Anonymous
06/13/2017 08:00
Subject: Re:What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was surprised how quickly it went by! Hard to fathom that he's a quarter done with college already. Surprised how easy a transition it was and how little we heard from him. A bit surprised that he has a serious girlfriend....I thought it was more of a hook-up culture in college these days but what do I know. Mildly surprised how easy he found the coursework at a highly selective LAC. Definitely surprised that colleges no longer send report cards to the parents that are actually paying the bill.
I'm in my 50s, and my college didn't do that.
None of them did.
And paying your DC's way doesn't mean you own your DC, his/her experience, or the grades.
Anonymous
06/13/2017 08:00
Subject: Re:What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Anonymous wrote:I was surprised how quickly it went by! Hard to fathom that he's a quarter done with college already. Surprised how easy a transition it was and how little we heard from him. A bit surprised that he has a serious girlfriend....I thought it was more of a hook-up culture in college these days but what do I know. Mildly surprised how easy he found the coursework at a highly selective LAC. Definitely surprised that colleges no longer send report cards to the parents that are actually paying the bill.
I graduated from college in 1983, and colleges didn't send "report cards" (grades) back then either.
I don't see what paying the bill has to do with it.
Anonymous
06/13/2017 07:48
Subject: What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! Dd realized she was an alcoholic! We had warned her growing up about her genetic predisposition to addiction and therefore she hid her high level of drinking from me, not wanting to "worry" me. So I did not expect a call out of the blue from her announcing that she was an alcoholic. The school did a good job of working with her on a medical leave and giving her strict requirements about what she could be doing while taking the semester off. It took a lot of hard work and growing up but she made it through and is doing well today. My heart goes out to anyone who goes through this. We love our kids and we want what's best for them but it's so hard to not be able to make them do what we think is best! They have to learn by themselves how to grow up.
It feels weird to congratulate you on this, but I really liked hearing a story of someone who struggled with something huge and, with help, figured it out.
(I once dated a guy in AA, and I asked my brother how he felt about that. "Look, all the people I know who should join are still drinking, so it seems pretty great to me," he said. I'm reminded of Tallulah Bankhead's "I'd make the same mistakes sooner.")
Anonymous
06/13/2017 07:46
Subject: Re:What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Anonymous wrote:I was surprised how quickly it went by! Hard to fathom that he's a quarter done with college already. Surprised how easy a transition it was and how little we heard from him. A bit surprised that he has a serious girlfriend....I thought it was more of a hook-up culture in college these days but what do I know. Mildly surprised how easy he found the coursework at a highly selective LAC. Definitely surprised that colleges no longer send report cards to the parents that are actually paying the bill.
I'm in my 50s, and my college didn't do that.
Anonymous
06/13/2017 07:33
Subject: Re:What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Anonymous wrote:The first two weeks were hard. He had IT issues with the school's software. Called A LOT. It was stressful for all of us and we ended up just throwing a ton of money at the problem.
After that was settled it's been so awesome to see how much of a joiner he's been. Clubs, athletic stuff, he started a weekly hangout on his dorm floor.
Ditto on:
-spent wayyyy less money than I thought
-calling while walking and then getting rid of you quick when he ran into friends.
-he has been so proactive this summer about getting a job and being a pleasant and contributing member of the house. Does dishes!
Threw a table n of money at the problem?
Anonymous
06/13/2017 07:16
Subject: What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
That DC made the dean's list!
Anonymous
06/12/2017 18:20
Subject: Re:What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
The first two weeks were hard. He had IT issues with the school's software. Called A LOT. It was stressful for all of us and we ended up just throwing a ton of money at the problem.
After that was settled it's been so awesome to see how much of a joiner he's been. Clubs, athletic stuff, he started a weekly hangout on his dorm floor.
Ditto on:
-spent wayyyy less money than I thought
-calling while walking and then getting rid of you quick when he ran into friends.
-he has been so proactive this summer about getting a job and being a pleasant and contributing member of the house. Does dishes!
After that was settled it's been so awesome to see how much of a joiner he's been. Clubs, athletic stuff, he started a weekly hangout on his dorm floor.
Ditto on:
-spent wayyyy less money than I thought
-calling while walking and then getting rid of you quick when he ran into friends.
-he has been so proactive this summer about getting a job and being a pleasant and contributing member of the house. Does dishes!
Anonymous
06/12/2017 17:50
Subject: Re:What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
I was surprised how quickly it went by! Hard to fathom that he's a quarter done with college already. Surprised how easy a transition it was and how little we heard from him. A bit surprised that he has a serious girlfriend....I thought it was more of a hook-up culture in college these days but what do I know. Mildly surprised how easy he found the coursework at a highly selective LAC. Definitely surprised that colleges no longer send report cards to the parents that are actually paying the bill.
Anonymous
06/12/2017 16:40
Subject: What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Surprise was he actually did some laundry, not all of it, but most.
He also kept his spending under control to a point we had to tell him he could spend money on some fun things if he wanted,
He also kept his spending under control to a point we had to tell him he could spend money on some fun things if he wanted,
Anonymous
06/12/2017 13:41
Subject: Re:What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Thanks for OP who started this because our first is headed to college this fall and it's great to know that many parents were pleasantly surprised by their children and how great it all went. We have already seen a huge change in terms of maturity for our daughter over the past six months between finishing school, getting two summer jobs, working and coordinating her schedule etc so I'm excited to see how she embraces college.
Anonymous
06/12/2017 12:17
Subject: What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Ha ha! Dd realized she was an alcoholic! We had warned her growing up about her genetic predisposition to addiction and therefore she hid her high level of drinking from me, not wanting to "worry" me. So I did not expect a call out of the blue from her announcing that she was an alcoholic. The school did a good job of working with her on a medical leave and giving her strict requirements about what she could be doing while taking the semester off. It took a lot of hard work and growing up but she made it through and is doing well today. My heart goes out to anyone who goes through this. We love our kids and we want what's best for them but it's so hard to not be able to make them do what we think is best! They have to learn by themselves how to grow up.
Anonymous
06/12/2017 11:24
Subject: Re:What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
It seems that many students these days get along at college with a lot less "stuff" than previous decades. Also, like other parents mentioned, my student liked staying in touch with us via texts/video chats/phone calls/emails. It is interesting.
Anonymous
06/11/2017 13:39
Subject: What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They like to call as they walk across campus. To them it's just the right amount of time. They like to be seen on the phone, though if they run into friends, they will instantly hang-up on you.
+1. Same here
Agreed. I'm thankful that some of my DC's classes were on the other side of campus! Overall, great first year.
Anonymous
06/10/2017 20:57
Subject: What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
How much she grew up. High school was a train wreck. The differences in behavior and attitude are like night and day.
Anonymous
06/10/2017 20:45
Subject: What surprised you most about your DC's first year in college?
Anonymous wrote:They like to call as they walk across campus. To them it's just the right amount of time. They like to be seen on the phone, though if they run into friends, they will instantly hang-up on you.
+1. Same here