So glad that your children will finish their childhoods in a less toxic environment.

Good for you. You made the right choice, and had the strength to get to the other side.

Yah you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck to you + your children O.P. I am sorry that happened to you + your kids. I will never understand why men will give up everything for sex. Sex is highly overrated

Hi OP, just checking in to say happy holidays. I hope you’ve been well!

Anonymous wrote:OP, if I recall, your husband was perhaps your first boyfriend? If that was the case, please be careful out there. Take things slowly.
To be honest, when I read your earlier threads I felt sorry for you and your situation. Now, I am relieved.
Good luck.

Thank you. You are correct. I am 46 now and we have been together since we were 16.?

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a link to the original thread?

Husband had baby with assistant (Oct. 2014)
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/419905.page

Husband had a baby with assistant update (Aug. 2016)
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/572857.page

Update on Husband had a baby with his assistant (Nov. 2016)
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/602239.page

Do you have a link to the original thread?

OP, if I recall, your husband was perhaps your first boyfriend? If that was the case, please be careful out there. Take things slowly.
To be honest, when I read your earlier threads I felt sorry for you and your situation. Now, I am relieved.
Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for you and I wish all the best to you and your kids!

I know quite a few individuals who were in situations like your children and they turned out to be amazing adults in healthy marriages/relationships.

I read a study that concluded that kids of highly contentious divorces actually went on to have more successful marriages than kids of "amicable" divorces. They concluded this was the case because, in dramatically black/white situations, the kids grew up to blame the divorce on the poor character of one or both parents. In amicable divorces, the kids ended up more confused and commitment-phobic as adults because they blamed the institution of marriage for the failure, rather than the people involved.

This is why family counselors encourage families to stick it out in low conflict marriages

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your dcs?

You're tough. Good things are ahead!

My son will be 16 this month and my daughter will be 13. My daughter has had the most difficult time of the two adjusting. It helps that we are very good co-parents.

I have come a long way from the blow-up Christmas decoration massacre.

To all that are struggling through difficult break-ups or divorces, I promise you, there is hope and happiness on the other side.

I bet he is saying the same thing, "happiness on the other side."

OP here- the 10th post and an asshole comes along. If his happiness includes losing his home, friends, my family, his job he loved, the respect of everyone he knows, then yep! He is super happy.

Ignore that loser post. D.C. urban mom usually has one very early on in each thread. Miserable people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for you and I wish all the best to you and your kids!

I know quite a few individuals who were in situations like your children and they turned out to be amazing adults in healthy marriages/relationships.

I read a study that concluded that kids of highly contentious divorces actually went on to have more successful marriages than kids of "amicable" divorces. They concluded this was the case because, in dramatically black/white situations, the kids grew up to blame the divorce on the poor character of one or both parents. In amicable divorces, the kids ended up more confused and commitment-phobic as adults because they blamed the institution of marriage for the failure, rather than the people involved.

I have heard this many times and it makes sense. I believe OP's kids know the situation so I am sure they blame it on the poor character of the father.

I'm 20:17 and I agree, that's why I posted it.

My parents had an amicable divorce. We all vacation together now, them with new partners and my siblings and all our kids. They worked hard at being friendly. I saw the fact that they got divorced was because they were flawed and human. Which, guess what, is EVERYONE. It was actually a really good learning experience for me. My parents are human, they will make mistakes, but guess what? Life goes on and can be very happy. I didn't need them to hate each other to teach me that...

I'd love to see this study.