Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are aiming for an Ivy OP, your child needs to get the best scores, grades he/she can and excel in leadership roles in interesting EC activities. If they are recruitable as an athlete, that is great. Or, if they like music and have played at the Kennedy Center or the likes, tha tis great too. They must be the best or near best at whichever activity they choose to do.

Ignore the people who tell you to "relax". Those are the kids who go to JMU or GMU or the likes.

My parents were relaxed. My sister went to Yale. I went to state school. We were treated the same. My sister didn't go to Yale because my parents hounded her. She went to Yale because she was self-motivated and highly competitive and brilliant.

If you have to hound your child to do things to get into an Ivy, they aren't cut out for an Ivy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are aiming for an Ivy OP, your child needs to get the best scores, grades he/she can and excel in leadership roles in interesting EC activities. If they are recruitable as an athlete, that is great. Or, if they like music and have played at the Kennedy Center or the likes, tha tis great too. They must be the best or near best at whichever activity they choose to do.

Ignore the people who tell you to "relax". Those are the kids who go to JMU or GMU or the likes.

So true, and it's so obvious. Who do they think they're convincing? They don't seem very secure if they have to pop into every parenting/college thread and tell us how to raise slackers.

Anonymous wrote:If you are aiming for an Ivy OP, your child needs to get the best scores, grades he/she can and excel in leadership roles in interesting EC activities. If they are recruitable as an athlete, that is great. Or, if they like music and have played at the Kennedy Center or the likes, tha tis great too. They must be the best or near best at whichever activity they choose to do.

Ignore the people who tell you to "relax". Those are the kids who go to JMU or GMU or the likes.

Anonymous wrote:As far as extra curricular stuff. I would encourage that they pick something or two things and really excel and go far into that activity. Be it a sport or volunteering. Don't just volunteer at a lot of stuff. Be the summer foreman for habitat project etc. but it takes time to get there so starting early is good, gives you time to find a good activity fit. A leadership position is good but so is longevity in an activity. Shows depth and passion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with this entire thread is that it is all about what the parent wants and what the parent should do and leaves the child entirely out of the picture. Honestly, with thousands of kids vying for each spot at a university with acceptance rates of less than 10% the odds are against your child no matter how much you engineer their life so that you get bragging rights. This is unhealthy for you and your child. Moreover, today's special formula for admissions could change in the next 6 years (and likely will) and everything you engineered could be out of favor. Colleges used to want the well-rounded kid. Now they want the pointy kid. Who knows what they will want nex? &Let your child choose activities he or she enjoys and finds meaningful. They will be a lot less likely to hate you when they are adults--and are likely to better adjusted and happier individuals. Ivy League does not equal success in life. Neither does it mean you have been a successful parent.

+1000
Plus, admissions committees can smell the manufactured, engineered resume from miles away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:56

FWIW, I don't think that the poster you're quoting was suggesting your attitudes harmed your child. She was just pointing out that the bragging rights/engineering your kid's life rhetoric wasn't a fair response to a parent who grew up elsewhere and was simply asking "how do things work here?"

That said, my take was that you were responding to the responses and offering OP a different perspective/approach rather than slamming her for asking the question.

FWIW, I wholeheartedly agree with the encourage your kid to do things s/he finds meaningful and to do them well advice.

Industry person here: yes, that is what I meant. Also--OP needs the process operationalized, not parenting advice, which came off as obnoxious with "the problem with this thread....". I also find it offensive because we don't know the country or culture of the OP. Give her the info she or he needs without putting US values/ideas on to them about what they are doing wrong in your eyes.

Therein lies a big racist problem--the assumption that US values are non-educational and other cultures/races care about education. You might want to check yourself.

???

Sorry to say, you sound clinically insane.

This thread is not a very good fit for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what if my kid's only passion is video games? how can i 'engineer' this into something presentable on his application?

How old is he? Send him to video game design and coding camp. Our DS went as a camper for 2 summers and then was a counselor for 2 summers. Have him produce a game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:56

FWIW, I don't think that the poster you're quoting was suggesting your attitudes harmed your child. She was just pointing out that the bragging rights/engineering your kid's life rhetoric wasn't a fair response to a parent who grew up elsewhere and was simply asking "how do things work here?"

That said, my take was that you were responding to the responses and offering OP a different perspective/approach rather than slamming her for asking the question.

FWIW, I wholeheartedly agree with the encourage your kid to do things s/he finds meaningful and to do them well advice.

Industry person here: yes, that is what I meant. Also--OP needs the process operationalized, not parenting advice, which came off as obnoxious with "the problem with this thread....". I also find it offensive because we don't know the country or culture of the OP. Give her the info she or he needs without putting US values/ideas on to them about what they are doing wrong in your eyes.

Therein lies a big racist problem--the assumption that US values are non-educational and other cultures/races care about education. You might want to check yourself.

Anonymous wrote:The problem with this entire thread is that it is all about what the parent wants and what the parent should do and leaves the child entirely out of the picture. Honestly, with thousands of kids vying for each spot at a university with acceptance rates of less than 10% the odds are against your child no matter how much you engineer their life so that you get bragging rights. This is unhealthy for you and your child. Moreover, today's special formula for admissions could change in the next 6 years (and likely will) and everything you engineered could be out of favor. Colleges used to want the well-rounded kid. Now they want the pointy kid. Who knows what they will want nex? &Let your child choose activities he or she enjoys and finds meaningful. They will be a lot less likely to hate you when they are adults--and are likely to better adjusted and happier individuals. Ivy League does not equal success in life. Neither does it mean you have been a successful parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:56

FWIW, I don't think that the poster you're quoting was suggesting your attitudes harmed your child. She was just pointing out that the bragging rights/engineering your kid's life rhetoric wasn't a fair response to a parent who grew up elsewhere and was simply asking "how do things work here?"

That said, my take was that you were responding to the responses and offering OP a different perspective/approach rather than slamming her for asking the question.

FWIW, I wholeheartedly agree with the encourage your kid to do things s/he finds meaningful and to do them well advice.

Industry person here: yes, that is what I meant. Also--OP needs the process operationalized, not parenting advice, which came off as obnoxious with "the problem with this thread....". I also find it offensive because we don't know the country or culture of the OP. Give her the info she or he needs without putting US values/ideas on to them about what they are doing wrong in your eyes.

Anonymous wrote:what if my kid's only passion is video games? how can i 'engineer' this into something presentable on his application?

Anonymous wrote:9:56

FWIW, I don't think that the poster you're quoting was suggesting your attitudes harmed your child. She was just pointing out that the bragging rights/engineering your kid's life rhetoric wasn't a fair response to a parent who grew up elsewhere and was simply asking "how do things work here?"

That said, my take was that you were responding to the responses and offering OP a different perspective/approach rather than slamming her for asking the question.

FWIW, I wholeheartedly agree with the encourage your kid to do things s/he finds meaningful and to do them well advice.