Anonymous
Post 02/27/2017 09:13     Subject: Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess another way to ask is do you have regret when the child reaches bar mitzvah or are you 100% in on the decision? Did you ever doubt the decision at any point along the way? Do they ever question why you are taking them to classes and teaching something but you don't have the same beliefs? When they are younger, do they wonder if you are teaching them this faith and it is right for them, why you don't convert?


OP, are you the mom? Are you practicing?

Jewish or Christian, doesn't the faith of the children usually follow mom's faith? As a mother I would not want that separation between my faith and tradition and my children's faith training and traditions.

If you are asking these questions, it sounds as if you have connections to your faith and faith traditions and are not on board with raising your hypothetical children in another faith.


I am heading towards marriage and I really would like to hear what it is like for Christian moms that are raising jewish kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2017 00:25     Subject: Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess another way to ask is do you have regret when the child reaches bar mitzvah or are you 100% in on the decision? Did you ever doubt the decision at any point along the way? Do they ever question why you are taking them to classes and teaching something but you don't have the same beliefs? When they are younger, do they wonder if you are teaching them this faith and it is right for them, why you don't convert?


OP, are you the mom? Are you practicing?

Jewish or Christian, doesn't the faith of the children usually follow mom's faith? As a mother I would not want that separation between my faith and tradition and my children's faith training and traditions.

If you are asking these questions, it sounds as if you have connections to your faith and faith traditions and are not on board with raising your hypothetical children in another faith.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 23:34     Subject: Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
I would never allow my kids to be a different religion, that's called losing yourself.
I wasn't desperate to find a husband.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 23:30     Subject: Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:If you are a Christian women (and did not convert) who married a Jewish men and are raising the children Jewish. Just wondering how hard it was to come to this decision and if you genuinely were proud about the bar mitzvah celebrations.

Have a good friend who attempted to do this and just couldn't and broke up her marriage because of it
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 23:26     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Doesn't a child have to be born to a Jewish mother (converted will do) in order to be considered Jewish?


Yes


We convert children, too. So it isn't an issue. I believe Refom Jews accept either parent as good enough if raised Jewish.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 21:56     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
^^^ 100% *of* the work involved.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 21:55     Subject: Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how someone who is a (I assume) practicing Christian would agree to raise their children Jewish. One of the most basic tenants of Christianity is that, "No one comes to the Father except through me." If you truly believe in Christianity, wouldn't you believe that your children would be unable to go to heaven?

I just see a lot of heartache and frustration here if you are more than culturally Christian.


+1. I'm Jewish. Husband was raised Catholic, but was not practicing when we met. Interfaith couples find many paths that work, but in all the that I have seen succeed:

* only one parent is actually practicing and believing. The other may have a strong cultural attachment to traditions rooted in faith, but is not actually faithful. (FYI, I put the christmas tree under culture here, even though it gets a lot of airplay).

* they belong to one congregation, and it is welcoming of couples like them.

I would not have been able to raise anything but Jewish kids. I like Judaism. It makes sense to me. if we both weren't on board, and fully on board, we would have broken up.


+1, we are another Jewish/Catholic family. We both are non-practicing at this point but our children identify Jewish by birthright/culture. I would not be ok raising my children Christian or Catholic. My husband was fine with it as he was religious when he was younger but not anymore. If anything he was disappointed I was not practicing. I've tried to do Christmas for my husband and its very uncomfortable as having a tree is not part of anything I have known. He also was surprised when our child identified more with the menorah vs. a tree (a bit disappointed he was not into both) but I think the child liked 8 presents over 8 days and lighting the candle vs. one day with a few presents.

For me, religion goes by the mother. I don't think you should raise your child in a religion you are not comfortable with. Embrace both and let the child decide later on but kids know how you feel and will probably lean one way at some point.

In some congregations, if mom is not Jewish you will need to covert the child.


+1

I am Christian and DH is Jewish. DH is indifferent to Judaism although he identifies as Jewish culturally. OTOH, religion is important to me and I am a practicing Christian.

In general I think the task of religious education and practice falls on the mother. I could not have agreed to raise our children as Jewish unless DH had agreed to do 100% OD the work involved, which would never have happened. So I have done 100% of the work involved in raising them as Christians.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 21:12     Subject: Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Catholic married to a Jewish man, two children whom I agreed to raise in his Jewish faith while not converting. I have to say it was the worst decision I ever made especially since it turned out that my DH idea of being Jewish and involved was dropping the kids off at Sunday school. Very difficult for a Catholic to navigate the Jewish life without a lot of help from her Jewish husband. Good man, just very busy with travel and work so the majority of this rested on my shoulders. Son had a bar mitzvah, daughter did not have a bas mitzvah as husband had decided he was sick of the "business" of being a Jew in DC, so we gave up temple membership. Make sure your beloved is truly a practicing Jew and will be "that" involved, otherwise it will be challenging, no matter which synagogue you belong too. If I could do it again, I would have raised our DC Catholic, just saying. Sadly neither of them are very spiritual and I consider it my fault.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 21:12     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Doesn't a child have to be born to a Jewish mother (converted will do) in order to be considered Jewish?


Yes


This is my understanding.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 21:04     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
I dated a Jewish guy for a few years. He badgered me from the beginning as did his family that I would need to convert, raise my kids Jewish, and never have a Christmas tree. He was a manipulative jerk and I got tired of being referred to as a shiksa. So glad I came to my senses and got away from that control freak.
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 20:47     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:My sister converted to Judaism and her daughter was raised Reform Jewish. I was simultaneously immensely proud of my niece at her bat mitzvah ceremony, but also felt a sense of loss that she was not Christian. It was an odd feeling!


Not odd at all. I would feel the same way if my brother's daughter (who is being raised Christian with a splash of Judaism) had a first communion (she will I'm sure).
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 20:08     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Doesn't a child have to be born to a Jewish mother (converted will do) in order to be considered Jewish?


Yes


Not in most Reform or Reconstructionist congregations. For Orthodox and Conservatives, yes. However, as an alternative, you can convert the child after it is born. (And Orthodox may make you do this anyway even if the mother converted before the child was born or if there is any doubt as to her parentage -- for example if her mother was not Jewish but she was raised Jewish, because then they would not consider her Jewish.)
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 20:00     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Anonymous wrote:Doesn't a child have to be born to a Jewish mother (converted will do) in order to be considered Jewish?


Yes
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 18:02     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
My sister converted to Judaism and her daughter was raised Reform Jewish. I was simultaneously immensely proud of my niece at her bat mitzvah ceremony, but also felt a sense of loss that she was not Christian. It was an odd feeling!
Anonymous
Post 02/26/2017 17:50     Subject: Re:Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
Doesn't a child have to be born to a Jewish mother (converted will do) in order to be considered Jewish?