I found a sort of sweet spot between ages 5 and 10. Kids were out of full-time day care, but the rest of life was still pretty cheap - they can get kids meals at restaurants, qualify for kids price to many events, etc.

It starts getting expensive again in middle school, I think. I guess some of it is optional - kids are paying more attention to brand clothing, want to join the same summer camps as their friends, etc. Some of it is less optional, like more food (and I would put orthodontia in this category, personally - but not golf lessons). Any trips you want to take as a family get more expensive.

We do a lot of camping. Optional, yes, but a great way to get the whole family outdoors and active, and overall not that expensive. But when the kids were young, we scraped by with having them carry whatever they could handle in their school backpacks, while DH and I carried the main gear, and we all crammed into the three-person tent I've had since college. Now that isn't cutting it anymore. So we just dropped $$$ on a new tent that'll fit the whole family, overnight frame packs for the kids, and some new hiking shoes. Required? No, I guess not ... but what we used to do fairly inexpensively, we found this year we needed to either give up or shell or big bucks. So maybe it's worth qualifying that they get more expensive again IF you assume that you'll maintain the same standard of living and types of activities you had when they were younger. Of course you can give things up to save money, but if you want to keep doing whatever you've always done with the kids, those things cost more as they get bigger.

Our food bills are crazy--we've gone from spending $150/week at the grocery store to $300+. The kids' clothes, haircuts, activities, etc. And the big one for us is tutoring and private school for learning issues. We hadn't planned for or expected that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well OP I guess you have your answer. The people who say that either had no childcare costs because the mom stayed home; or believe that golfing and ski trips are the equivalent financial necessities to childcare.

How did we get to golf and ski trips? My list was swimming and piano lessons? I wish we could afford golf. That is crazy expensive.

Yes. The problem with your list is that your costs were $800/month. The cost of infant childcare in DC is around $2000-$2200/month depending on what kind of arrangement you chose. Yes, this includes daycare. Add in formula, diapers, medical costs, time off of work ...

I find it cheaper. Early on we had child in a private school. Now we can put money away for college. Activities were more expensive based on what the choices were. Food and other necessities are about the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elementary boys go through sneakers in about 5 weeks. Grocery bill over $300/week. Spring sports enrollment cost over a thousand dollars (plus cost of equipment). New golf clubs last week for one kid, orthodontia coming up for two kids, one week of full day camp for the summer for all three was over a thousand dollars. We aren't even into cell phones yet. Plane rides to visit grandparents, every time we vacation it's 5 flights and a suite or two hotel rooms. 5 lift tickets. I mean- you really can't imagine how expensive life with kids is if you continue to be active.

Yeah well if you are unlimited in how you spend money, I suppose life doesn't get any cheaper. For those of us who don't vacation frequently, ski, or buy our kids golf clubs, life is a little more financially manageable. We're talking about the inelastic expenses (like childcare, diapers, formula), not golf clubs for your 10 year old.

Then your kids will pay in long run bc not being good at golf will hurt their business success...

I kid, but also a grain of truth here -- people do all this activities for the betterment of their kids future not just idleness.

Oh yes, I'm sure Larlo's orthodonia, golf game, and ski trips will set him up for life.

Omg, you go on ahead and send your kid off to job interviews and dating with crooked teeth and see how they fare. There is so much ageism and prejudice in hiring...

All the business owners I know hold meetings over golf, maybe if your kids is truly exceptional he won't need these hooks but most of us need to help our kids.

Anonymous wrote:Well OP I guess you have your answer. The people who say that either had no childcare costs because the mom stayed home; or believe that golfing and ski trips are the equivalent financial necessities to childcare.

How did we get to golf and ski trips? My list was swimming and piano lessons? I wish we could afford golf. That is crazy expensive.

oh yeah, orthodontia is expensive

Well for us, saving for college is the big thing. $1250 per kid per month. Also, clothing, food, activities and lessons. I've never added it up but I'm pretty sure we spend over $500 a month on their various activities and lessons. They don't even do anything that outlandish (no travel sports). We have 2 sons who are on rec soccer teams and who do group swimming and tennis lessons as well as one weekly private tennis lesson. Our daughter does group horseback riding and ice skating lessons, as well as a weekly piano lesson.

I don't think it's quite as expensive as daycare but it's expensive. I wouldn't be surprised if it comes close to $2k a month per kid (including their college savings).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elementary boys go through sneakers in about 5 weeks. Grocery bill over $300/week. Spring sports enrollment cost over a thousand dollars (plus cost of equipment). New golf clubs last week for one kid, orthodontia coming up for two kids, one week of full day camp for the summer for all three was over a thousand dollars. We aren't even into cell phones yet. Plane rides to visit grandparents, every time we vacation it's 5 flights and a suite or two hotel rooms. 5 lift tickets. I mean- you really can't imagine how expensive life with kids is if you continue to be active.

