analysts, attorneys, that went into the field purely to earn a living are often miserable.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:39
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
OP do you have the kind of money to invest in a future business for her? A catering company or a restaurant? That is often how these people get started. They have rich parents who give them the seed money to get started.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:38
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney and there isn't a day that goes by when I don't wish that I had gone to culinary school instead. I wish that I had been your daughter and realized that that's what I wanted at 16 rather than at 36, when it was way, way too late.
a.) People often find that when they try to turn their passions into paying work, it ruins their love for the hobby
b.) you probably make a lot more money as an attorney which affords you nice things that you wouldn't have as a caterer or chef, such as vacations. It's a really hard industry to make an UMC living from.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:36
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:Catering? Teaching dance?
I'm amazed at all the responses saying she should pursue these things. You know how much caterers and dance teachers make? She'll probably never break 75k in those combined endeavors and that'll be with her working ALL the time, including at night and on weekends when people throw typically parties.
The restaurant business in particular sucks. There is a reason why people who work in it often develop alcohol and drug problems. It's hard to go to work when mostly everyone else is relaxing.
Funny coming from a board where people complain about not having enough money on 300k HHI.
+ 1
Speaking from personal experiences, these are the types of creative but flexible gigs best pursued by rich kids. If you're not rich, you'll have to *really* hustle to make a decent living and even then a lot of it will just depend on right time/rich place kind of luck. The PP is correct in thinking that if she's only making the median income and doesn't become a famous chef with multiple restaurants and cookbooks (which is like wanting to become an actor, it's very competitive), she probably won't break 75k. It's a career that is best pursued by kids whose parents can continue to subsidize them through adulthood with hefty down payments or even outright buying them a house, buying them a car, paying for them to take really nice family vacations, etc. so they still get to travel some.
If you can't afford to do these things for an adult child, OP, I would sit your daughter down and give her a serious talk about finances and how much money she is like to make as a part time caterer, part time dance teacher and what lifestyle that will afford her (probably not as nice as the one she grew up with).
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:33
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
For the business side of both the dance and catering world, she should take some accounting/business courses. You could also see if she has any interest in nutritional science courses - those would also be helpful for both dancers and catering.
Maybe she could work to develop meals for dancers?
Maybe she could work to develop meals for dancers?
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:32
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Well, we 're also the same people who complain that our parents have no boundaries, so we naturally feel for the OP's daughter.
She probably won't be a dance teacher or a caterer. But she's 16. It's too late to turn her into someone who loves STEM, so we're encouraging OP to talk to her daughter, accepting her for who she is, and realize that the girl is 16 years old and can be steered into something else.
If the restaurant business is as bad as you say, won't working as a caterer one summer in college convince her to try something else?
She probably won't be a dance teacher or a caterer. But she's 16. It's too late to turn her into someone who loves STEM, so we're encouraging OP to talk to her daughter, accepting her for who she is, and realize that the girl is 16 years old and can be steered into something else.
If the restaurant business is as bad as you say, won't working as a caterer one summer in college convince her to try something else?
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:31
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
I'm an attorney and there isn't a day that goes by when I don't wish that I had gone to culinary school instead. I wish that I had been your daughter and realized that that's what I wanted at 16 rather than at 36, when it was way, way too late.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:28
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Catering? Teaching dance?
I'm amazed at all the responses saying she should pursue these things. You know how much caterers and dance teachers make? She'll probably never break 75k in those combined endeavors and that'll be with her working ALL the time, including at night and on weekends when people throw typically parties.
The restaurant business in particular sucks. There is a reason why people who work in it often develop alcohol and drug problems. It's hard to go to work when mostly everyone else is relaxing.
Funny coming from a board where people complain about not having enough money on 300k HHI.
I'm amazed at all the responses saying she should pursue these things. You know how much caterers and dance teachers make? She'll probably never break 75k in those combined endeavors and that'll be with her working ALL the time, including at night and on weekends when people throw typically parties.
The restaurant business in particular sucks. There is a reason why people who work in it often develop alcohol and drug problems. It's hard to go to work when mostly everyone else is relaxing.
Funny coming from a board where people complain about not having enough money on 300k HHI.
Anonymous
06/16/2017 09:24
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OMG op she has plans, good ones. At least she doesn't want to be a ballerina or a broadway dancer. That would be risky.
That was her original plan, but she gave up on that when she got rejected from a dance company in New York.
The fact she endured the dance company's rejection, rethought how to use her dance skills, and came up with her new plan shows that she is resilient and realistic. So why can't you see that?
You seem to have a narrow concept of how she can make a living. Please try to be glad you have teen who, instead of being crushed and defeated by being rejected for a dream job, found another way to apply her interests to the working world. Support her by encouraging business classes, further dance training, and serious culinary training.
She is old enough that if you push for her to force a fake interest in science just to please you or just to get you to pay for college...you will alienate her, maybe for life. And she will not keep employment long in science if she studies it only to please you; employers will know her mind isn't really on the job.
Her career plan is not a silly pie-in-the-sky notion. Is she in FCPS? Does she know FCPS has a culinary academy program where she could start working on those skills in high school? Search the FCPS web site using the term Marshall Academy and find "culinary arts" on the academy page. FCPS lets students travel during the school day to high schools that offer academy classes if their own base school does not. So.. Certainly the schools think catering is a real career option. So do colleges that offer degrees in hospitality industry, culinary arts, dance education....This summer, have her research jobs and salaries in catering and dance education; have her research colleges and outline the career path in these fields, etc. Let her see that you'll take her goals seriously if she will seriously research them and make plans on how to spend her last year's of HS.
Please back her up. She will do better and go farther if she knows you are not silently thinking she's wrong and should change her fundamental interests and strengths.
She's in MCPS.
I'm this PP. OP, is that all you got from this post? She's not in FCPS so...never mind the rest?
Have you checked your own area for culinary programs? Do you even consider working with her to maybe find a summer program at a MoCo community college or cooking school, or a summer job with a catering firm, so she can get a taste of that reality? Has she met with her high school's college and career counselor to talk about her plans or would you discourage her from doing that? Are you truly not open to researching with her and finding out objectively if she can make a living in anything but STEM?
--From a parent who works in a science field, married to a dad in the tech industry, with a rising junior DC who wants to go into an arts field. If anyone could push a DC toward science it should be us.
But have you heard the saying, "Parent the child you have, not the child you want"...?
Anonymous
06/15/2017 22:40
Subject: How can I get my child interested in a science major
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is she taking calc next year? Physics?
Calculus, yes, physics, no. She's taking chemistry.
So she is taking what she needs to major in anything she wants? Best bet is for you to be quiet now.