Anonymous wrote:It's not about a lack of gratitude for the gifts themselves. It's that they don't want to put the time into thinking about what the child might like. I get it.

They put the time into asking you, as opposed to ordering the cheapest thing from ToysRUs.
So weird.

It drives me nuts when my MIL asks. She's "Grandma of the Year" but can't keep track of what interests DD and DS, whom she interacts with frequently. She's an airhead.

Anonymous wrote: I really dislike when people ask me what to get my kids (3 and 6) as gifts for their birthdays or whatever. I spend enough time trying to figure out what to get them myself and I feel like it also shows a total lack of interest is thinking about what they might like. I know it sounds ungrateful and they might be just trying to get the kids something that they would like. Does this bug anyone else? What is wrong with me?

I love my two little nephews and always ask their mom for gift ideas, because they live 800 miles away and I'm not there on a daily basis to know what toys, games etc. are interesting to them right now. You really shouldn't expect other adults to be so focused on your children that they'd know exactly what to get for them.

I always ask and it is very helpful to know whether the child likes Legos, crafts, reading, make-up, etc. I think it makes the gift more fun for the child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I really dislike when people ask me what to get my kids (3 and 6) as gifts for their birthdays or whatever. I spend enough time trying to figure out what to get them myself and I feel like it also shows a total lack of interest is thinking about what they might like. I know it sounds ungrateful and they might be just trying to get the kids something that they would like. Does this bug anyone else? What is wrong with me?

You are ungrateful. They're not asking because they are lazy, they're asking because most kids are really into something and would prefer specific gifts. You are lucky anyone even cares to get your kids a gift.

Agree. I always ask the mom especially when it is not a close friend of my child, but a classmate, sport team mate, etc. My child doesn't know them very well outside of school/class, and I don't want to junk your house just with another Chinese product. Believe me, it would be much easier for my to order something from the Amazon, then to search for the thing that the child likes.

OP, you need to appreciate that someone cares about your child's interests.

It's a mark of courtesy, OP, and I find it strange that you would interpret it any other way. Perhaps schools should go back to teaching manners!

Your relative or friend wishs to check with you whether you or your child has a special wish. If you don't, then you can thank them and say that your child will appreciate whatever he receives. Again, this is part of normal, everyday manners.

Other people aren't going to care as much about what they get your children; they just want the kids to like the gifts and the parents to not hate the gifts.

I love when people ask!

OP, just give a general answer and carry on. Why in the world would this bug you that much?

Anonymous wrote:I prefer people ask me what to get them because I'm particular about the clothes I buy them, and they already have too many toys. I always ask my friends if there's a type of gift they would prefer for their children or just give gift cards.

I don't like gift cards as a general rule unless it's a) something lame like an office grab bag or b) there's a specific reason, like giving a Home Depot GC to someone doing a renovation. They just scream "I put no thought into this."

I loved it when people asked when the kids were little so I could guide them. One set of grandparents go way, way overboard for every holiday/bday because my kids are the only grand kids on that side of the family. The other set of grandparents buy gifts they want them to have (just like a PP said), like, a really, really nice telescope, 6 weeks of riding lessons to a barn 45 mins. from our house, golf lessons for both, etc.

You try telling a 7 year old that they'll only be able to use the riding lessons on the weekends and not through the week. I guess I should just be thankful that they didn't buy her a pony, because that just the type of people they are. My daughter loved Hello Kitty when she was little... cue those grandparents buying everything HK for a few years until I had to tell them to stop because she was out of that phase.

I used to always call a parent and say, "Johnny likes Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles, does Bobby like those as well?" I didn't just call and say "tell me what to buy!"

I prefer people ask me what to get them because I'm particular about the clothes I buy them, and they already have too many toys. I always ask my friends if there's a type of gift they would prefer for their children or just give gift cards.

Have some grace, people. You have kids and people want to give them a not totally crap gift, so they're asking for guidelines. Have a very general answer, like "anything crafts or artsy," or "anything Lego or books," or whatever broad range your kids will like.

I can see how this is bothersome....unless it's my Mom.
My parents typically get a practical item (per my suggestion) and a fun item. Ex: A toy I liked as a child.
I am not crazy about friends asking me what they should get my child. It feels embarrassing to me.

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. I have a (close) family member who literally says "buy the kid something, put my name on it, tell me how much it was and I'll Paypal you." People are largely doing it to make it more convenient for them, not because they want the perfect gift.

I feel like that is completely different. I've had people ask me what my kids would like for their birthdays, but they don't expect me to buy the gift. They just want some information. I generally say something like, "Oh, she loves to read, so books are always great. She also loves to draw and is really into My Little Ponies." Or whatever. I always assume they want to buy something that the kid will like.

This is a "you" problem, not an "other people" problem. You're annoyed because you aren't good at figuring out what to get your kids, and can't provide a useful answer when someone else asks what they might like. I don't see why it upsets you that someone who might not be super familiar with your child's day to day interests might want to verify before buying a gift.