Why don't you start planning a monthly date day/night and a family day? No tv, internet, etc. allowed. Let him know you're missing spending time with him and time together as a family. Start there and see if things improve.

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I came to a similar crossroads. What I wound up saying to him is "you are creating a situation where if we were to divorce, nothing in my life would change. It would be exactly as it is now, except I wouldn't have to concern myself with your whereabouts." That sort of shook him up, knowing that all he was was a paycheck. And who wants to be just that?

I did something similar but added that my life would actually improve because at least I'd have every other weekend end to myself when the kids went to stay with him.

My DH is a surgical resident and works at least 80 hours a week and is often called in in the middle of the night. He adores our little one but only gets to spend brief moments with him given both their schedules. I work part time and do everything around our house. It stinks but given the hours my DH's works and the stress I know he feels from surgery I'd be a fool to complain. Someday we hope to have a "normal" life but it's a good idea to keep tools etc away from a surgeon.

How much does he earn? Obviously don't tell us exactly, but is it enough for you to hire help with the kids and housework. Go somewhere with the kids on your own with a nanny for the trip? If he is working that much and you are barely making it, he must be unhappy as well, so you are unhappy, he is unhappy, kids are miserable... nobody is winning? Do you work, or SAH?

He needs to be reminded of what marriage means. Two are united in marriage to become one; not two come together and one becomes invisible. He, obviously, doesn’t place value where he should. Have you tried suggesting that both of you attend marriage counseling? I know you were more concerned with the children, but he needs to be reminded that your children need him too. I hope he wakes up before it’s too late. All the best to you.

He needs to be reminded of what marriage means. Two are united in marriage to become one; not two come together and one becomes invisible. He, obviously, doesn’t place value where he should. Have you tried suggesting that both of you attend marriage counseling? I know you were more concerned with the children, but he needs to be reminded that your children need him too. I hope he wakes up before it’s too late. All the best to you.