Anonymous
Post 02/01/2017 13:50     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No way. My son just turned 17 and I wouldn't let him do something like this.


While you are busy patting yourself on the back as parent of the year, your son is just pineing for the time he get to college.

He will likely be the first idiot doing a keg stand during the first week in college.

#unintendedconsequences


Of course, the research on this says exactly the opposite: The longer teens delay drinking, the less likely they are to drink and if they do drink, the less likely they are to develop problem drinking habits. Kids who "let loose" in high school are far more likely to be letting loose in college than kids who didn't let loose in high school.

But go ahead and keep patting yourself on the back.

This. People looooove to trot out the "the innocent ones in HS are always the ones who go crazy in college!!!!!!!!!!111!!" line, but there is absolutely no evidence to back it up (peer reviewed evidence, I mean. I don't care to hear your anecdotes) - in fact, the evidence says the opposite.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2017 13:26     Subject: Re:Beach trip with teen friends
Back in the late 70s, we called it beach week, and many kids from the private schools rented beach condos/houses (through parents) went down to hang out at ocean city/dewey/bethdany for a week. Back then the drinking age was 18. it was nonstop partying, massive amounts of alcohol. My parents were strict and I remember we had a young adult family friend with us one summer, but other summers we were totally without adult supervision. It was insane. I'm guessing this tradition has carried on, but I wouldn't feel comfortable letting our DS go down without adults in the early years of high school for sure.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2017 07:03     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No way. My son just turned 17 and I wouldn't let him do something like this.


While you are busy patting yourself on the back as parent of the year, your son is just pineing for the time he get to college.

He will likely be the first idiot doing a keg stand during the first week in college.

#unintendedconsequences
This is funny. I'm the person you quoted and I am far from parent of the year. Actually, I was exactly the person you describe. I had zero freedom in high school. Went to college and absolutely lost my mind. Not letting my 17 year old HS junior go to the beach with a bunch of other teens unsupervised is a far cry from being a total uptight, helicopter parent who doesent allow her kid any freedoms. That's far from the truth. Funny because a lot of my friends think I'm too laid back, for example he has no curfew and I haven't supervised his social media or his cell phone since he started high school. He has a job and he's a good responsible kid. I hold no judgement if you think it's fine to send your high schooler on a trip like that, to each his own. We all do what works for our own family.


Sorry i jumped to conclusions. Love your style.


Not the PP, but I love that you came back and apologized for the snark!!
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2017 07:01     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. And the idea that "he'll be 18 in a year or so..." doesn't hold water. Being 16 and still in high school is different from being in college.


This. They're not mature enough, no matter how much of a good kid you'll insist he is.


I agree. Wouldn't let my kids go either.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 23:04     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Haha. Yeah, they will be stunted for life if they can't go to the beach for a weekend unsupervised with a group of buddies at the age of 16...

Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 22:55     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
No no no
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 22:49     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No way. My son just turned 17 and I wouldn't let him do something like this.


While you are busy patting yourself on the back as parent of the year, your son is just pineing for the time he get to college.

He will likely be the first idiot doing a keg stand during the first week in college.

#unintendedconsequences


Of course, the research on this says exactly the opposite: The longer teens delay drinking, the less likely they are to drink and if they do drink, the less likely they are to develop problem drinking habits. Kids who "let loose" in high school are far more likely to be letting loose in college than kids who didn't let loose in high school.

But go ahead and keep patting yourself on the back.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 12:48     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My parents & the parents of 8 of my girlfriends let us go to Acapulco for Spring Break when we were juniors as well.

Thankfully nothing happened as we were all pretty responsible kids, but we definitely drank 7 a few hooked up with boys (nothing major, just making out mostly), but now I'm thinking to myself "what the hell were my parents thinking????" I guess I had proved how responsible I was but even with that being said, there is NO WAY on God's green earth would I let any of MY kids go ANYWHERE for Spring Break while in high school (and they are all very responsible, have great grades & are respectful!).

Especially with boy(s) that are two years older making mine the baby?? That's just a recipe for disaster & there could be a huge amount of peer pressure / trying things he's not ready for just to seek the older kids approval

Oh & it's not just yours, they all try & guilt us by pulling that BS line "you're the only one who says no" (I stopped believing that one in 3rd grade ).

No way, ever, nuh uh, NOPE!


I think that your thinking is the norm. I also think that thinking is wrong and could result in a rebound effect.

By not allowing your kids to live a little, you are by definition holding them back a bit. Once they get to college, they may be more likely to go a bit more crazy than if they were allowed more freedom in high school.

I think a lot of this is due to social media and parent shaming. Before the internet, you only needed to listen to the nervous nellies on your block or at your work. Now its 1,000's of well meaning people with stories to tell (think funny story about kids going to the beach and getting in trouble drinking). The only stories that you hear about are the disasters and hence it become almost a fact that any times you let a teen have some freedom they will crash.

