If you can afford it, you should do it. I get the whole wanting to teach them responsibility thing, but they're going to have the REST OF THEIR LIVES to be responsible. Obviously they're doing something right if they get into these schools, right?

I went in state and public, but the best gift my parents ever gave me was paying for my college. I had a job the last two years, but I was able to keep that money and use it for "spending" money. They will be forever grateful (I would hope) if you pay - as I am with my parents.

They have a once in a lifetime opportunity, don't force them to work mind numbing, entry level jobs; their time is better spent taking advantage of all those schools have to offer.

I would however have them take out loans for a portion of their tuition. They should have skin in the game.

I would 100% pay tuition for my children if I had the cash to do it and then not burden them with debt. The fact that they've never worked for anything is why they don't value a dollar, not whether or not you provide their Ivy League education.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay for the one you love more.

+1 - this is the only way to respond to a troll post such as this

+2. OP is definitely posting from under a bridge.

Your kids will only get a loan for $5500 for their freshman year. That means you must sign for the remaining loan. Jokes on you!

If you can afford it, pay for it. Sounds like they're hard workers to be accepted to those schools. At minimum, pay for tuition and let them pay room and board. Or if you feel they have some good public university options (say UVA) and you are opposed to paying for the name-brand, pay the equivalent of the public tuition and let them borrow the difference. But personally I would pay as much as I could afford as long as they kept their grades up.

Anonymous wrote:I paid zero dollars for undergrad. I got a 3.8 at a SLAC and got into law school. I manage money well.

Money management skills, and a good relationship with money, comes from a lifetime of lessons. Not a single move re: paying for college.

This, and OF COURSE I will pay for my kids college education.

Unlike the OP, we have made our kids save 25% of every single dollar they bring in, since birth. With that savings we have together invested that money in index funds. The kids research with us and help choose their own funds. My older son has a lawn mowing business and brings in more money than he could ever make bagging groceries or working at fast food restaurants as his friends do. He has had to do business development, marketing, sales, proposals, infrastructure investment, payroll, and customer service.

Your kids might be book smart, but I'd lay awake at night if they were mine worried about their ability to actually be successful.

An unbelievably mean-spirited move by OP. The kids (even if they are spoiled) must have worked very hard to get into these schools. So now she's going to pull the rug out from underneath them and say she won't pay, even though she has the means?

Of course, have them get summer jobs but suddenly telling them you aren't going to pay for their educations is just setting her up for her kids to resent her for a very long time.

So, to recap, OP, you have enough to pay full tuition in cash for two of the most selective schools in the country (total cost well in excess of half a million dollars); you don't think you will, but post on DCUM to get strangers' advice; 2.5 hours later, there are 19 responsive posts, and you decide, based on that feedback from STRANGERS, to cover the tuition costs, or maybe split them.

I sure hope you're a troll, otherwise you don't have the sense God gave a turnip.

Anonymous wrote:I personally think I would pay tuition and rooms and board and have them get a summer job if they want spending money.

+ 1.

Actually, I think I would pay a couple hundred per month for their spending money too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay for the one you love more.

+1 - this is the only way to respond to a troll post such as this

I'm having a hard time believing OP is really considering not paying. Maybe her/his kids are annoying her currently, but to not actually pay? Ridiculous.

I would pay for their basic expenses (room and meal plan), but require them to work part-time jobs for their spending money.

I had to work my way through college and it mostly sucked. I was always cramming in my homework in the time between class and my job. I couldn't do semester abroad because I (a) didn't have the cash, and (b) couldn't work overseas so would have been broke. I couldn't do unpaid internships because those didn't pay the rent. I couldn't do college sports because there just wasn't time. I lived in seriously shitty apartments with roaches and ate a lot of ramen.

Yes, I became very, very independent. But most of the people I know had more rewarding college experiences than I did, and I envy them for it.

I will do just about anything to make sure my kid has it easier than I did.

Anonymous wrote:Pay for the one you love more.

+1 - this is the only way to respond to a troll post such as this

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they were mine, I would split it with them, or make them pay at least 25% of it. I'd have them take out loans to cover a portion of it so they feel the urgency to graduate in 4 years, and I would pay the rest. Any spending money beyond costs for food will be on them, including car payments, spring break trips, etc.

that is also another solid advice. I am leaning towards doing something like this.

I am just jealous that I had to do a bunch of shit jobs while I was growing up and in college. I did everything back in the day to get me some food. Not the same today with my kids. They are like mega spoiled compared to what I had to go through

Do you not realize that YOU are the reason they are spoiled? You went through all that so your kids wouldn't have to. If you really cared about what you went through and it was an issue, you should've raised them in a far different manner. Right now, you're just being a petty jerk and I can't believe people on here are encouraging your crap behavior.

MUD