Anonymous
05/19/2017 15:02
Subject: Re:Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
You have to take them on and not give in to them. When I was in about 5th grade a school bully picked on me because I had a disability. He had picked on me before, but not because of that, just as he had picked on others. But this time, despite him being much bigger than me I tackled him and got him into a headlock. I had older brothers and knew the only way to beat them was to get them on the ground and wrestle. I squeezed this guys head like a pimple until the nuns at my catholic school pulled me off. He never picked on me again and he lost a lot of his bully face. It was a great lesson for me and hopefully for him. Across my business career and I have run into a few business bullies and I've never been shy about telling them to f--- off.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 14:45
Subject: Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Anonymous wrote:I was married to a sociopath once. This thread is weird, but so familiar to me.
I've learned a few things from my experience. For what it's worth:
Bullies prey on people who are too nice or too weak. Easy targets.
Bullies can bully their way through nearly anything, including the court system, which is frighteningly easy to manipulate if you're a sociopath or a NPD bully.
They leave so many angry people behind: old friends, clients, ex-colleagues, neighbors, strangers. You wouldn't believe it. But they seem to carry on as if nothing's wrong. Once they are done with someone, they never look back. No regret, no loss, no guilt.
Oh, nothing's ever wrong with THEM. That's why they never seek psychological treatment. And never get better.
But here's the good news. Sooner or later, they do lose. They will come up against someone even crazier than them. Or as other posters have written, they come up against someone who is determined against the odds to fight them and has a lot of proof against them.
And yes, that person needs a lot of support. A team of people against a bully is best. Experts are even better.
In the end, bullies lose. I do believe this. But taking them on can literally kill you. It's exhausting. It's demoralizing. And since they lie about anything (including their targets/enemies), things can feel very uncomfortable for a while.
I would run away from someone like this in the future. Right at the beginning. I won my fight, but it nearly killed me and took years.
I have known people to literally pick up and move their family out of their home, in order to get away from someone who was off the deep end, like this.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 14:34
Subject: Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
I was married to a sociopath once. This thread is weird, but so familiar to me.
I've learned a few things from my experience. For what it's worth:
Bullies prey on people who are too nice or too weak. Easy targets.
Bullies can bully their way through nearly anything, including the court system, which is frighteningly easy to manipulate if you're a sociopath or a NPD bully.
They leave so many angry people behind: old friends, clients, ex-colleagues, neighbors, strangers. You wouldn't believe it. But they seem to carry on as if nothing's wrong. Once they are done with someone, they never look back. No regret, no loss, no guilt.
Oh, nothing's ever wrong with THEM. That's why they never seek psychological treatment. And never get better.
But here's the good news. Sooner or later, they do lose. They will come up against someone even crazier than them. Or as other posters have written, they come up against someone who is determined against the odds to fight them and has a lot of proof against them.
And yes, that person needs a lot of support. A team of people against a bully is best. Experts are even better.
In the end, bullies lose. I do believe this. But taking them on can literally kill you. It's exhausting. It's demoralizing. And since they lie about anything (including their targets/enemies), things can feel very uncomfortable for a while.
I would run away from someone like this in the future. Right at the beginning. I won my fight, but it nearly killed me and took years.
I've learned a few things from my experience. For what it's worth:
Bullies prey on people who are too nice or too weak. Easy targets.
Bullies can bully their way through nearly anything, including the court system, which is frighteningly easy to manipulate if you're a sociopath or a NPD bully.
They leave so many angry people behind: old friends, clients, ex-colleagues, neighbors, strangers. You wouldn't believe it. But they seem to carry on as if nothing's wrong. Once they are done with someone, they never look back. No regret, no loss, no guilt.
Oh, nothing's ever wrong with THEM. That's why they never seek psychological treatment. And never get better.
But here's the good news. Sooner or later, they do lose. They will come up against someone even crazier than them. Or as other posters have written, they come up against someone who is determined against the odds to fight them and has a lot of proof against them.
And yes, that person needs a lot of support. A team of people against a bully is best. Experts are even better.
In the end, bullies lose. I do believe this. But taking them on can literally kill you. It's exhausting. It's demoralizing. And since they lie about anything (including their targets/enemies), things can feel very uncomfortable for a while.