This of course is simply not true. I have three kids spaced about 5 years apart. My older DD wanted to travel to Japan with a friend during the summer between her Junior and Senior year in high school. We listened to their plan and let her go for three weeks. The girls loved the experience and still talk about it today. She is now in her 3rd year of med school and is doing great.


I'm the person you quoted who went to Acapulco with friends & in some ways I agree with you.
As I said, we were all very responsible girls & maybe it's because our parents all gave us the type of freedom we were allowed back at home (because we were all responsible) that we didn't go overboard when we got to Acapulco. Although, I remember in my sophomore year another girl went to a party with us & her parents were SUPER strict, they never let her off the leash, she lied about everywhere she went & at that very first party she went to (when they went out of town) she went & she got completely shitfaced! They came home the next day & she was STILL drunk! The funny thing is, her parents blamed it all on the 6 of us who DIDNT even drink as being the bad influences on their sweet little baby & she wasn't allowed to hang out with us anymore (they went so far as to make sure she didn't have any classes with any of us!)

Fast forward 5 years later & she was in rehab for a full blown addiction to coke.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 11:18     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No way. My son just turned 17 and I wouldn't let him do something like this.


While you are busy patting yourself on the back as parent of the year, your son is just pineing for the time he get to college.

He will likely be the first idiot doing a keg stand during the first week in college.

#unintendedconsequences
This is funny. I'm the person you quoted and I am far from parent of the year. Actually, I was exactly the person you describe. I had zero freedom in high school. Went to college and absolutely lost my mind. Not letting my 17 year old HS junior go to the beach with a bunch of other teens unsupervised is a far cry from being a total uptight, helicopter parent who doesent allow her kid any freedoms. That's far from the truth. Funny because a lot of my friends think I'm too laid back, for example he has no curfew and I haven't supervised his social media or his cell phone since he started high school. He has a job and he's a good responsible kid. I hold no judgement if you think it's fine to send your high schooler on a trip like that, to each his own. We all do what works for our own family.


Sorry i jumped to conclusions. Love your style.
Appreciate that!
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 11:17     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
There's a Chinese saying that goes very vaguely like thi,"don't be afraid of all the what ifs, but be afraid of the one what if". All it takes is that one time, just once. For those comments about being one year away from being college, that is such flawed advice. The social atmosphere in college is structured in a way where there is at least some degree of protection from peers--hell thats not even enough just look at the numerous instances of deaths by intoxication or hazing your hear time and time again. What you're talking about here are several teens not even having such structure.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 11:08     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends

No way in hell would I allow this for a 16 year old. I might consider it at 17.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 10:05     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No way. My son just turned 17 and I wouldn't let him do something like this.


While you are busy patting yourself on the back as parent of the year, your son is just pineing for the time he get to college.

He will likely be the first idiot doing a keg stand during the first week in college.

#unintendedconsequences
This is funny. I'm the person you quoted and I am far from parent of the year. Actually, I was exactly the person you describe. I had zero freedom in high school. Went to college and absolutely lost my mind. Not letting my 17 year old HS junior go to the beach with a bunch of other teens unsupervised is a far cry from being a total uptight, helicopter parent who doesent allow her kid any freedoms. That's far from the truth. Funny because a lot of my friends think I'm too laid back, for example he has no curfew and I haven't supervised his social media or his cell phone since he started high school. He has a job and he's a good responsible kid. I hold no judgement if you think it's fine to send your high schooler on a trip like that, to each his own. We all do what works for our own family.


Sorry i jumped to conclusions. Love your style.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 09:55     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No way. My son just turned 17 and I wouldn't let him do something like this.


While you are busy patting yourself on the back as parent of the year, your son is just pineing for the time he get to college.

He will likely be the first idiot doing a keg stand during the first week in college.

#unintendedconsequences
This is funny. I'm the person you quoted and I am far from parent of the year. Actually, I was exactly the person you describe. I had zero freedom in high school. Went to college and absolutely lost my mind. Not letting my 17 year old HS junior go to the beach with a bunch of other teens unsupervised is a far cry from being a total uptight, helicopter parent who doesent allow her kid any freedoms. That's far from the truth. Funny because a lot of my friends think I'm too laid back, for example he has no curfew and I haven't supervised his social media or his cell phone since he started high school. He has a job and he's a good responsible kid. I hold no judgement if you think it's fine to send your high schooler on a trip like that, to each his own. We all do what works for our own family.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 09:40     Subject: Beach trip with teen friends
Anonymous wrote:No way. My son just turned 17 and I wouldn't let him do something like this.


While you are busy patting yourself on the back as parent of the year, your son is just pineing for the time he get to college.

He will likely be the first idiot doing a keg stand during the first week in college.

#unintendedconsequences
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2017 09:40     Subject: Re:Beach trip with teen friends

My mother still regrets going out of town for one night in 1982 when I was 16. Because of that night, she also regrets putting white carpet in the living room.