Anonymous wrote:I rarely see athletic kids that aren't good at school. Most high school athletes are in honors programs.

+1 My kids are straight A students and top, standout athletes.

Mom and dad were Ivy/private university athletes.

Why is it one or the other?

You can be very much pro-academics. Our kids know school always comes first and still have a standout athlete.

Mine are very good at time management. There is no time to procrastinate.

Some of the academic families I know let their kid play electronics all afternoon/evening. I'd rather have them exercising their bodies during that time.

Anonymous wrote:We travel soccer parents refer to ourselves as "committed", but we know that's just a code for crazy. Now for perspective, this is the absolute top level of competitive soccer in an area that is among the best in the country. So my thought is that if one has a child who has been blessed with athletic ability and also loves the training, the friendships, and all the hard work, why wouldn't I facilitate that? We aren't the parents yelling at refs (and the other parents), but we are the parents trucking our kid all over the Mid-Atlantic for matches, training, and tryouts.

Most of the kids I know are quite good at academics, too. The attributes of hard work and time management translate to school as well as sport.

Because what's the end game? That they'll maybe play in college? 10% chance of happening. Playing D1 or using athletics to grub into an Ivy? Less than 5%.

I'm convinced parents do it just to fill THEIR day. It's not about keeping kids busy it's just an easy hole to go down when you don't have a life.

I rarely see athletic kids that aren't good at school. Most high school athletes are in honors programs.

We travel soccer parents refer to ourselves as "committed", but we know that's just a code for crazy. Now for perspective, this is the absolute top level of competitive soccer in an area that is among the best in the country. So my thought is that if one has a child who has been blessed with athletic ability and also loves the training, the friendships, and all the hard work, why wouldn't I facilitate that? We aren't the parents yelling at refs (and the other parents), but we are the parents trucking our kid all over the Mid-Atlantic for matches, training, and tryouts.

Most of the kids I know are quite good at academics, too. The attributes of hard work and time management translate to school as well as sport.

A PP above makes an excellent point - a parent on the sidelines or in the stands at a game yelling at the ref or shouting encouragment to players/their kid isnt necessarily on their own kid about his/her s[port prowess at all. They are just the "crazy-sports-fan" type and that is not necessarily connected to being all over their owen kid about the sport.

In fact, the "crazy sports fan" parents are usually pretty chill with their own kids. Its the quiet parents on the sidleines IMO who tend to push their kids super hard in sports behind the scenes and go to the coach and/or school to complain about playing time.

The parents who complain to coaches are the absolute worst and you will have no idea who they are because they are very quiet at games.

Anonymous wrote:Sports parents are out in public, you have no idea how crazy academic parents are behind closed doors. I am voting for academic because there are more hours spent on that and it is constant, sports are an hour a week or two at games

+1

The academic parents usually have the kids commit suicide too.

My sister worked in Social Services for a local County. There was a lot of domestic abuse cases by crazy parents to their kids over grades---I'm talking shocking some of her casework. They weren't usually Caucasian....

Anonymous wrote:Sports parents are out in public, you have no idea how crazy academic parents are behind closed doors. I am voting for academic because there are more hours spent on that and it is constant, sports are an hour a week or two at games

+1 The academic parents who are crazy (which is not the same as parents who care a lot about academics), are on their kids every single day about virtually every single grade. My daughter has some friends in this category, and I feel so sorry for them.

When people talk about crazy sports parents, they mostly mean the blowhards who mouth off once or twice a week in season--those people may be perfectly supportive of their kids. There are parent who ride their kids about constantly improving in their sport, and I think those folks do the same kind of damage as obsessive academic parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Academic parents can be intense and competitive, but I've seen no crazy ones. Sports parents, on the other hand, with the shouting and the insults...

Where would you see Academic parents in their setting? Standing behind their child at the SAT's screaming in their face to finish? You don't see them because they are at home abusing their children to take the top classes, to get only A's, to guilt them when they get any grade lower, to deny them socialization, etc...

we are academic parents. We encourage and help when needed. Sorry your kid is an academic failure and you need to take it out on us.

Ha! Spot on, PP!

We have a great student "taking the top classes and getting only A's' who's into theater and music. We do go to her performances and applaud accordingly, but schoolwork takes priority. She's never been into any kind of team sports, thank God!

