Anonymous wrote:Nothing. This year I'll be withdrawing small amounts of money and opening a checking account in my name. Next year i will go back to work. I don't like feeling dependent and vulnerable.

Ahh seeing yourself divorced

It's called marriage everything is ours. Idiots

^^Roth IRA max is $5,500 for those younger than age 50.
You can make the contribution regardless of DH's income (but over a certain amount, the $ must be tranfered from the IRA account, aka "backdoor Roth").

OP: I assume your 401k is rolled over to an IRA at place like Fidelity or Vanguard.

Wherever, go to their website.
Transfer $10,000 to your IRA account (from one of your joint accounts) and click "make a ROTH contribution for 2016".
Open a ROTH account and transfer $5000 to it (today or any day before April 18, 2017) for 2016.
Then repeat the process for 2017 (today or any day before April 16, 2018).

Then every January contribute the max allowable.

Every non income-earning spouse should be doing this every year!

I have an inheritance, so about $700k there, and nearly $300k in retirement. I hear you, op. The inheritance is my security blanket.

I'm not sure if it works at your income level, but for us, I'm allowed to put money in an IRA even as a SAHM. Maybe look into that? A Roth would allow you to withdraw the principal without penalty. It sounds like you are feeling insecure, and a small nest egg of your own would give you what you're looking for at the moment. Check some personal finance websites for guidance (or maybe call a place like Vanguard directly?).

I have about 20k in an IRA. And 5k in savings/checking in my name. Do not have a joint account.

Nothing. This year I'll be withdrawing small amounts of money and opening a checking account in my name. Next year i will go back to work. I don't like feeling dependent and vulnerable.

Most of it is on joint ownership or accounts. I have a small pension ($900 a month when I hit 65), about $300k in IRAs and 401k type of stuff. $25k in an account that we are using to pay for the house my sister and I inherited last year. Once that is sold, the money will go into our joint accounts. My sister an I will probably keep the joint account we have for the house to pay for a few family vacations and fun extras.

DH has a bigger pension (about 3K a month when he hits 65), but it is now frozen and will not grow. He has about $1.2m in 401k and IRAs.

We do the ROTH IRAs every year, so I get a small bit added to "my" retirement, but we really think of all the money as ours.

Hi OP,. I've got about about $350k in my name alone, between retirement and my brokerage account, plus maybe 80k more in a small piece of property I had before I got married. Having some in my name definitely made the decision to stay home easier. It sounds like you'd feel better putting some in your own name. Are you at least doing a spousal IRA? It isn't much, but you can still add $5500 for 2016. And what about working part time or a starting hobby business if a second paycheck isn't needed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be the goal of the retirement savings on your own? Is your DH's 5M not enough?

Isn't OP already retired?

OP here. When I mention going back to work, DH always tells me that I should consider myself retired.

Wow OP. How does this make you feel?

FWIW, I've been a SAHM for the past 16 years and have no plans to re-enter the workforce for another ten years or so. My husband would support me going back to work and wouldn't dismiss my goals or desires.

OP, do you want to hide some money that's 'just yours' or do you want it out in the open? If you want a secret stash of FU money, you're not alone. I used to keep 10 $100 bills in an empty box in my den. Jus cuz. Decide on an amount and then start getting out extra cash for your hoard. Buy some solid gold jewelry or other assets that hold value and are easy to sell for cash.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be the goal of the retirement savings on your own? Is your DH's 5M not enough?

Isn't OP already retired?

OP here. When I mention going back to work, DH always tells me that I should consider myself retired.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

+1.

OP, wanting your "own money" raises all kinds of red flags.

OP here. I have felt all kinds of resentment recently towards DH mostly due to his workaholic ways and opting out of family affairs. DH has always been generous towards me. I buy whatever I want whenever I want. I have started to wonder if we will be together forever though.

My advice would be to jointly find a way to make family affairs more stimulating and fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

+1.

OP, wanting your "own money" raises all kinds of red flags.

OP here. I have felt all kinds of resentment recently towards DH mostly due to his workaholic ways and opting out of family affairs. DH has always been generous towards me. I buy whatever I want whenever I want. I have started to wonder if we will be together forever though.

It sounds like you've got some things you need to talk about in your marriage together. The solution isn't to start a separate 'stache of money as an ejection seat.

If something happens and her dh's assets get frozen, she would at least have money in her own name to get her through a rough patch while things get sorted out. Working women usually have their own 401K accts in their own name with their husbands as beneficiaries (as do working men). What on earth is wrong with a SAHM (or dad) having a little something set aside in her own name?

It's not like anyone is suggesting that the SAHM drain a joint acct and put it in her own name. No need to ascribe such negative intentions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've been married for 30 years. All of our accounts are joint. We don't do "his money", "my money" stuff in our marriage. It's just all ours. No nups.

+1.

OP, wanting your "own money" raises all kinds of red flags.

OP here. I have felt all kinds of resentment recently towards DH mostly due to his workaholic ways and opting out of family affairs. DH has always been generous towards me. I buy whatever I want whenever I want. I have started to wonder if we will be together forever though.

Oh man, OP. Reading this gives me a slightly sick feeling. I'd hate to feel so beholden to a man who had always been "generous", but that could always change. Also could he be working so much because you buy whatever you want? Someone has to pay the bills. Perhapd he feels resentment as well?