Nanny/PT Preschool for one child - $3k per month <--- Why? Lose the preschool, completely unnecessary. Or switch to daycare.
Mortgage - $3100 per month
HOA Fee - $200 per month
Investment Property - $750 per month (what rent doesn't cover)
Home Insurance - $125 per month
Car Payments - $1200 per month (2 cars) <--- Colossal waste of money. What do you drive?
Car Insurance - $110 per month (2 cars)
Gas - $200 per month
Tolls - $35 per month
Groceries - $1k per month, family of 3 plus nanny (weekdays breakfast & lunch for her). Includes wine/beer and hello fresh for weeknight meals <--- Why are you using Hello Fresh for weeknight meals? Go grocery shopping or subscribe to Peapod and/or Amazon Prime Pantry. It's not that hard.
Restaurants/Take Out - $500 per month (normally one 'nice' date night dinner and the rest inexpensive) <--- Too much. If that is only one date night, then you are eating out too much
Home Supplies - $650 per month (all the basics like toilet paper, paper towels, cat food/litter, shampoo, OTC meds, cosmetics, diapers, baby supplies, blah blah) <---That is a lot if it doesn't include any food
Student Loans - $350 per month
Personal Care - $350 per month (hair cuts/color, waxing, nails) <--- Unless you are a professional model or actress, this is ridiculous.
House Cleaner - $300 per month <--- Could probably be cut back.
Lawn Care - $135 per month <--- Cut the lawn yourself. Good exercise.
Shopping (Clothing/Accessories/Home Decor) - $500 per month <--- That's a lot.
Gifts - $200 per month
Work Lunch - $150 per month <--- Pack a lunch.
Entertaining - $200 per month (having guests over/parties)
Kid's Activities/Lessons - $200 per month (swim class, music class, outings) <--- Waste of money for a child in diapers
Doctor/Dentist - $150 per month
Pharmacy/Medications - $100 per month
Water Bill - $100 ($300 every 3 months)
Gas Bill - $140 (in winter, much less in summer months)
Electric Bill - $200
Cell Phones - $200
Pets - $100 earmarked per month for vet visits, meds etc every few months
Entertainment - $150 per month (going out for drinks/movies/etc)
Cash - $200
TOTAL ~ $14,600

Anonymous wrote:Troll?

I wondered myself. Even with that much income you are spending excessively. Op, well at least you recognized there's a problem. I also suggest you and your spouse need to take a class on personal financial management. Check out the free classes online. I think I finally understand how high earners can end up bankrupt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a ton here I get to raise my eyebrows at. But thank you for the window into your life. I have an 18 month old and have $4350 take home a month and also save 8% for retirement.

The thing I really wonder about is time. I barely feel like I have enough time with my son and he has a stay at home parent (his dad). I don't spend my free time eating out or shopping or getting nails or hair done. If I did, and spent what you spent, I don't feel like I'd ever see him in the evenings. Your kid doesn't need preschool. Stay home and eat mac and cheese and play with her.

I'm with our daughter 1 hour in the am before work, and 3 hours at night, all weekends, plus I took off every Friday afternoon to spend with her this year. I feel like we get lots of quality time. I fit any personal care appointments into the work day or right after while the nanny is here, eating out is normally with her other than our monthly date night.

I would honestly love to see your budget for $4350 take home for perspective.

This is scary for me because it is so far from what DCUM looks like. I live in a 3 bedroom ranch inside the beltway:
$2300 mortgage, tax, insurance
$150 electric
$120 gas (heating)
$100 gasoline (car)
$85 cellphones (3GB share plan)
$55 internet only (no cable, no landline phone)
$600 food, $500 groceries, $100 on ethnic takeaway for treats
$200 diapers, wipes, cleaning supplies
The remaining varies: house stuff, savings, car repairs, clothes. I check goodwill and other thrift stores. I buy frequently from craigslist. Yes it is a struggle sometimes. Tax returns and credit card points are used for vacation (to visit family who are luckily near the beach). We drive a 2008 toyota and a 2007 mazda 5 that are paid off. I paid off my student loans last year and my husband didn't go to college.

I’m glad to hear you feel you have enough time with your daughter. I leave for work befor DS wakes up and get home about 4:30. He goes to bed at 7. With bath and mealtime craziness, I feel our quality time is very limited on the weekdays and would hate to spend it shopping, but that’s just me!

Thank you for sharing!!! I think the home supply area (where you have diapers/wipes/cleaning supplies) and groceries are killing us and I'm not sure why. Feels like necessary spending so not something I pay a lot of attention to but will look into that in detail. Our daughter doesn't go down until 8:30/9 which is not for everyone but works for us and definitely gives us more time on weekdays.

Yes I agree that seems the most out of whack to me. I get how you can easily overspend on food, we have to be militant. But you also have a house cleaner. Is your house like spotless or something? Maybe just be ok with a little dirt? I thought one of the benefits of having a cleaner means you don't have to buy crap like toilet brushes. haha I dunno.

Troll?

Anonymous wrote:Your mortgage isn't crazy...so you've got that going for you, but you're going to get torched, OP.

