Anonymous
Post 06/11/2017 10:48     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Anonymous wrote:This was not physical -- only cyber.

Reconnected electronically with a HS GF; in HS, we went to third base, but no farther.

She was going through an ugly divorce, I was very unhappy in my marriage and life in general. She lived a several hundred miles from me. She did not have the money to travel, and I did not have the excuse to travel.

We sexted intensely. [i] My wife suspected something was up, and hacked into my iPad. She read the conversations.... things got ugly. As this discussion went further, I slowly realized this relationship is not going anywhere. She had become an evangelical Christian since HS whereas I am secular/atheist.

We broke off the conversations texted from 2012 to 2013. It took until 2014 until things settled down at home. I apologized, while making it clear that there was never an in-person relationship. I do not know if she believes me or not.


For how long? Was it a few times or over an extended period of time? Any "love" type messages or just sexual?

My take is that women will take the emotional type messages relaying affection/love/longing much harder than the x-rated stuff.

Anonymous
Post 06/11/2017 10:17     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Anonymous wrote:This was not physical -- only cyber.

Reconnected electronically with a HS GF; in HS, we went to third base, but no farther.

She was going through an ugly divorce, I was very unhappy in my marriage and life in general. She lived a several hundred miles from me. She did not have the money to travel, and I did not have the excuse to travel.

We sexted intensely. My wife suspected something was up, and hacked into my iPad. She read the conversations.... things got ugly. As this discussion went further, I slowly realized this relationship is not going anywhere. She had become an evangelical Christian since HS whereas I am secular/atheist.

We broke off the conversations texted from 2012 to 2013. It took until 2014 until things settled down at home. I apologized, while making it clear that there was never an in-person relationship. I do not know if she believes me or not.


An evangelical Christian sexted at a marriage-threatening level?
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 18:58     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
My dad left my mom after 15 years of marriage for the editor of one of his books; I also happened to be the babysitter for her 2 year old son. I was 12 and they were family friends; she was married also. Quick divorces happened and my dad married her when I was 13. By my dad's description, they had a blissful ten years...until she stopped adoring him for being a powerful workaholic and he got frustrated that she no longer adored him. She started drinking, he worked more, we watched from the sidelines. They would have gotten divorced, but she got breast cancer and died at 43.

When he made chairman and my mom (who had remarried, happily) sent him flowers, he apologized for making "this mistake". I think it was merely a statement and not an overture. He's remarried now to someone much more levelheaded who my sister and I at least like.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 13:36     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Anonymous wrote:My college roommates DH left her for a woman half his age. Two months after divorce was final, roommate hit the lottery. Not like powerball rich, but a tidy $5 million after taxes. He flips out, starts sniffing around again, but roommate just laughed. He knocks up the girlfriend and they try suing my roommate to reopen the divorce and try to get money, which of course fails. Roommate is happy.


What an idiot. But it does remind me of a California case where a woman won $11 million, did not tell the husband, and got divorced. He found out later and got half because it was a marital asset. Lucky guy.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 13:32     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
My college roommates DH left her for a woman half his age. Two months after divorce was final, roommate hit the lottery. Not like powerball rich, but a tidy $5 million after taxes. He flips out, starts sniffing around again, but roommate just laughed. He knocks up the girlfriend and they try suing my roommate to reopen the divorce and try to get money, which of course fails. Roommate is happy.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 11:49     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Anonymous wrote:Mid-life crisis can usually be explained by a relationship that has been going downhill for many years. But why is it so often applied to men than women?


Only men have an irresponsible, juvenile, shameful "midlife crisis". Women have an epiphany where they realize they settled for an unworthy man who they didn't really love, and they leave him in a praiseworthy journey of self-discovery in which they find true love.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 11:43     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
OP, you're angry, you're hurt, you want him to pay. That's natural. But it is by no means guaranteed that he will pay. Sometimes, cheaters DO prosper.

Really what you should focus on is getting past it and living your life. You will know you have won when you are happy with where you are, and you are totally indifferent to what he's doing. It takes time, but you will get there.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 11:35     Subject: Re:Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
I work with a women who left her husband for someone who worked for her and he was married too. Turns out he was already cheating with someone else and dumped her. Lost a good husband, has four kids and has pretty much alienated everyone she works with. Now when she doesn't have the kids all she does is go out because she is floundering and wants to be wanted so badly. Any man who discovers her history runs. But she is easy So I guess she is now a "layover" for any man who gives her attention. Karma does exist.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 10:16     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Karma's not a real thing. Stalin died in his bed at the age of 74.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 10:03     Subject: Re:Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Hope to have a positive story soon. I can't believe he did this to our son.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 09:25     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Anonymous wrote:^^Plus, your ex honestly sounds like a tool. He left you for your daughter's Girl Scout leader? You can do so much better than him. Get really busy in your life. Take up some new hobby you enjoy. I know a woman whose husband of 30 years left. She took up hiking, lost 20 pounds, looks and feels amazing now and is loving her new life-- and she'd been happily married to him... Good luck to you!!


I will add that although the situation sucks, eventually the day comes when you realize that to think about him is a waste of energy and building the new you takes priority.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 09:16     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
^^Plus, your ex honestly sounds like a tool. He left you for your daughter's Girl Scout leader? You can do so much better than him. Get really busy in your life. Take up some new hobby you enjoy. I know a woman whose husband of 30 years left. She took up hiking, lost 20 pounds, looks and feels amazing now and is loving her new life-- and she'd been happily married to him... Good luck to you!!
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 09:11     Subject: Re:Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Anonymous wrote:OP here....how long should I give the relationshil to last? He tells a very basic story to everyone as to why he left, but the true story is getting around. Small social circle. I begged him not to date her when he left (I suspected she was the one). My child is only 8, so.she thinks they are just friends. It breaks my heart. This wpman was a good friend, who knew?


I'm so sorry this happened to you. For your own happiness and sanity, I wouldn't wait for the relationship to fail. I'd do everything I could to move on. Easier said than done but you will make yourself crazy if you just wait for that.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 09:09     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
Anonymous wrote:I know three men who did exactly this and are super happy now. The wives keeping saying they will regret it but Mary a one seems to.


Are we still drunk?
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2017 08:56     Subject: Mid-Life Affairs that Implode
I know three men who did exactly this and are super happy now. The wives keeping saying they will regret it but Mary a one seems to.