Yeah well if you are unlimited in how you spend money, I suppose life doesn't get any cheaper. For those of us who don't vacation frequently, ski, or buy our kids golf clubs, life is a little more financially manageable. We're talking about the inelastic expenses (like childcare, diapers, formula), not golf clubs for your 10 year old.

Then your kids will pay in long run bc not being good at golf will hurt their business success...

I kid, but also a grain of truth here -- people do all this activities for the betterment of their kids future not just idleness.

Oh yes, I'm sure Larlo's orthodonia, golf game, and ski trips will set him up for life.

Omg, you go on ahead and send your kid off to job interviews and dating with crooked teeth and see how they fare. There is so much ageism and prejudice in hiring...

All the business owners I know hold meetings over golf, maybe if your kids is truly exceptional he won't need these hooks but most of us need to help our kids.

Of course they aren't necessities. Will they make my kids life better? Probably. Does it make my life better ( doing family activities like skiing or golfing), absolutely. Wins all around. If you say you wouldn't do what you want had you the money to do it I'm not able to relate to you.

Well OP I guess you have your answer. The people who say that either had no childcare costs because the mom stayed home; or believe that golfing and ski trips are the equivalent financial necessities to childcare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elementary boys go through sneakers in about 5 weeks. Grocery bill over $300/week. Spring sports enrollment cost over a thousand dollars (plus cost of equipment). New golf clubs last week for one kid, orthodontia coming up for two kids, one week of full day camp for the summer for all three was over a thousand dollars. We aren't even into cell phones yet. Plane rides to visit grandparents, every time we vacation it's 5 flights and a suite or two hotel rooms. 5 lift tickets. I mean- you really can't imagine how expensive life with kids is if you continue to be active.

Yeah well if you are unlimited in how you spend money, I suppose life doesn't get any cheaper. For those of us who don't vacation frequently, ski, or buy our kids golf clubs, life is a little more financially manageable. We're talking about the inelastic expenses (like childcare, diapers, formula), not golf clubs for your 10 year old.

Then your kids will pay in long run bc not being good at golf will hurt their business success...

I kid, but also a grain of truth here -- people do all this activities for the betterment of their kids future not just idleness.

Oh yes, I'm sure Larlo's orthodonia, golf game, and ski trips will set him up for life.

Leaning two like long skills/hobbies and having straight teeth is a luxury? Bummer, man.

Do you even hear yourself? yes. orthodonia, skiing, and golfing are luxuries, and are not necessary to a successful and happy life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well if that's the question, no, they don't wear diapers anymore. Yeah, they eat more food. But most of us on this board DO vacation or play sports or instruments or whatever, so of course we don't live by "bare basics"- our kids do things. We didn't pay for daycare as we have a SAHP, so life is way more expensive than when they were breastfed and wore cloth diapers.


But yes, we wouldn't live a lifestyle that we couldn't afford.

You forgot to add in the opportunity cost of you not working.

True. I gave up a nice salary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My elementary boys go through sneakers in about 5 weeks. Grocery bill over $300/week. Spring sports enrollment cost over a thousand dollars (plus cost of equipment). New golf clubs last week for one kid, orthodontia coming up for two kids, one week of full day camp for the summer for all three was over a thousand dollars. We aren't even into cell phones yet. Plane rides to visit grandparents, every time we vacation it's 5 flights and a suite or two hotel rooms. 5 lift tickets. I mean- you really can't imagine how expensive life with kids is if you continue to be active.

Yeah well if you are unlimited in how you spend money, I suppose life doesn't get any cheaper. For those of us who don't vacation frequently, ski, or buy our kids golf clubs, life is a little more financially manageable. We're talking about the inelastic expenses (like childcare, diapers, formula), not golf clubs for your 10 year old.

Then your kids will pay in long run bc not being good at golf will hurt their business success...

I kid, but also a grain of truth here -- people do all this activities for the betterment of their kids future not just idleness.

Oh yes, I'm sure Larlo's orthodonia, golf game, and ski trips will set him up for life.

Leaning two like long skills/hobbies and having straight teeth is a luxury? Bummer, man.

Anonymous wrote:Well if that's the question, no, they don't wear diapers anymore. Yeah, they eat more food. But most of us on this board DO vacation or play sports or instruments or whatever, so of course we don't live by "bare basics"- our kids do things. We didn't pay for daycare as we have a SAHP, so life is way more expensive than when they were breastfed and wore cloth diapers.


But yes, we wouldn't live a lifestyle that we couldn't afford.

You forgot to add in the opportunity cost of you not working.