Yea, that's about the only sensible thing, though I'd guess that the first property mortgage probably limited how much mortgage they were allowed to take on the second house.

Spending $700/mo to drive a leased Mercedes SUV is nuts though. Nuts.

I'd eliminate the car payments and PT preschool.

Every category is too high. I really can't relate to your spendy lifestyle, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a ton here I get to raise my eyebrows at. But thank you for the window into your life. I have an 18 month old and have $4350 take home a month and also save 8% for retirement.

The thing I really wonder about is time. I barely feel like I have enough time with my son and he has a stay at home parent (his dad). I don't spend my free time eating out or shopping or getting nails or hair done. If I did, and spent what you spent, I don't feel like I'd ever see him in the evenings. Your kid doesn't need preschool. Stay home and eat mac and cheese and play with her.

I'm with our daughter 1 hour in the am before work, and 3 hours at night, all weekends, plus I took off every Friday afternoon to spend with her this year. I feel like we get lots of quality time. I fit any personal care appointments into the work day or right after while the nanny is here, eating out is normally with her other than our monthly date night.

I would honestly love to see your budget for $4350 take home for perspective.

This is scary for me because it is so far from what DCUM looks like. I live in a 3 bedroom ranch inside the beltway:
$2300 mortgage, tax, insurance
$150 electric
$120 gas (heating)
$100 gasoline (car)
$85 cellphones (3GB share plan)
$55 internet only (no cable, no landline phone)
$600 food, $500 groceries, $100 on ethnic takeaway for treats
$200 diapers, wipes, cleaning supplies
The remaining varies: house stuff, savings, car repairs, clothes. I check goodwill and other thrift stores. I buy frequently from craigslist. Yes it is a struggle sometimes. Tax returns and credit card points are used for vacation (to visit family who are luckily near the beach). We drive a 2008 toyota and a 2007 mazda 5 that are paid off. I paid off my student loans last year and my husband didn't go to college.

I’m glad to hear you feel you have enough time with your daughter. I leave for work befor DS wakes up and get home about 4:30. He goes to bed at 7. With bath and mealtime craziness, I feel our quality time is very limited on the weekdays and would hate to spend it shopping, but that’s just me!

Your mortgage isn't crazy...so you've got that going for you, but you're going to get torched, OP.

Anonymous wrote:So how much total debt are you in?

Student loans?
Cars?
Investment property?
Mortgage?
Others?

Not concerned about debt as all are at low interest rates

Student loans? $6k left (originally $38k)
Cars? $13k on audi, other car is leased
Investment property? $300k mortgage, $430k current value. DH had this property before I met him (lived there) and was only paying interest for years so has taken a while to get into the principal.
Mortgage? $550k mortgage, $750k current value (purchased at $650k)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our HHI is same as your OP. We save about 9k per month. You are spending waaaaaaay too much!!

9k after taxes and retirement? Do tell. .. .

Yes, ~9k after taxes and retirement. Fair to say our life style is much more frugal than OPs. We are older than OP though.

Yes would love to see that budget breakdown. You're only spending $5k per month with the same HHI?

No mortgage, no car payment/no fancy cars, no student loans, no nanny (all three kids in college - merit scholarship plus 529), put everything on CC (phone, food, shopping, elect, gas..etc. 2500-3000 months)...etc. We maybe comparing apples-to-oranges but your spending seems really high.

There's so much to cut I don't know where to start. $650 on home supplies??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You spend a lot OP. Many are what I'd call "comfort spending" not essentials.

OP here - Totally agree. We have a decent amount coming in and it's gone before we're able to put anything towards our longer term priorities. That's why we're doing this analysis and figuring out what needs to change. Not acting like we've been making any sacrifices but it does feel like we're spending the same as our peers with similar incomes which is why I'm looking for this feedback

Your peers probably don't have student loans and an investment that's costs them $750 a month. That's $1100 right there. And the car costs are crazy too. You're probably outspending your peers in multiple categories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our HHI is same as your OP. We save about 9k per month. You are spending waaaaaaay too much!!

9k after taxes and retirement? Do tell. .. .

Yes, ~9k after taxes and retirement. Fair to say our life style is much more frugal than OPs. We are older than OP though.

Yes would love to see that budget breakdown. You're only spending $5k per month with the same HHI?

Anonymous wrote:There's a ton here I get to raise my eyebrows at. But thank you for the window into your life. I have an 18 month old and have $4350 take home a month and also save 8% for retirement.

The thing I really wonder about is time. I barely feel like I have enough time with my son and he has a stay at home parent (his dad). I don't spend my free time eating out or shopping or getting nails or hair done. If I did, and spent what you spent, I don't feel like I'd ever see him in the evenings. Your kid doesn't need preschool. Stay home and eat mac and cheese and play with her.

I'm with our daughter 1 hour in the am before work, and 3 hours at night, all weekends, plus I took off every Friday afternoon to spend with her this year. I feel like we get lots of quality time. I fit any personal care appointments into the work day or right after while the nanny is here, eating out is normally with her other than our monthly date night.

I would honestly love to see your budget for $4350 take home for perspective.