Your sister is crazy. Keep your distance.

Also, I don't think you know what melodrama means. Hint: it's not synonymous with drama.

I had a roommate that treated me like this. She was a very depressed and unhappy person. I eventually ended up cutting ties with her. They way your sister interacts with you is about her and her issues, not about you, and unless she works on herself she's always going to blame you for what are her core problems.

Anonymous wrote:My younger sister and I get along well. We've been working towards a good relationship (grew up in separate households) for awhile now. The one thing that bothers me is that I find her to be overly dramatic. For example, I'll think things are good, then out of the blue she'll send me a text like:

"Why do I not know where you live or have my nephew's phone number. I'm kind hearted and a good person even though I have my relationship problems, I'm trustworthy and thoughtful..so why?"

Bear in mind, I don't know where she lives or have her child's phone number either. We live in separate cities. I did not respond right away to this text, my youngest and I have had rotavirus. So, then she calls. I don't answer because I'm vomiting. She sends:

"Filed away"

then

"Could destroy a good person by ignoring them"

Help me here DCUM. I don't deal well with this stuff. Maybe I'm a bad person. But when I'm sick, or anytime, I don't really feel like dealing with someone who I view as melodramatic and looking for reasons that people have failed her. How do I deal with this?

Instead of just asking "Hey, sis, can I get your address and phone number?" she sent that text clearly blaming you for not thinking to give her your address/phone info.

That was a rude way of approaching you. I would have a hard time dealing with someone like that, too, tbh.

Your sister seems to have personality disorder issues. Anyone who regularly talks that way . . . .

I agree that you're going to have to accept a limited relationship with her because of her issues. You place the boundaries and work within them. Choose not to engage in her attempts to create drama. It's her dysfunction, not yours.

She's trying to get a reaction out of you with every single one of her texts. Don't give it to her. Don't respond with apologizing, explaining, etc. Give calm, short responses without a reaction to her passive-aggressive crap. Eventually she will get bored with trying to get drama out of you - I agree with PP that she might then look for excuses to end the relationship.

her: "Mad I missed your call since you never call me".
you: "I'll try calling you back in a bit."

her: "That's it?? Thought you would like the pictures more than that??"
you: "they're great pictures."

her: "Yeah but I want you to be stuck with me. Why haven't we ever spent a whole day together???"
you: "I'd love to make plans to hang out soon."

me: "Hey how's your day today?
her: "Okay. Text me back since you never do"
you: "Mine's going okay too. Fun plans for the weekend?"

Anonymous wrote:Re-evaluate what you want from this relationship. You will most likely never be close. That's ok. But these things have much less weight behind them if you aren't trying to please her so much.

Stop apologizing. It makes her think she was right to ding you for something that is normal. So if you find yourself writing "sorry we had rotavirus" edit that to just say "we had rotavirus".

Keep you responses cool and calm. Do not defend against every crazy "bad thing you've done" claim she throws out there, that gives them legitimacy.

Be ready for the fact that she will not like any of this and because of it, she might try to end the relationship.

This might be bordering on emotional abuse, not just annoying behavior. I'd do some reading so you're aware of the signs etc.

Solid advice. Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:Is she like 16 or something? What the hell? I would be backing away. I don't even know what you would say to try to talk to someone like that.

She's 30. Single. No kids.

Re-evaluate what you want from this relationship. You will most likely never be close. That's ok. But these things have much less weight behind them if you aren't trying to please her so much.

Stop apologizing. It makes her think she was right to ding you for something that is normal. So if you find yourself writing "sorry we had rotavirus" edit that to just say "we had rotavirus".

Keep you responses cool and calm. Do not defend against every crazy "bad thing you've done" claim she throws out there, that gives them legitimacy.

Be ready for the fact that she will not like any of this and because of it, she might try to end the relationship.

This might be bordering on emotional abuse, not just annoying behavior. I'd do some reading so you're aware of the signs etc.

Oops, sorry, didn't mean to post twice.

Is she like 16 or something? What the hell? I would be backing away. I don't even know what you would say to try to talk to someone like that.

Is she like 16 or something? What the hell? I would be backing away. I don't even know what you would say to try to talk to someone like that.

Hi guys, it's me, OP again. I'm checking in this thread again to vent. Here are some examples of her behavior since my last posting:

me: I call her, she doesn't respond for 3 days (which I am totally fine with btw)
her text: "Mad I missed your call since you never call me". (Keep in mind she still has never called back, just texts.)

her: Texts me a bunch of selfies of her in a row
me: "Cute"
her: "That's it?? Thought you would like the pictures more than that??"

her: "Come pick me up or something"
me: "Why, don't you have car?"
her: "Yeah but I want you to be stuck with me. Why haven't we ever spent a whole day together???"

me: "Hey how's your day today?
her: "Okay. Text me back since you never do"

DCUM, I am really trying to forge a relationship with a person I don't know who is biologically my sister. I want to pursue this with her, but I find her behavior confusing and frustrating. Am I a bad person? Please tell me how to not be annoyed by this constant focus on "the relationship" and temperature taking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Larla, Joe and I have rotavirus. We can discuss your issues sometime when I'm not so sick. I don't text people that often.

OP here, okay so I went with a variation of this. Basically just "Sorry, we have rotavirus and are super sick".

Her response: "I tried calling you, it's not like I can guess. Not sure why you wouldn't let me know you were ill"

Was I supposed to send out an alert to everyone that I was sick now? Help, DCUM.

I would say:

....Because I was sick and not texting people or on my phone?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for an address being dramatic? And why does that need days to respond? It's not like it requires a great deal thought or effort to compose.

Asking for an address: Hey Larla, what's your address?

Being melodramatic: Larla I'm such a good person why oh why do I not have your address (even though it's never come up before now)

+1. Girl did NOT merely ask for the address.

I would say- "hey, next time you've gotta give me the benefit of the doubt if I don't respond. It doesn't mean I'm purposefully ignoring you, it means I'm busy. For example me and Larlo have been sick with rotavirus this past week and thats why I didn't have my phone. But when you freak out, it stresses me out even more. So next time just please give me the benefit of the doubt."

And if she can't do that (after you reminding her of this a few times, with no improvement to her behavior), then you have to cut her out. Life is too short.