Anonymous
03/10/2017 15:20
Subject: Re:I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?
He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.
What is she doing? Most moms are exhausted, and need to have their enthusiasm recharged otherwise sex is just another demand on them ....giving her the cold isn't going to get a positive result.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 15:19
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/why-wives-who-do-all-the-housework-dont-want-sex_b_8395378.html
Lots of hoops to jump through. But, I'd probably jump those hoops routinely if they resulted in an active sex life. Maybe that advice works in some relationships, but I've never seen sexual frequency or enthusiasm correlate to my increased chore-load or my wife's increased downtime, at all.
So much of this is hormonal. (I see some correlation between her menstrual cycle and enthusiasm.) But women don't want to hear this -- probably related to having legitimate feelings dismissed as being because of "that time of the month." Much more pleasant to hear that it's the man's fault and he should devote his energies to improving her life.
That choreplay shit doesn't work. "You're not doing enough housework!" is just a bullshit excuse.
You're right. Maybe it's not because of the chores. Maybe it's because of your obnoxious personality.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 15:10
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/why-wives-who-do-all-the-housework-dont-want-sex_b_8395378.html
Lots of hoops to jump through. But, I'd probably jump those hoops routinely if they resulted in an active sex life. Maybe that advice works in some relationships, but I've never seen sexual frequency or enthusiasm correlate to my increased chore-load or my wife's increased downtime, at all.
So much of this is hormonal. (I see some correlation between her menstrual cycle and enthusiasm.) But women don't want to hear this -- probably related to having legitimate feelings dismissed as being because of "that time of the month." Much more pleasant to hear that it's the man's fault and he should devote his energies to improving her life.
That choreplay shit doesn't work. "You're not doing enough housework!" is just a bullshit excuse.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 14:41
Subject: Re:I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?
He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.
What is he doing for her? Working, cooking and feeding the kids are part of the family. That's not for her. Buying flowers and gifts. Taking her out and fully planning it, including child care is for her. Just sitting with her.
+1
Anonymous
03/10/2017 14:40
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
OP, the harsh reality is that most (not all) women lose much or, in some cases, all of their desire, and in most cases when that happens, there is little you can do to help her get it back.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 14:37
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You sound like an 18-year old.
#1
I don't know why people like this get married. No matter what age if you're that immature you shouldn't be married. A relationship isn't about ALL YOUR needs.
you should repeat this for every thread when women a disparaging and debasing men for not trying hard enough. FYI, you' may need to stop working b/c this will be a 24/7 job.
+1. With regard to the bolded, a relationship not being all about one person's needs also means that it's not all about her desire to have no sex, little sex, or sex that isn't sufficient to meet her husband's needs.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 14:16
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/why-wives-who-do-all-the-housework-dont-want-sex_b_8395378.html
Lots of hoops to jump through. But, I'd probably jump those hoops routinely if they resulted in an active sex life. Maybe that advice works in some relationships, but I've never seen sexual frequency or enthusiasm correlate to my increased chore-load or my wife's increased downtime, at all.
So much of this is hormonal. (I see some correlation between her menstrual cycle and enthusiasm.) But women don't want to hear this -- probably related to having legitimate feelings dismissed as being because of "that time of the month." Much more pleasant to hear that it's the man's fault and he should devote his energies to improving her life.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 14:11
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sex has fallen to once a week or less - with me always the initiator. I'm resentful and have been giving the cold shoulder for the last few days. I know it's immature to introduce passive hostility, but why do women become so complacent. I work, stay in shape, cool and feed our kid. I miss the days of once a day sex. Once a week is probably fine for most people, but not me. Happy Friday. Venting anonymously is so strange.
Glad to hear she does nothing. Grow up and communicate.
She's probably glad not having to service him every day! That would get old real quick, and maybe she is enjoying him not talking to her. Probably a break there too.
I'll bet she attends to the real important things grown ups have to face on a daily basis. Oh and you'd think he'd stop pressuring her and fall back. STOP INITIATING!!!
Anonymous
03/10/2017 13:31
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous
03/10/2017 13:30
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Sex has fallen to once a week or less - with me always the initiator. I'm resentful and have been giving the cold shoulder for the last few days. I know it's immature to introduce passive hostility, but why do women become so complacent. I work, stay in shape, cool and feed our kid. I miss the days of once a day sex. Once a week is probably fine for most people, but not me. Happy Friday. Venting anonymously is so strange.
Glad to hear she does nothing. Grow up and communicate.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 13:27
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP is a whiny perv.
What's wrong with being a perv?
He chose to get married.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 13:17
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:OP is a whiny perv.
What's wrong with being a perv?
Anonymous
03/10/2017 11:36
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You sound like an 18-year old.
#1
I don't know why people like this get married. No matter what age if you're that immature you shouldn't be married. A relationship isn't about ALL YOUR needs.
you should repeat this for every thread when women a disparaging and debasing men for not trying hard enough. FYI, you' may need to stop working b/c this will be a 24/7 job.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 11:27
Subject: I am currently being distant to wife
Anonymous wrote:Sex has fallen to once a week or less - with me always the initiator. I'm resentful and have been giving the cold shoulder for the last few days. I know it's immature to introduce passive hostility, but why do women become so complacent. I work, stay in shape, cool and feed our kid. I miss the days of once a day sex. Once a week is probably fine for most people, but not me. Happy Friday. Venting anonymously is so strange.
Self defeating. More sex follows from feeling closer. Not from alienation.
I get your resentment but you are not helping yourself.
Anonymous
03/10/2017 11:26
Subject: Re:I am currently being distant to wife
Perhaps the OP could try being better at sex. Maybe then his wife would be more interested.