Anyone else notice that OP posted in the LGBT section and not in the relationship section?

Anyways, OP here is the thing: does it matter if he's not gay?Lets assume he's straight and really loves women. A Charlie Sheen type of super straight man.
He *still* can't hold an erection and is not sexually into you, and is pushing for marriage and commitment at an uncomfortable speed.
Also, he F's with your stuff every holiday.
So forget about the "gay/not gay" thing, it doesn't solve your issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

1. He has many gay friends.
2. He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
3. He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
4. He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
5. He is a great cook.
6. He is very concerned about his appearance.

#1 doesn't mean shit.
#2 makes me wonder about you as in why did you chose him for a boyfriend.
#3 doesn't mean shit
#4 doesn't mean shit
#5 doesn't mean shit
#6 doesn't mean shit.

So ultimately the only question to be answered is why are you with this guy?

Thou doth protest too much. Most of things are characteristics disproportionately found in gay men. Especially the decorating seasonally thing. Straight men don't do that -- they have women in their lives to do it for them.

Now DH's apartment when we met was insane clean. He vacuumed every day but his decorating sucked. #2 and #3 were the polar opposites of your situation. I would have a serious conversation with him about his sexuality.

#1 Ok he has a lot of gay friends. Could just mean he has a lot of gay friends.
#2 Some people just aren't interested in sex. Some people naturally have a low sex drive.
#3 My answers to #2 work here as well. Also, maybe he's just not into [b]YOU
#4 My dad is super clean. Cleans the house, washes the dishes, even does my mother's laundry. Why? Not because he's gay, but mostly because he just likes being clean and my mom just sucks at cleaning.
#5 So straight men can't be great cooks? Someone better tell Gordan Ramsey, Bobby Flay, and all the other great male chefs out there. Oh and again, my dad is a great cook and he's...STRAIGHT
#6 I don't understand why men can't be concern with their appearance. Some people just take pride in their appearance. Me, I don't care. I'll wear blue shoes with black pants and a red shirt and let my hair grow into a crazy afro. My dad and brother however will make sure their shoes match their outfits and that they always have fresh cuts[/b]

Just have a conversation with the dude! It could be very well that he just has a low sex drive. If you're not sexually compatible then why stay in the relationship? You're obviously unhappy, so just end it now

The lady doth protest too much..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

1. He has many gay friends.
2. He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
3. He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
4. He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
5. He is a great cook.
6. He is very concerned about his appearance.

#1 doesn't mean shit.
#2 makes me wonder about you as in why did you chose him for a boyfriend.
#3 doesn't mean shit
#4 doesn't mean shit
#5 doesn't mean shit
#6 doesn't mean shit.

So ultimately the only question to be answered is why are you with this guy?

Thou doth protest too much. Most of things are characteristics disproportionately found in gay men. Especially the decorating seasonally thing. Straight men don't do that -- they have women in their lives to do it for them.

Now DH's apartment when we met was insane clean. He vacuumed every day but his decorating sucked. #2 and #3 were the polar opposites of your situation. I would have a serious conversation with him about his sexuality.

#1 Ok he has a lot of gay friends. Could just mean he has a lot of gay friends.
#2 Some people just aren't interested in sex. Some people naturally have a low sex drive.
#3 My answers to #2 work here as well. Also, maybe he's just not into YOU
#4 My dad is super clean. Cleans the house, washes the dishes, even does my mother's laundry. Why? Not because he's gay, but mostly because he just likes being clean and my mom just sucks at cleaning.
#5 So straight men can't be great cooks? Someone better tell Gordan Ramsey, Bobby Flay, and all the other great male chefs out there. Oh and again, my dad is a great cook and he's...STRAIGHT
#6 I don't understand why men can't be concern with their appearance. Some people just take pride in their appearance. Me, I don't care. I'll wear blue shoes with black pants and a red shirt and let my hair grow into a crazy afro. My dad and brother however will make sure their shoes match their outfits and that they always have fresh cuts

Just have a conversation with the dude! It could be very well that he just has a low sex drive. If you're not sexually compatible then why stay in the relationship? You're obviously unhappy, so just end it now

The fact that you can't ask him, but want to debate it here says enough about your relationship.

Anonymous wrote:There is a simple test you can do at home. Get some vinegar and baking soda. Then make a big clay volcano. Then while this is erupting, if your boyfriend is too busy sucking a dick, he's gay.

Ha!

Time to take different roads. You: finding a passionate, true man. Him: finding a ...whoever

Anonymous wrote:"Inadvertently" expose him to gay porn and see how he reacts.

The anxiety about wanting to settle down worries me almost as much as the lack of interest in sex

I had the same thought!

It doesn't matter whether or not he's gay, You're sexually incompatible. Time to break up.

"Inadvertently" expose him to gay porn and see how he reacts.

The anxiety about wanting to settle down worries me almost as much as the lack of interest in sex

Yep, he's gay. No straight man "decorates seasonally." Can you be "just friends" instead of dating?

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's 2017. There's no external reason for a gay man to be in the closet. So is there anything in his upbringing or his attitudes that would make it difficult for him to be out, or to acknowledge his sexuality?

Except for the ones in denial who want to project themselves as family men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is making you feel this way?

1. He has many gay friends.
2. He has little interest in sex, he's not enthusiastic about it, I am always prompting him during as well as initiating sex.
3. He sometimes has trouble keeping an erection.
4. He doesn't have the typical bachelor pad. It's super clean, decorated very nicely. He decorates seasonally.
5. He is a great cook.
6. He is very concerned about his appearance.

#1 doesn't mean shit.
#2 makes me wonder about you as in why did you chose him for a boyfriend.
#3 doesn't mean shit
#4 doesn't mean shit
#5 doesn't mean shit
#6 doesn't mean shit.

So ultimately the only question to be answered is why are you with this guy?

Thou doth protest too much. Most of things are characteristics disproportionately found in gay men. Especially the decorating seasonally thing. Straight men don't do that -- they have women in their lives to do it for them.

Now DH's apartment when we met was insane clean. He vacuumed every day but his decorating sucked. #2 and #3 were the polar opposites of your situation. I would have a serious conversation with him about his sexuality.

Anonymous wrote:OP can you get on his phone and see if he has tinder or another app?

I had a friend who dated a guy who turned out to be gay. We all really should have known. If your instincts are telling you he's gay, then he probably is.

But if he's not that sexually enthusiastic I would get out now. Find someone who is sexually compatible with you.

I did peek at his phone, no dating apps, no pics, no questionable history on the internet.

Yes, figure it out now.
If your gut is telling you, then something is going on.
How old is he? Young men generally have no prob wuith erections especially when there is a willing female in the room. Maybe sometime when drinking heavily?
I know a young woman who married a guy who everyone said was just a "metrosexual", into clothes, really concerned with appearances in general, , over the top involved in the big fancy wedding. I thought it was really odd but everyone said he just enjoyed entertaining and grooms are more involved these days.
Marriage didnt even last a year, his boyfriend got really jealous of his wfe and started texting and sending pix. Real mess.
Figure it out now.

OP can you get on his phone and see if he has tinder or another app?

I had a friend who dated a guy who turned out to be gay. We all really should have known. If your instincts are telling you he's gay, then he probably is.

But if he's not that sexually enthusiastic I would get out now. Find someone who is sexually compatible with you.