She knows. She's just a coward sadly and doesn't want to know. You handled it well, OP.

21:11 is so on point with respect to travelling in male dominated industries. I currently have one male colleague in town that keeps conjuring up reasons (business and personal) for us to hang solo. I hadn't caught on initially, but I've ignored him since. I've gotten texts "mistakenly" after 1am saying he thought of me. It's par for the course,

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I did speak with the wife who said that I was the one who called her husband and she was put off by it. I told her to hang up and I would send her something. I took a screen shot of my phone log showing that he called me with date/time info. She called me back wondering why her husband would lie to her. I told her that that was a question for her husband. She then asked me what he said and I said that's another question for her husband. I'm sure he will lie to her again. If she calls me again I will tell her what he said.

Ah this guy was smart not to text or email you anything about the so-called connection he thought you had. Can't screenshot that or forward an email but just know that this guy will have some alibi if he thinks you're going to tell on him.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I did speak with the wife who said that I was the one who called her husband and she was put off by it. I told her to hang up and I would send her something. I took a screen shot of my phone log showing that he called me with date/time info. She called me back wondering why her husband would lie to her. I told her that that was a question for her husband. She then asked me what he said and I said that's another question for her husband. I'm sure he will lie to her again. If she calls me again I will tell her what he said.

I can't BELIEVE that this woman is that naïve.

I feel sorry for her. Her husband is a scumbag.

Even more of a scumbag to put this on you and try and save his own ass.

OP here - I did speak with the wife who said that I was the one who called her husband and she was put off by it. I told her to hang up and I would send her something. I took a screen shot of my phone log showing that he called me with date/time info. She called me back wondering why her husband would lie to her. I told her that that was a question for her husband. She then asked me what he said and I said that's another question for her husband. I'm sure he will lie to her again. If she calls me again I will tell her what he said.

Anonymous wrote:Male here.

I believe OP.

We're delusional about our chances, but also know you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

I'm sure he was casting his bread upon the waters to see what would happen.

That said, I wouldn't tattle. Accept the compliment and laugh behind his back.

I'm a guy as well -- you can't unring that bell and your (female) friend might decide to believe her husband who goes on about how you came on to him and he had to let you down blah blah blah.

If he can leave you alone otherwise, let it be and follow this guy's advice. If he keeps bothering you when his wife's not home, tell her and be prepared to lose the friendship.

I had a friend whose husband asked her best friend out while she was out of town. Being a good friend she refused and turned him in. It was one of the many reasons they got divorced.

They were all young though, in early 30s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why some people are being rude to OP.
OP, tell her the truth of what was said and let her know you didn't want to have dinner with him without her there, but don't offer her your interpretation.

Because they hate/envy attractive women.

Yep, this is exactly right, and I say that as another one who is not a novice at being hit on. And yes, it is a bit upsetting that this happens all the time in professional environments. Most of the men are basically well meaning but clueless and by this point (mid 40s) I've learned how to get out of the situation asap without upsetting the guy's ego. For a woman, it's basically a business skill. What is very sad is that I also have to make doubly sure that my hotel room door is locked and bolted whenever I travel, since I have had creepy men follow me to my room and try to enter it on multiple occasions. And no, I am not bragging.

But I digress...

OP, tell the minimum you feel you need to tell to make sure it doesn't happen again or to clear your conscience. If I were your friend, I'd want to know. It would hurt, but not knowing would be worse.

Finally, I'm sorry about your husband.

Anonymous wrote:Why are some men sleaze balls and others are good guys?

Easy question. Because women never initiate anything and the "sleaze ball" approach gets a lot more sex than the "good guy"

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why some people are being rude to OP.
OP, tell her the truth of what was said and let her know you didn't want to have dinner with him without her there, but don't offer her your interpretation.

Because they hate/envy attractive women.