Anonymous wrote:Female here. Weight matters to me. For one, I am very active. I was a D-1 athlete. I work out ornplay a sport 6 days a week. I like to do these things with my partner--walking, jogging, riding bikes, lifting, playing a team sport, or doing a fun race together. That's fun for me. I don't want a partner who can't keep up. It's not being mean, it's just a trait that is important to me and a key part of my lifestyle.

Secondly, if someone is overweight it tells me they might be sloppy in other areas of life. I am very neat, organized, and meticulous about details. Call me mean, but I look at overweight people and think they are sloppy, possibly disorganized, and just don't care much.

You can preach on and on and on about how someone should value you for more than just your looks. Of course your spouse should. But attraction is a huge part of a relationship. Without attraction you're just friends. I don't fault anyone for saying that they require this or that physical trait in a partner. That's what a romantic relationship is about. If you wanted a roommate or a BFF then it wouldn't matter. But this is your lover.

Anonymous wrote:There is so much sadness on these threads I can hardly stand it. Pray to God for what you want. He may say yes / no / or wait. In the end we all end up in the same exact situation .

Anonymous wrote:Female here. Weight matters to me. For one, I am very active. I was a D-1 athlete. I work out ornplay a sport 6 days a week. I like to do these things with my partner--walking, jogging, riding bikes, lifting, playing a team sport, or doing a fun race together. That's fun for me. I don't want a partner who can't keep up. It's not being mean, it's just a trait that is important to me and a key part of my lifestyle.

Secondly, if someone is overweight it tells me they might be sloppy in other areas of life. I am very neat, organized, and meticulous about details. Call me mean, but I look at overweight people and think they are sloppy, possibly disorganized, and just don't care much.

You can preach on and on and on about how someone should value you for more than just your looks. Of course your spouse should. But attraction is a huge part of a relationship. Without attraction you're just friends. I don't fault anyone for saying that they require this or that physical trait in a partner. That's what a romantic relationship is about. If you wanted a roommate or a BFF then it wouldn't matter. But this is your lover.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 lbs????

A young, single woman that much overweight is just sad. Most professional, well educated men would be embarrassed to have a girlfriend that fat even if they like them fat.

Anonymous wrote:My sense from talking to my single male friends is that weight is very important to them. Like, deal-breaker important. These are my male friends who consider themselves super progressive, equal-rights-for-everyone types. Go figure.

Anonymous wrote:50 lbs????

Anonymous wrote:Is there something in the water in DC that makes guys here only want skinny women?

Is DC a particularly difficult dating pool for overweight women

She is well educated, makes a great salary, and is sexually open.

She's kind of a "dream girl"

so weight must be the only thing holding her back.

Any insight from women who've been in her shoes? Would she do better is she relocated? She really wants marriage and a family. Or any insight from men? I'm on the verge of telling her to move to the Midwest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To men: very very much.
To women: not so much

Then why the fuq bother be with anyone who only values you by your looks? I don't get it. I much rather be single for the rest of my life than live a life knowing if I put on weight, my husband or bf would be so embarrassed and not wanna be with me, or as suggested in the other threads cheat on me.

I highly advise that you remain single. Trust me, if you start out fit/in-shape, it best for everybody if you just remain that way
But if you find staying in-shape to be hard, and are planning to "let yourself go" later, it would be best if you did that *before* getting attached.
Signed, married guy whose wife gained 40 pounds, now exploring my options.

How's your hairline, bruh?

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know who has zero luck actually has plenty of luck, but they only go for people way out of their league.

A friend is going through this. He complains nonstop that no women are interested in him when the reality is many women are. But he will only date 8s, 9s, and 10s, while he is at best a 5.

Your friend should re-examine her standards. Not saying she needs to settle for a loser, but she's likely not going to be able to score anything above a 6 or 7 (in terms of looks or money/job).

Anonymous wrote:^^^ me again.

I should add that my experience (just guy friends I've known, friends of my husband), the geeky guy type usually thinks he deserves some kind of model, extremely physically gorgeous woman. I don't know what it is, but even if he's extremely unattractive, there's something about the geeky guy (especially the ones in IT) that he thinks because he's smart, he deserves a model.

Your friend might have better luck with men who are actually more conventionally attractive and socially confidant. Those men are usually the ones who are secure enough that they don't need to prove anything. They are confidant enough that they don't need a trophy girlfriend.

It's possible your friend is self-conscious about her weight and avoids men she thinks are too attractive to her. But as I said, in my experience, it's usually the sort of unattractive, geeky guys who seem to be more superficial when it comes to dating.