Anonymous wrote:Messaged her last night on FB. She wrote back and said that she "found out something" about my mother's death and wants to talk about it.

No. Just no. My mother was addicted to opiates and OD'd. She caused an accident that killed herself and another person. I was extremely traumatized by that event. My brothers and I tried to get help for my mother ofr I don't need to revisit it for the entertainment of my drama-prone cousins.

Your mother lived a tragic life and died killing herself and another person. Whatever this person found out isn't going to make you feel any better, only possibly worse, so why bother. I'd tell her you have no interest in talking about your mother's life or death. It was tragic and in your past.

I am not the OP, and I am in a similar situation. Reading your posts makes me feel so much better. I woke up this morning to a Facebook message from a first cousin that she is flying to here from L.A. in April, and she wants to know the best airport. That side of the family takes drama to a whole new level by actually moving to Hollywood to pursue an acting career. Her acting career never took off. She got married in Las Vegas at 5 months pregnant. The kid is now almost 18. They are always broke, but they have upper middle class parents/ family in the midwest. They just want to live in L.A.

I am not confronting, just deleted the message and I hope she won't actually fly here. I will just continue to be polite and passively ignore. Oh, I didn't get the message.

Oy. I'm sorry OP.

I hope you feel comfortable telling her that you actually do not discuss the circumstances of your mother's death, and that she will respect your wishes.

Anonymous wrote:You can always put *67 before your number so it will come up " unknown number" when you call her OR every single phone, no matter if it's Android or iPhone has the capability to easily block any number you'd like (that blocks incoming calls & texts). It's super easy - literally a 2 key stroke process.

Sorry OP, hadn't seen your update yet when I posted this.

I'm so sorry about your mom, I can't even imagine how it must have felt to be the parent in your relationship & then to have to deal with such a tragic way of dying.
My heart goes out to you.

I'm so glad you've decided to keep this stress & drama away & out of your life for good.

Sounds like you've done a wonderful job of breaking the chain & breaking this horrific cycle in your family.

(((( hugs)))))

Op I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Just ignore and block her on FB if necessary.

You can always put *67 before your number so it will come up " unknown number" when you call her OR every single phone, no matter if it's Android or iPhone has the capability to easily block any number you'd like (that blocks incoming calls & texts). It's super easy - literally a 2 key stroke process.

Thanks for the update, OP. My family of origin is similar to yours and I can just imagine what that 'something' it she found out about. What BS. Time to move on.

Anonymous wrote:Messaged her last night on FB. She wrote back and said that she "found out something" about my mother's death and wants to talk about it.

No. Just no. My mother was addicted to opiates and OD'd. She caused an accident that killed herself and another person. I was extremely traumatized by that event. My brothers and I tried to get help for my mother ofr I don't need to revisit it for the entertainment of my drama-prone cousins.

Oh wow OP. That's a lot to deal with.

I sincerely doubt you even need to know what this person "found out."

I have a half sister who desperately wanted to talk to me about our shared sperm donor. I guess he was more of a father to her. I talked to her for 10 minutes. She spewed BS, I called her on it and the discussion was done. I wished afterwards I hadn't even entertained having a discussion.

Perhaps to shut down your cousin, tell her you know what you need to. Whatever she "found out" is irrelevant. Then block her.

Messaged her last night on FB. She wrote back and said that she "found out something" about my mother's death and wants to talk about it.

No. Just no. My mother was addicted to opiates and OD'd. She caused an accident that killed herself and another person. I was extremely traumatized by that event. My brothers and I tried to get help for my mother ofr I don't need to revisit it for the entertainment of my drama-prone cousins.