Anonymous wrote:Send a VISA gift card with a (non-mutual) friend's return address on it, but it send it certified return receipt, so you know she got it. She should be able to put that toward the car repairs.

Anonymous wrote:Your friend hasn't asked anyone for money. She hasn't started a GoFundMe site. She's asked people for help finding odd jobs so she can raise / earn the money herself. This is huge for me. Because of how she's going about it, I'd absolutely gift her whatever I could afford, with no strings attached. I'd also do it anonymously.

You seem to know the dealership where she bought the car. Will they be the ones servicing the vehicle? If so, go there, and give them $1,000 towards her engine repair, and ask them to tell her it was an anonymous donation.

Anonymous wrote:I am a frequent reader and rare poster to Facebook. I grew up in a smaller city and went to school with many of the same kids from 1-12 grades, many of whom are on FB. I'm FB friends with a girl who was a close friend in elementary school and an acquaintance in high school. I haven't spoken to her in real life in 20 years. I know you can't judge anyone by their FB postings, but I enjoy reading her updates because she's such a free spirit, has interesting thoughts, posts interesting art, music and articles, has a good relationship with her kids, and she doesn't seem to whitewash her life just for the sake of social media. She got pregnant in HS, so her oldest son is in college now. She struggled for years as a single mom, put herself through college, seems to have had another failed relationship and now has 3 kids (1 college, 2 middle school), who appear to be creative, kooky kids who are close to their mom. 2 of them are Eagle Scouts and the oldest is working his way through a small regional college.

Anyway...she just bought a car from a less-than-reputable dealer, which promptly broke down and needs a new engine. Our city doesn't have good public transportation, so a car is vital to keeping a job. She's asked on FB for leads for odd jobs that she can pick up in addition to her current FT job so she can afford the car repairs.

I don't know why, but I have an urge to help her. She seems like a nice person and a great mom who has done the best with the cards she's been dealt, and she's kept a good attitude throughout. Of course, I have no way to know if this is the whole story since I see her life only through the FB lens.

Is it incredibly weird to offer her a $500 or $1,000 loan? I know I would have to expect to not be repaid. Should she be able to easily get a loan from a bank or a money lender or something similar so she doesn't really need a cash loan, but is really just looking for extra work? (Fully acknowledging my privilege here - I genuinely don't understand how easy or difficult it is to get money from a place like that). If you needed cash pretty desperately, how would you feel about a relative stranger reaching out to offer some?

Anonymous wrote:I would give it as a gift with no strings attached. if you can figure out a way to do it anonymously, do that, but if not just send her a check. I think it's very kind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give what I could afford but not a loan

Op here. I was thinking a "loan" would be more palatable so she doesn't feel like a charity case but perhaps that's not the right approach. How could I do it annonymously if I don't have her address?

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a wonderful impulse and you should follow it for sure.

Anonymous wrote:I would give it as a gift with no strings attached. if you can figure out a way to do it anonymously, do that, but if not just send her a check. I think it's very kind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do it OP. I came from a similar town and I understand that sense of relationship, even if you weren't the best of friends. It's so nice that you appreciate what she has to offer just as an acquaintance.

I like the idea posed by another PP about calling the mechanic and putting money towards fixing her car. Let us know how it works out!

OP already said that this person bought her car from a disreputable place. The last thing I would do is offer a dishonest used car dealer $1000 and tell them to put it toward car repairs. Give the money directly to the person.

Anonymous wrote:I would do it OP. I came from a similar town and I understand that sense of relationship, even if you weren't the best of friends. It's so nice that you appreciate what she has to offer just as an acquaintance.

I like the idea posed by another PP about calling the mechanic and putting money towards fixing her car. Let us know how it works out!

Anonymous wrote:Do it as a gift, and anonymously. I recently helped out a cousin I'm not remotely close to (haven't seen or spoken to him in about 15 years), for many of the same reasons -- seems like a good kid, having a hard time, he's super broke and it wouldn't hurt me at all. It wasn't much money, but he was incredibly grateful, kept promising to pay me back that week, etc. I told him to not worry about paying me back and I felt pretty good about the exchange.

Within a week he was back asking for more, with a story about why he needed it that basically invalidated the previous story of why he needed money the first time. Lesson learned.