Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Huh. I wonder why on earth that could be?
Why would teachers be pushing their students for better performance? Gosh, I never come on here and read post after post of which schools are acceptable. What exactly makes a school acceptable? Oh that's right! Test scores. Teachers are pushed to deliver, by administrators, pushed by parents.

It's the community and it starts in the home.

It doesn't matter how laid back you are at home. When you are in high school, even if you are looking only at state schools, grades matter. So when teachers dump too much homework on kids, it's going to impact even those who aren't from academically obsessed families. Add bullying that the school refuses to address, and that can create major stress for kids. Just because some parents demand crazy standards of the schools, doesn't mean they have to drag us all along with them with excessive homework and projects. It's not like they make it optional for those who would prefer less stress.

This is true. We are a laid back family. Dh and I graduated from Mason and work typical jobs. I am the first to say "eh...close enough" in most situations, and in our home we don't even care about grades as long as the kids are doing their work and trying, and yet my ds has literal panic attacks about homework and grades and tests and not being able to get into college. This is 100% coming from our schools, and I don't know how to stop the freight train. It would take everyone from preshoool to grad school plus parents working together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Huh. I wonder why on earth that could be?
Why would teachers be pushing their students for better performance? Gosh, I never come on here and read post after post of which schools are acceptable. What exactly makes a school acceptable? Oh that's right! Test scores. Teachers are pushed to deliver, by administrators, pushed by parents.

It's the community and it starts in the home.

It doesn't matter how laid back you are at home. When you are in high school, even if you are looking only at state schools, grades matter. So when teachers dump too much homework on kids, it's going to impact even those who aren't from academically obsessed families. Add bullying that the school refuses to address, and that can create major stress for kids. Just because some parents demand crazy standards of the schools, doesn't mean they have to drag us all along with them with excessive homework and projects. It's not like they make it optional for those who would prefer less stress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My father committed suicide and that (the fact that they shouldn't be talked about) is absolutely not true. The culture dose recy, stigma and shame around suicides is not healthy at all. The best thing to do is talk about them IN CONTEXT--what a loss they are, how horrible is order those left behind, other options and choices. Also promote resources for help.

Then 13 Reasons Why is useful. But generally, in schools with large numbers of suicides, talking about them is the wrong response. All people are different and have different responses and needs. But suicide is not one option among many and should not be normalized or validated.

I'm sorry about your father. I'm not sure what context it is appropriate to talk about suicide.

I'm a TJ parent and we got an email from the administration this week expressing concerns about 13 Reasons Why. The passed along this article, which is excellent.

http://700childrens.nationwidechildrens.org/13-reasons-parents-concerned-netflix-series/

Given the workload, perfectionism, unattainable high expectations and pressure at TJ, I am always surprised (fingers crossed, knock on wood) that TJ has avoided a suicide problem (although they have other problems, like the Sara Kim, Harvard- Stanford admissions scam). I'm actually not sure why Woodson and not TJ, except maybe luck? Bullying is probably less of an issue. And the counseling staff/ administration seem to be very on top of mental health. But still ???

As a nurse practitioner and WTW parent, I would argue that our school system is RESPONSIBLE because it takes a village. Kids spend the majority of their waking lives at school or performing work for school. The teachers at WTW know that homework is a problem and yet most don't do anything to fix it. FCPS also has a teacher task force to look at homework loads, but it's been stalled for two years.The WTW Director of Student Services, Dr. Carlin Floyd, gets it, but most of the administration at WTW and in FCPS Central Administration have their head in the sand. It's time that parents and students STAND UP and make their voices heard! Pleas consider honoring Minjoo's life by making a difference and start Speaking Truth to Power.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Huh. I wonder why on earth that could be?
Why would teachers be pushing their students for better performance? Gosh, I never come on here and read post after post of which schools are acceptable. What exactly makes a school acceptable? Oh that's right! Test scores. Teachers are pushed to deliver, by administrators, pushed by parents.

It's the community and it starts in the home.

+1000

I'm close to some people who knew this young man. He was active in his church community, mentoring younger children, a caring and kind person. Those who knew him and knew him well are devastated and shocked.

I don't know what the tipping point was. But if teens are so overwhelmed with all the expectations placed upon them that they see no way out other than death, some serious reflection is needed. As a parent, I can help my children develop coping skills for life's challenges but I also am responsible for having the discernment to know when to step in and reduce the pressure or lighten the load.

I'm not blaming this boy''s parents. Or the school. But we as a society need to wake up. This is causing me to reexamine my priorities with regards to my own children. Prayers to this young man''s family and friends.

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Huh. I wonder why on earth that could be?
Why would teachers be pushing their students for better performance? Gosh, I never come on here and read post after post of which schools are acceptable. What exactly makes a school acceptable? Oh that's right! Test scores. Teachers are pushed to deliver, by administrators, pushed by parents.

It's the community and it starts in the home.

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean this disrespectfully, but have all the suicides been Asian-American students?

I was also wondering if family culture come into play.

Were most of the suicides (even at other schools) in the spring? Is there a connection to finals or college acceptances or SAT test time or something?

Other than general pressure, what is the tipping point for kids in high performing schools? What have we learned from the kids who have ended their lives? Did they leave notes saying why they felt there was no hope?

Anonymous wrote:This scares the $hit out of me as a future Woodson parent. What, if anything, is being done to change the culture so this doesn't continue to happen?

The students now have milk and cookies.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/04/29/after-six-suicides-a-school-changes-woodson-needs-to-do-even-more-alums-say/

It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Anonymous wrote: My father committed suicide and that (the fact that they shouldn't be talked about) is absolutely not true. The culture dose recy, stigma and shame around suicides is not healthy at all. The best thing to do is talk about them IN CONTEXT--what a loss they are, how horrible is order those left behind, other options and choices. Also promote resources for help.

Then 13 Reasons Why is useful. But generally, in schools with large numbers of suicides, talking about them is the wrong response. All people are different and have different responses and needs. But suicide is not one option among many and should not be normalized or validated.

I'm sorry about your father. I'm not sure what context it is appropriate to talk about suicide.

My father committed suicide and that (the fact that they shouldn't be talked about) is absolutely not true. The culture dose recy, stigma and shame around suicides is not healthy at all. The best thing to do is talk about them IN CONTEXT--what a loss they are, how horrible is order those left behind, other options and choices. Also promote resources for help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

I don't know about Madison or Oakton, but in the years that my DCs have attended McLean- both McLean and Langley have had suicides nearly every year- some years more than one. Some have not been covered by the media or even here on DCUM.

That is the correct way to handle suicides in schools. Covering suicides in the media normalizes them, to some extent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean this disrespectfully, but have all the suicides been Asian-American students?

And male?

My understanding is that the demographics are all different. Male and female, popular and loner, high academics and low. Whatever the commonality is, it's not obvious. I wonder if the administration could get someone in from the outside to really study the issue, talk to kids' friends, see if they can figure out what's going on, what is triggering these kids and causing them to do this. Why this school, and not the other ones in the area?

And my understanding is that there have been non-stress related issues in at least some of the cases. Not that stress is the cause of any. I don't know that. My understanding is just that it wasn't the cause of some.