Yes because teamwork, exercise, mental toughness, not sitting inside all day long, is just absolutely terrible.

So glad you applaud accordingly for the one thing you allow your child to do besides stick a book in her face. Kudos!

They are often both.

I have the top students who also happen to be top athletes even with my somewhat relaxed approach and it is a shitstorm on both sides.

I spend 99% of the time trying to shelter them from the crazies---whether it be the uber-competitive tiger mom parents and kids up in the grill at school or the douchey, crazy-a** parents on the sideline.

So I guess the answer for me is: the parents that are BOTH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. One of the reasons I asked is, DS, senior, did his calculus midterm 100% right and then just put the answers on the sheet and the teacher very specifically asked for all the work to be shown, and he threw away the work, hence he got a D. This lowered his grade to a B, and I am really trying not to overreact, as I thought he is past this careless nonsense. He was mad at the teacher, and it was plain in site on top of it, "show all your work." He is also in sports, but in that I always say to him, it is just a sport in the end.

Was it an in-class exam? Couldn't he have got the page with the work out of the trash? Was the teacher's concern that lack of showing work could indicate cheating?

It is important to learn to follow directions. It's a hard lesson to learn, but better now than in college or in the work world.

I wish it was in class exam. No, it was online course, and his midterm was proctored, he handed the papers to the proctor and by the time he gave it to the teacher and she graded, one week has passed. I just had a hard time with him blaming the proctor and then the teacher, but I didn't lose my temper or anything. I always keep telling myself to remember how much I stressed over As, and had all As all my life, and in the end it didn't really impact my life nor my career. But, I will admit that it wasn't easy keeping my cool.

I know this is a frustrating incident, especially since it brought his final grade down, but it is a lesson learned for your son. I bet he will never again forget to read the directions because of this experience and he will really remember it well.

He's learned something now when the stakes are a bit lower than they might be later on in life.

And good for you for keeping your cool! You've been an example to your son of how to be a good parent!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Academic parents can be intense and competitive, but I've seen no crazy ones. Sports parents, on the other hand, with the shouting and the insults...

Where would you see Academic parents in their setting? Standing behind their child at the SAT's screaming in their face to finish? You don't see them because they are at home abusing their children to take the top classes, to get only A's, to guilt them when they get any grade lower, to deny them socialization, etc...

we are academic parents. We encourage and help when needed. Sorry your kid is an academic failure and you need to take it out on us.

Funny, by the tone of your response to the PP (who was only deciphering you can not actually see what annoying academic parents do/do not vs annoying sports parents do) we can now all tell EXACTLY what type of parents you are.

Sports parents are out in public, you have no idea how crazy academic parents are behind closed doors. I am voting for academic because there are more hours spent on that and it is constant, sports are an hour a week or two at games

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Academic parents can be intense and competitive, but I've seen no crazy ones. Sports parents, on the other hand, with the shouting and the insults...

Where would you see Academic parents in their setting? Standing behind their child at the SAT's screaming in their face to finish? You don't see them because they are at home abusing their children to take the top classes, to get only A's, to guilt them when they get any grade lower, to deny them socialization, etc...

we are academic parents. We encourage and help when needed. Sorry your kid is an academic failure and you need to take it out on us.

Ha! Spot on, PP!

We have a great student "taking the top classes and getting only A's' who's into theater and music. We do go to her performances and applaud accordingly, but schoolwork takes priority. She's never been into any kind of team sports, thank God!

Anonymous wrote:My DS is more academically successful than athletically. He does participate in HS sports but is typically on the bench. But his GPA is 4.0 in a rigourous private school.

The thing is, you don't see a lot of parents bragging about their kids' grades, but you do see a lot of bragging about athletic achievements. Recently I mentioned to a friend that DS was nominated to NHS. Her DS is very successful on the lacrosse field, but not so much in the classroom. I could tell it clearly annoyed her. But it's okay for her to tell me her DS scored 3 goals at the game. I guess it must be socially acceptable to brag about athletic achievements but not so much for academic.

I think this is more about the company you keep than about sports parents. What kind of weirdo is annoyed that someone's kid is in NHS? BFD.