Spell it out for him. In his mind, his mom cares about the holiday and you don't. But since you kind of do a bit, let him know and work it out together. Maybe let him take the kids with him to brunch, if you want to relax and have a lie-in. Then in the afternoon you, DH, and kids do something fun that you want to do.

Some of you seem emotionally stunted. She didn't feel a certain way last year so she's not allowed to have feelings this year?? Holy hell, you all have the emotional range of a thimble. Emotions are complicated! They change! They can be confusing!

OP - be kind to yourself and your husband, and you'll figure it out togeher.

Anonymous wrote:I would smile brightly and say, "Not much of a Mother's Day for me if I am on kid duty for the day while you are pampering your mother with a special brunch so please increase the reservation to include the kids. I will sleep in and go get my nails done and relax. You can order take out for dinner for us so you don't have to cook if you like because of course I am not cooking."

This. He can go but he takes the kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His mom made a fuss. he knows mother's day is important to her.

You don't really celebrate holidays. Maybe you have said things that have made him think celebrating Mother's day isn't important to you.

You need to tell him actually this holiday is important and you want him to plan something for you.

OP here again and yes, this is all so true.

Next year, I'll be sure he knows.

He needs to know this *now* so he can do something *this year* to make up for it!

Anonymous wrote:His mom made a fuss. he knows mother's day is important to her.

You don't really celebrate holidays. Maybe you have said things that have made him think celebrating Mother's day isn't important to you.

You need to tell him actually this holiday is important and you want him to plan something for you.

Are men really this dense though? The issue is he literally didn't consider her at alll. My husband hates celebrating his birthday but I at least ask if he wants to do something.

I would make him take the kids. He needs to find a place that is kid friendly. Then you can stay home/go out alone. I would go out to lunch with a book, pedicure, movies, and maybe dinner after. All alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would smile brightly and say, "Not much of a Mother's Day for me if I am on kid duty for the day while you are pampering your mother with a special brunch so please increase the reservation to include the kids. I will sleep in and go get my nails done and relax. You can order take out for dinner for us so you don't have to cook if you like because of course I am not cooking."

I like this approach

X1,000

Anonymous wrote:I would smile brightly and say, "Not much of a Mother's Day for me if I am on kid duty for the day while you are pampering your mother with a special brunch so please increase the reservation to include the kids. I will sleep in and go get my nails done and relax. You can order take out for dinner for us so you don't have to cook if you like because of course I am not cooking."

I like this approach

I would feel the same way. And I'd be mostly pissed about having to do all the childcare for the day when he could have helped me on a day that's about being apprecited.

What do you actually want to happen? I know you wish he thought to do something for yiu, but he didnt. In an ideal scenario, what would happen now? Cancel with granny? Take you too? Add another time for you? You can't approach him until you know what you want. And then suggest it to him.

For me personally, I would want to have a nice morning with him and the kids. Have him let me sleep in. Go somewhere fun all together. Have him have the kids acknowledge it even if they just scribble on a piece of paper and he tells them it's a day to say thank you to mommy. And then if the kids can handle it, I wouldn't mind him bringing them to brunch with grandma so I can get a pedicure and catch a movie alone.

In this scenario I would tell him "let's do something fun together as a family in the morning. I love that we can be all together on mothers day. Remember to tell the kids about it so they can learn about saying thank you and doing something nice for their mother. And why don't you bring the kids to mom's so that this mom can enjoy a well deserved afternoon or relaxation to celebrate. Besides, she would enjoy seeing her grandbabies"

That's terrible.

I would smile brightly and say, "Not much of a Mother's Day for me if I am on kid duty for the day while you are pampering your mother with a special brunch so please increase the reservation to include the kids. I will sleep in and go get my nails done and relax. You can order take out for dinner for us so you don't have to cook if you like because of course I am not cooking."

Why don't you and the kids go with him?

Ask him to at least arrange a babysitter for the bulk of the day so you can have a day off to do whatever you want to do.

If he's not having brunch until 2, then there is time like a PP said for him to let you sleep in. How old are your kids? Train them to give you a pedicure. If they are young, they can just rub lotion on your feet. Or take your kids somewhere YOU want to go.

I get it. Sometimes these feelings just come out of no where. Sometimes you just want to vent anonymously without hearing a million solutions!