I would run away from someone like this in the future. Right at the beginning. I won my fight, but it nearly killed me and took years.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 12:10
Subject: Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Anonymous wrote:Because aggression wins, period.
That's how it is in nature, and that's how it is with humanity.
Bullies are aggressive. Aggression wins. Bullies are winners.
Wrong. Bullies are losers, hence the attitude.
Bullies rely on systematic, predictable patterns and are often too stupid to know that their target is at least ten steps ahead of them; including financial and legal recourse (plural).
Bullies do not realize how much proof, and how many enemies they have created, all by themselves. People "yes" bullies to their face.
Bullies' pride (not to mention their OCD and narcissism) is their downfall.
OP, you need to consult a lawyer and find out what charges to bring against your perp. There are many available to you.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 11:43
Subject: Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Whether bullies are winning or not depends on how you keep score. We're all going to die and, despite some popular myths, there is no after life. When all is said and done, were you happy? Most bullies won't have been.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 11:42
Subject: Re:Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Bullies win because people let them win. It's all about power. Donald Trump has been a bully most of his career - threatening people, suing everyone, screwing vendors (sue me!) and he has gotten away with it until now. He's now proclaiming he's a victim and he's acting like a spoiled child. He came to Washington believing that he was the only solution to our problems and expected everyone to cater to him as they did with his business. The pushback he is getting from congress, the courts, the media and the people must be a huge surprise to someone who got away with bullying his entire life. It can be challenging for an individual to take on a bully but a team can do it.
The people spoke...he won.
He won because of the rules of that particular game. But to the extent "the people" spoke, they mostly preferred his opponent.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 11:21
Subject: Re:Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Bullies win because people let them win. It's all about power. Donald Trump has been a bully most of his career - threatening people, suing everyone, screwing vendors (sue me!) and he has gotten away with it until now. He's now proclaiming he's a victim and he's acting like a spoiled child. He came to Washington believing that he was the only solution to our problems and expected everyone to cater to him as they did with his business. The pushback he is getting from congress, the courts, the media and the people must be a huge surprise to someone who got away with bullying his entire life. It can be challenging for an individual to take on a bully but a team can do it.
The people spoke...he won.
He did win and aren't we better for it? Many people like bullies because they think he will protect them. There is a difference between being a bully and being a tough leader.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 11:06
Subject: Re:Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Anonymous wrote:Bullies win because people let them win. It's all about power. Donald Trump has been a bully most of his career - threatening people, suing everyone, screwing vendors (sue me!) and he has gotten away with it until now. He's now proclaiming he's a victim and he's acting like a spoiled child. He came to Washington believing that he was the only solution to our problems and expected everyone to cater to him as they did with his business. The pushback he is getting from congress, the courts, the media and the people must be a huge surprise to someone who got away with bullying his entire life. It can be challenging for an individual to take on a bully but a team can do it.
The people spoke...he won.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 10:30
Subject: Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
They may win as you say but you sleep better of a night
Anonymous
05/19/2017 09:17
Subject: Re:Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Bullies win because people let them win. It's all about power. Donald Trump has been a bully most of his career - threatening people, suing everyone, screwing vendors (sue me!) and he has gotten away with it until now. He's now proclaiming he's a victim and he's acting like a spoiled child. He came to Washington believing that he was the only solution to our problems and expected everyone to cater to him as they did with his business. The pushback he is getting from congress, the courts, the media and the people must be a huge surprise to someone who got away with bullying his entire life. It can be challenging for an individual to take on a bully but a team can do it.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 06:53
Subject: Re:Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Anonymous wrote:This is a very bizarre thread.
+1
Anonymous
05/19/2017 01:45
Subject: Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
Anonymous wrote:Because aggression wins, period.
That's how it is in nature, and that's how it is with humanity.
Bullies are aggressive. Aggression wins. Bullies are winners.
I disagree. People live in fear of bullies so they may appear to be "winners." No doubt some of them are, but eventually they are often taken down by the numbers of people who avoid them. Standing up to bullies, with proper documentation and backup from others who've dealt with them, is the best route. You don't have to be more powerful. You do have to have some proof and additional witnesses.
Anonymous
05/19/2017 00:57
Subject: Re:Why do bully personalities always seem to win?
This is a very bizarre thread.