NP here - thanks everyone for sharing their stories and big hugs to OP.
We're having similar issues with DD who is almost 6. She will go into a full blown tantrum if things aren't done in way that she expects or can control. Small things like not getting to open the front door when we're leaving in the morning set her off--lots of name calling, screaming and stomping.
It's exhausting and is starting to really disrupt our family life. Plus it breaks my heart that she gets so worked up and distraught at least once a day. And lately she's also been talking about how sad and blue she is. We're keeping a running log of her behavior and I'm planning on contacting her pediatrician if things don't improve in a week or so.