OK, I posted at 17:37.
Our daughter had 'anxiety' from K...we wasted time with pediatricians and psychologists, etc.
Now, at a new school, and a better school (privates aren't the best route with this...) we finally got an OT evaluation and a neuropsych.

No anxiety anymore, but ADD diagnosis.
Please, the counselors are telling you information Without the benefit of a neuropsych diagnosis.
Run, don't walk, and get both an OT and neuropsych diagnosis...the sooner the better!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate all the comments and the advice to get him evaluated asap. I'm not sure about the being in denial comments... I fully recognize he has a problem and that the behaviors are not normal. If I could give him medication to guarantee he won't blow up at school, then I would gladly do it. I had a long talk with the counselor again today and he was very clear that we shouldn't look into getting an evaluation until we see how the therapy works out. Our therapist -after 3 sessions- has not recommended an evaluation. She works a lot with these kinds of issues. So I guess my choice is to wait ?

I agree, he would've been suspended already! We go to a private school.

Ok, so I will back off on my comment related to you being in denial. That said, I will not back down on my suggestion that you get him evaluated by a private psych.

I am so confused as to why the counselor is insistent on you waiting. That makes zero sense. In order for you to know what is really going on, you have to get a professional, private neuropsych evaluation by a private doctor. Along with telling you what is going on with your DS, it will also outline what types of therapies you should look in to.

Plus, its not like you'll be able to get an appt for an eval tomorrow. You will likely be on a 3 month+ wait list.

Good luck with whatever you decide, but as his mom you need to listen to your gut.

+1000 I too have a kid similar to this and you are not well served and may regret tremendously later this wait and see approach based on school advice. Schools led usand most all of our friends down the wrong path. The way I saw it, we lost 1-2 years of help that DS could have gotten if we had gone in search of our own answers. The anxiety and depression grew during that lost time. The family was strained incredibly too. Do you want to regret getting on wait lists and researching all of your options? As a mom, I try to avoid regrets from waiting for evaluation by experts. The analogy to the cancer dx. is spot on. Worst case is you have confirmed that the school was right and you will feel like you did all you can do

OP, I've been the mother of the kid with aggression/anxiety issues that sometimes turned into hitting and throwing objects at school. I feel that we progressed pretty quickly in getting him the evaluations and help that were indicated at each turn. Sensory issues -- right to OT. OT sees gross motor issues which turned out to be massive -- right to PT. 1 instance of hitting in K -- got an eval through the school. Didn't agree with results (no diagnosis) -- waited a year for a private eval. Yes, the waitlist was a year. He's had or has a developmental ped, a psychiatrist, 2 different types of therapists for different issues and phases of his life, a neurologist to make sure things weren't happening in terms of seizures or the like, fought for him to have an aide at school since the school wasn't following the IEP and he would have meltdowns as a result. I left my career to be more availble to better support his therapies and work around his schedule (and lucked out at being able to take my experience and get more flexible job).

He has had support at his schools too, especially now that we're in a school that really works for him. Overall his behvior was certainly, over the years, worse than what you describe. But he, too, would go months without problems and then have blow-ups. He had the same kinds of small upsets about what another child did and wouldn't let those things go. His behavior sounds very similar to my kid's and it's been a long road.

It's absurd that the therapist isn't recommending that you at least get on the lists to be evaluated. You can always say no when you get an appointment. You can always start with limited testing to rule out some issues.

Of course the school therapist doesn't think you need testing yet. They'll have to pay for it.

If nothing else, not to make you feel bad, but if nothing else, your kid hits people and you need to do whatever you can to work on this problem. Testing is a part of that.

BTW, the diagnoses were ASD/HFA with anxiety, panic attacks which sometimes resulted in the aggression, a tic disorder, some depression, etc. etc. It was made worse by schools not understanding what was going on and me not being able to support their understanding enough. Finally more than a decade later I feel that we finally have the right set of supports in place.

I'm hoping this is not your process. However, the best way to head that off is to find out what's happening so that your son can get the help he needs. Hugs and good luck.