I'd like to hear sister in law's side.

Your venting "felt great," OP, even though a bunch of people responded to explain why they thought your posts were very concerning -- either a lie, crazy, or just evil?

Ok.....

Anonymous wrote:Ps. If you think this post is about you, it is.

You are a piece of work.

I've had family members like this. Usually the problem is either they are extremely controlling and enjoy hurting your family, or they resent their spouse (your family member) and are basically punishing them. Eventually you will all realize nothing you say or do will change her behavior. Just keep doing what you're doing, don't badmouth Her to your brother or especially in front of the kids, and maybe one day it will get better. It sucks, I know. In our most egregious case it was the latter issue, and they came close to divorce but then worked through some stuff and now they are all involved in the family again. It sucked that we missed a lot of the kids younger years, but now most of them are adults and we see them again and there's still a lot of good memories made. Good luck.

Op you need to accept the fact your brother most likely loves this woman and she comes first in his life.

Anonymous wrote:You need to lower your expectations. Men tend to divorce their family (mother, father, siblings) when they get married. The problem you are experiencing is directly related. You probably pissed her off early by thinking and insisting time be equall between yours and her family but it doesn't work that way.

[b]

Op again- This was good. Yes I think we are all hurt that she always claims to be all about family, but that only applies to her family. She only seems to be nice to my parents when she needs something.

OP here- I'm not a troll. Jeff can look me up, I've posted in the past about my SIL and on the old money thread a few months ago. I just came here to vent, and it felt great! Now I can go back to wearing my plastic mask next time I see SIL.

You need to lower your expectations. Men tend to divorce their family (mother, father, siblings) when they get married. The problem you are experiencing is directly related. You probably pissed her off early by thinking and insisting time be equall between yours and her family but it doesn't work that way.

You don't sound like "old money " -- just unhinged and clearly not a force for good, whatever the truth is.

Anonymous wrote:OP here- SIL spanks the kids, yells, sits them in front of the TV for hours, feeds them frozen dinners, doesn't clean and stays home all day but we are the crazy ones. Everyonr in her family is divorced, her ex fiancé put a restraining order on her when she keyed his car and threw a rock through his window when he dumped her. But I'm wrong to want better for my brother, ok.

Maybe your brother doesn't want better? Maybe he likes frozen dinners? He must like something about her..... and I don't think he's staying just for the kids. It's probably the sex.

I'm the OP of 'appropriate boundary?'

This is not necessarily a troll. The parent I'm taking about there is similar to this op and would speak almost exactly like this about my sibling and their SO (unmarried parent of their child).

OP this is an incredibly damaging viewpoint to take. It will cause nothing but pain and suffering and will eventually do nothing but harm to the child, who all of you should be protecting.

I'm going to ask Jeff to check if this is a troll. The post about the 3 nannies is a bit out there.

Typical troll. One who writes the vaguest accusations in the original post, then goes on to update with serious information mid-thread when most people only read the first post.

If you're real, OP, you'll know to post the relevant info first thing.