Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do and and hire a live in nanny to do all the kid stuff when DH and I are traveling. Win-win for everybody!

Except the kids.

Anonymous wrote:Asking on DCUM may be asking to be judged ... most here wil be biased toward thinking you are not a "good mom" if you do the job. But lots of career-fulfilled moms are also better moms for it and figure out how to balance quality time and actually having a thriving successful career mom can benefit lots of kids and the research generally supports that many kids thrive from
More independence than this generation often has they will be more career successful themselves in the future

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It comes down to what are you willing to miss. If you take the job, you'll miss many small and more than a few big moments with your kids. You will have a good relationship with your kids, but it will be different. If you don't take the job, you'll miss the challenges, triumphs, stimulation, reward, and recognition of a big job.

You can't have everything. So which set of missed opportunists hits you in your gut harder? Either answer is fine and your kids will be fine. Listen to yourself and not what others say to do or societal expectations tell you.

Agree with this. If you're a working parent, you'll miss some things--you have to figure out what proportion of missed experiences with your kids feels okay to you.

FWIW, my spouse's parents missed a lot due to demanding careers. They had a live-in nanny for their kids for many years. However, because they were at the top of their professions, they were able to pay fully to send three kids to excellent private schools, elite colleges, they have multiple homes, and have offered to pay for grandkids' private school. They missed out on a lot of moments, no doubt, but perhaps they made up for it somewhat by providing a more secure financial future for their kids and grandkids.

Anonymous wrote:It comes down to what are you willing to miss. If you take the job, you'll miss many small and more than a few big moments with your kids. You will have a good relationship with your kids, but it will be different. If you don't take the job, you'll miss the challenges, triumphs, stimulation, reward, and recognition of a big job.

You can't have everything. So which set of missed opportunists hits you in your gut harder? Either answer is fine and your kids will be fine. Listen to yourself and not what others say to do or societal expectations tell you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to continue to advance in your career - DO IT!!! Once you get into more senior level types of jobs, the opportunities for advancement shrink and shrink. And if you end up in the job you are in for a while without moving if you are in a more junior job to have gotten back into the workforce, it is very likely you will stagnate there. (ie. imagine yourself in your same role 10 years from now... or longer. When you are going up a career track you think it will keep advancing forever, when you get higher on the pyramid of whatever field, it no longer works like that). AND, once you've established yourself in a more senior role, more flexibility (and financial rewards that help afford more life flexibility/options) will kick back in. BUT if you think you are not planning in even some balance of 'career focus' moving forward in life, then stay. And, if you do have some career focus - don't take job advice from those who are not in the game. There is a certain set that will always tell you to stay home as much as possible & balance - and don't get that you can be a very engaged parent and also have a career too.

This seems like some good advice. I don't actually think that you can be a very engaged parent and also have a career, but I am not really sure that every child needs a very engaged parent. I don't know the names of every kid in my sons' classes, don't go to every sports practice and game, and only see their teachers at parent/teacher conferences. I do read with them every day, do their math homework with them, and listen to their middle of the night worries, and know their friends, so I am not disengaged, but not DCUM level engaged.

But my kids have white skin, high SES, a team of great teachers and educators available to them, every book/technology/extra curricular activity they could need, 2 parents, four grandparents, and a nanny who obviously love them, and penises. If they can't make it with those advantages, there is probably not much that my giving up my career would have done for them.

Anonymous wrote:If you want to continue to advance in your career - DO IT!!! Once you get into more senior level types of jobs, the opportunities for advancement shrink and shrink. And if you end up in the job you are in for a while without moving if you are in a more junior job to have gotten back into the workforce, it is very likely you will stagnate there. (ie. imagine yourself in your same role 10 years from now... or longer. When you are going up a career track you think it will keep advancing forever, when you get higher on the pyramid of whatever field, it no longer works like that). AND, once you've established yourself in a more senior role, more flexibility (and financial rewards that help afford more life flexibility/options) will kick back in. BUT if you think you are not planning in even some balance of 'career focus' moving forward in life, then stay. And, if you do have some career focus - don't take job advice from those who are not in the game. There is a certain set that will always tell you to stay home as much as possible & balance - and don't get that you can be a very engaged parent and also have a career too.

Anonymous wrote:I would only do if it would drastically change my financial status. As in, my kids are in public and I could now put them in a top private. Or, if you are not putting anything away for college and this will allow you to fund college accounts.