I'm middle eastern. I get along well with everyone in my office and go to happy hour, group dinners when we travel, etc but the top people are very white, and they bond over one thing that I have no interest in - baseball. They go to games together, talk about scores, players, etc. They also drink much more than I do so they assume that I don't always want to hang out with them, or as late as they do (which I don't, but sometimes do to be a team player). While I feel respected and liked, I'll never be "in" with them the same way as certain others.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP I am an introvert. I do try to keep to myself and only run into people in the hallway.

It is probably me.

Asian American here. OP if you are an introvert and Asian it is harder. I am naturally an introvert but felt stereotyped by white people when I was younger. I rebelled and forced myself to be more outgoing in order to be noticed. I make friends pretty easily now.

It sucks but whatever the stereotype of your background is, you have to try extra hard to push against it. The stereotypes against Asians is that they are nerdy, quiet, hang out only with other Asian people, repressed, Tiger parents, etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP, maybe they don't want to socialize with someone who assumes that they are racist because they are white.

Not OP, but I'd like for you to consider the privilege you have in this decision.

As a South Asian, people very often automatically think of me in stereotypes. I've dealt with this my entire life. I'm sure there are other ethnicities and POC that have dealt with this as well.

If we always went around thinking "well I'm not going to socialize" with the majority of these people we would never be able to have normal social encounters. We also wouldn't be able to change the perception of these stereotypes.

I've gone out of my way to be outgoing and make the other person comfortable so that they would get to know that ''no, not all (insert race) do/eat/wear/practice/whatever (insert stereotype)" And even if we do, hey guess what we're also human and we most likely share some common interests or thoughts or life experiences.

While it's definitely NOT okay to think someone must be racist just because they're white, understand that racism has definitely hit pretty much every POC at some point in their lives. So if friendly encounters and interactions are consistently responded with cold responses or aggressive attitude then yes, we will suspect you COULD be racist.

OP, maybe they don't want to socialize with someone who assumes that they are racist because they are white.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of white people assume that non whites don't want to be their friend so they don't try.

And some nonwhites assume that all whites are racist and exclusionary. Maybe if we all stopped making assumptions about each other.

yep

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I get along fine (and am friends) with other women of color and foreign born white women in my office, but get a real cold shoulder from American white women. Now that I think about it I get along well with American white women in our regional offices so maybe it's a DC thing.

I'm white and could have written this. What industry?

It is a D.C. Thing. I'm a white women and I can't get along with D.C. white womenswear.

^^^dumb autocorrect. D.C. white women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I get along fine (and am friends) with other women of color and foreign born white women in my office, but get a real cold shoulder from American white women. Now that I think about it I get along well with American white women in our regional offices so maybe it's a DC thing.

I'm white and could have written this. What industry?

It is a D.C. Thing. I'm a white women and I can't get along with D.C. white womenswear.

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of white people assume that non whites don't want to be their friend so they don't try.

And some nonwhites assume that all whites are racist and exclusionary. Maybe if we all stopped making assumptions about each other.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I get along fine (and am friends) with other women of color and foreign born white women in my office, but get a real cold shoulder from American white women. Now that I think about it I get along well with American white women in our regional offices so maybe it's a DC thing.

I'm white and could have written this. What industry?

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of white people assume that non whites don't want to be their friend so they don't try.

This is a pertinent point

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any minority women here? I am south asian and have always worked at all white UMC female work environments. I notice that no one seems to really try to get to know me or accept me to their team...I wonder if it is casual racism? I'd love to hear other's experiences.

what industry?

i'm sure indra nooyi is very accepted by all teams at pepsi for instance.

Indra is a horrible boss and human being, please find better examples.

Lmfao

Extroverted south Asian female. I haven't experienced this in my particular work environments(government lawyer in multiple agencies).

Anonymous wrote:Any minority women here? I am south asian and have always worked at all white UMC female work environments. I notice that no one seems to really try to get to know me or accept me to their team...I wonder if it is casual racism? I'd love to hear other's experiences.

Another south Asian . Same experience. I am well read, can hold a good conversation, so not sure what the issue was. I put in effort to fit in, initiate conversation but ultimately gave up because it got tiring. Finally found a workgroup of my own kind and very happy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm south Asian and born and raised in the US. I have felt some slight exclusion in DC workplaces in a way I didn't feel in California. Part of the issue is that there are not other south Asians at work and is very black and white.

What industry? There are tons of Indian chicks in D.C.

Yup! One here : )

I'm a Latina woman and when I worked in an office I was not in the in-crowd but it was because I am introverted. I was very well liked, but was not friends with anyone. I know it was not b/c I was Latina. There was another latina woman and she was super outgoing, charismatic and an extrovert. She had lots of friends.

IME, African American women were consistently the friendliest, nicest women.