Except for the sex on date #3, this thread sounds like one from junior high school. OP comes across as a clueless idiot and anyone offering him advice other than saying he's a clueless idiot must be in the same JH class.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Everyone who is giving me grief about sleeping with her "too soon" and not being ready for a relationship: are you also reading the part of my post where we both said we weren't looking for anything serious? We haven't even had a talk about exclusivity, let alone about, the future. Why do I bear all the responsibility in that regard? She seems to be changing her tune. I didn't force her to sleep with me.

You don't bear the responsibility. But, accept now that what she said wasn't true. She does want a relationship. If you can see one with her, then increase the communication. If you can't, then don't.

And you met her on Tinder. Not sure why everyone is all pressed for you to pursue her more or that there is an issue because you say you didn't want a relationship. Tinder isn't for relationships...

Anonymous wrote:But I see no red flags here, other than your inability to comprehend a straightforward text, which perhaps points to broader communication issues.

x100000000

By red flag do you mean that you feel she might be trying to flip the script? Say she doesn't want anything serious but leading that way? I haven't been in a casual relationship, not looking for anything serious yet not a ONS type thing so I don't what is typical.

Anyway, it seems like you are using long time between contact as a way to keep that distance and not move too fast. If you aren't comfortable with moving any faster BUT you do like her and think there is a possibility of more in the future, you can either text more but only actually see each other once a week or every other week OR stay on the same pace and say, something back like, you know I like to take things really slow (double meaning intended) and she will have to decide how she feels about that. Mind you, this doesn't necessarily mean that she wants an exclusive relationship but at worst you are leading yourself on with the potential of more in the future. If you know you absolutely are not interested in more than a FWB situation you need to have an in person discussion on what that means to the both of you so you are on the same page and being respectful of each other. She can then make a decision if she wants the same thing or wants to walk.

OP, I get that your BOTH said up front that you were looking to take it slow and not get too serious, but once a woman gives up the nookie, especially to someone she's starting to like, it's almost impossible for her to not be interested in accelerating things.

She's telling you that she'd like you to fish or cut bait. Either step up the frequency of interaction, or she's moving on. Nothing wrong with say that. And if that's not what you want, well, REAL men actually say that, rather than play some of the silly games mentioned in this thread.

I would not so much see it as a red flag but more like a communication style. I am a woman and I would not need morning, midday and good night texts as one PP described.
Since you are taking it slow why not continue to be who you are instead of increasing your texting. Overtime this so called conflict will resolve itself.

Anonymous wrote:Doubt she'll be sending you any passive aggressive "if you want to see me more you have to contact me more" texts.

That's not passive aggressive, it's direct. Check your definitions.

Anonymous wrote:But I see no red flags here, other than your inability to come omprehend a straightforward text, which perhaps points to broader communication issues.

He's a little sensitive, which of course in female bizzaro world means he should be emasculated, unworthy of sexual attention for the rest of his life.

Hit it and quit it, OP. Make HER work for YOUR attention, not vice versa.

Ignore her text message.

Listen OP. Just because she wants to hear from you more often doesn't mean she's picked out your wedding rings. But it does mean she wants to feel that you feel her worthy of contacting her more often, giving her some attention and she wants to know you're thinking of her. Maybe she wants more than a casual hookup buddy but less than a serious relationship. I'd be pretty peeved if I was only hearing from a guy I'm sleeping with once a week.

She wants to date, as in hang out, stay in contact etc without necessarily being tied down or automatically living toward commitment. But make no mistake, she wants attention and to k ow you are thinking of her and desiring her. Sounds like you want a fwb whom you contact mostly for hookups..So you need to figure out whether your ideas of non serious dating align or not. If you want to date her, then you need to up your level of contact, if not then let her find so.eone else. But I see no red flags here, other than your inability to come omprehend a straightforward text, which perhaps points to broader communication issues.

Hi OP, better if you had said it was a one night stand if you are having ill feelings about hearing from her even by text. As for being in 30s and not ready for a relationship, that's pathetic, but I guess not everyone is cut out for it. Just text her your definition of casual, that you dont want to hear from her. That should shut her up. Does that work for you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How dumb are you OP

Screw you. I don't hear anyone suggesting SHE text him or increase her attention level toward him. You all berate and ball-beat him because he asked an honest question, this is why men don't ask women honest questions and NOR SHOULD THEY.

You are not entitled to a gravy train.

NP. The eff does this even mean? It's not a gravy train to hope to hear from someone you are dating more than once a week. If he doesn't doesn't like her that much, fine, but don't play dumb and be like, "oh, what does she want from me?" when she JUST TOLD YOU.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think YOU are the red flag for freaking out over such a lighthearted text.

This.

X 1,000!